Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner’s son smashed telly again and DP says it’s my fault???

391 replies

AutumnSquashSoup · 08/10/2025 12:35

honestly I’m shaking writing this I just don’t even know anymore 😭
so DP’s lad (14) was here last night and started kicking off cos I told him it was time to come off xbox for tea, next thing controller’s flying across the room and bang straight into the telly 😩 screen’s got this massive crack now all lines down it

DP comes home from work and instead of telling him off he starts having a go at ME saying I “wind the lad up” and “don’t know how to talk to teenagers” like sorry for trying to feed everyone?? I was literally making spag bol with baby on my hip and eldest climbing on the sofa again

now he’s stormed off in the van saying he’s not paying for another telly cos “it’s always drama in this house” well yeah maybe if you actually parented your kid for once 🙄

I don’t even know what to do anymore can’t afford a new one and kids are crying cos they can’t watch bluey
I’ve honestly tried with that boy but he just glares at me and calls me names under his breath

AIBU to think DP should pay for the telly and actually tell his son off properly for once??
not asking for judgement just advice pls

OP posts:
Verv · 08/10/2025 13:15

DP out, and takes his son with him.

myheadsjustmush · 08/10/2025 13:15

Jesus wept - I'm so sorry you are having to put up with this. He sounds like an absolute nightmare.

What concerns me is the fact he is only 14 years old. Also, the way his dad reacted about the incident just shows where the lad gets his behaviour from.

Your partner and / or his son should pay for the broken television.

I would also seriously consider chucking the pair of them out of your home for good. This sort of behaviour will only get worse, and you have yourself and your children to think of.

Sending you <<hugs>>

pinkyredrose · 08/10/2025 13:15

You can do better.

ButSheSaid · 08/10/2025 13:15

Who owns the house? If it's your property, don't allow the boyfriend to return.

This doesn't seem like a viable, life-enhancing relationship.

HRchatter · 08/10/2025 13:14

We need a lot more information with regards to this situation to help you unpack it if that’s what you want but I suspect you just want to rant
And that’s okay too
But I would be making a long-term plan to get out of there personally

Ablondiebutagoody · 08/10/2025 13:14

Ditch them both

Danioyellow · 08/10/2025 13:14

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 08/10/2025 13:06

Get rid of him and his horrible child otherwise in a few years' time it'll be your own kids smashing your property.

That was my immediate thought. Given that this has happened before and yet here the op is yet again, subjecting her own children to an abusive household, suggests she has no intention of getting her children out of there. Give it a few years and she’ll be with the other parents on here who wouldn’t listen to advice, wondering why all her children are hitting and spitting on and swearing at her and they won’t listen.

ERthree · 08/10/2025 13:13

Get rid. Your children are watching this behaviour and learning.

RogerR4bbit · 08/10/2025 13:13

Obvious advice would be to sell the Xbox to put the money towards a new TV.

No more Xbox is the consequence of the child’s actions.

But yes, your P should be disciplining his child and no, it’s not your fault.

RedToothBrush · 08/10/2025 13:11

You are not the problem. He is.

Chrunchienuts · 08/10/2025 13:10

Time for them both to leave.

Shellyash · 08/10/2025 13:10

Either get a new partner or a new telly, or both.

DoubtfulCat · 08/10/2025 13:09

Next time it could be you or one of the little kids who takes the hit.

i agree with pretty much every pp: the problem is your “partner”. He’s not a partner, he’s a bully, a coward, avoidant and abusive. Your children will grow up like your stepson- violent and abusive in their turn; or like you- abused and cowed. If you don’t want this to be their model for relationships, please do all you can to leave him as soon as possible.

In the meantime , let the telly stand as it is, as a monument and reminder to this violent pair.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 08/10/2025 13:09

Dump them both.

Topseyt123 · 08/10/2025 13:09

Dump this arsewipe. Get him and his son out of your lives.

He's flounced off in the van for now, and I personally would be trying not to let him back in when he does come crawling back. You probably will though.

JFDIYOLO · 08/10/2025 13:07

You are being unreasonable for continuing to inflict these two men on yourself and your children

DancefloorAcrobatics · 08/10/2025 13:07

Didn't you get the memo at the beginning of the relationship:
Everything is always the woman's fault!

Honestly, get read to leave that relationship ... and in the meantime go on strike, no food no telly no childcare!

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 08/10/2025 13:06

Notmycircusnotmyotter · 08/10/2025 13:06

Sounds like too much emphasis on screens
in your household, from teenager to little ones crying from no Bluey

That's what you take from this? Wow.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 08/10/2025 13:06

Get rid of him and his horrible child otherwise in a few years' time it'll be your own kids smashing your property.

TotallyUnapologeticOmnivore · 08/10/2025 13:06

MrsKeats · 08/10/2025 12:45

Remember you are choosing this life.

Yes. For yourself and your children.

Notmycircusnotmyotter · 08/10/2025 13:06

Sounds like too much emphasis on screens
in your household, from teenager to little ones crying from no Bluey

PrivateMusic · 08/10/2025 13:05

No way would I let my children be around that behaviour. Get rid, for your sake and for your young kids op.

Househassles · 08/10/2025 13:03

How stupid could your partner possibly be? It's not reasonable to throw something at the television hard enough to break it no matter what someone else has said to you. Unless you were physically endangering the son and his only weapon was the controller and the TV was in between him and you, throwing the controller was completely out of line - although whether he did it because he lacks emotional control and anger management skills vs deliberately to be an arsehole (or both) is unclear.

Yes, your partner should pay for the television and yes your partner should parent his child, in this case starting with figuring out if he needs professional help with anger management. But you can't make him do either; you can only control your own actions.

Grammarnut · 08/10/2025 13:03

Dump DP. He's not a DP.

ButtonMoonLoon · 08/10/2025 13:03

Sell the XBox and buy a new TV with the money.
Ditch the boyfriend.
Your life will instantly begin to improve.

I would also strongly suggest you begin looking at doing a the Freedom Programme. It sounds as though you’re on the receiving end of toxic behaviour from both the son and the father!