Page 13 | Partner’s son smashed telly again and DP says it’s my fault???

AutumnSquashSoup · 2025-10-08T11:35:36+00:00

honestly I’m shaking writing this I just don’t even know anymore 😭 so DP’s lad (14) was here last night and started kicking off cos I told him it was time to come off xbox for tea, next thing controller’s flying across the room and bang straight into the telly 😩 screen’s got this massive crack now all lines down it DP comes home from work and instead of telling him off he starts having a go at ME saying I “wind the lad up” and “don’t know how to talk to teenagers” like sorry for trying to feed everyone?? I was literally making spag bol with baby on my hip and eldest climbing on the sofa again now he’s stormed off in the van saying he’s not paying for another telly cos “it’s always drama in this house” well yeah maybe if you actually parented your kid for once 🙄 I don’t even know what to do anymore can’t afford a new one and kids are crying cos they can’t watch bluey I’ve honestly tried with that boy but he just glares at me and calls me names under his breath AIBU to think DP should pay for the telly and actually tell his son off properly for once?? not asking for judgement just advice pls

BoudiccaRuled · 08/10/2025 13:33

Obviously ditch the partner but also don't bother replacing the telly - it will reap rewards for your kids in the future!

BadgernTheGarden · 08/10/2025 13:33

X box confiscated until the tv is fixed or replaced. In future xbox in room only, if he doesn't turn up for tea no tea.

Does your DP realise the controller could have hit you, the baby or other child and violent outbursts like that are likely to get worse unless nipped in the bud. It's not about not understanding lads, it's about a bit of respect in your house from the PS and your DP. Teaching boys they don't have to respect women is a bad pathway.

HRchatter · 08/10/2025 13:33

AutumnSquashSoup · 08/10/2025 13:17

thanks everyone I’m honestly sat here crying reading all this I feel so stupid 😭
yeah he’s the dad to both my kids the baby and my eldest so it’s not that simple to just tell him to get out even though I know you’re all right
he took his son with him in the van last night thank god cos I couldn’t of done another night of him slamming doors and swearing at me

I’ve told DP before he needs to actually parent him but he just shrugs and says I “don’t get lads” like sorry but breaking a telly isn’t normal behaviour is it
I’m not even that bothered about the telly it’s just the way he made it my fault like he actually said “if you didn’t go on at him this wouldn’t of happened” I just stood there with baby screaming thinking what’s the point anymore

I’ve tried to keep the peace but it’s like walking on eggshells all the time either he’s sulking or his son’s kicking off or both
I just wanted a normal tea time honestly

don’t even know what to do next he’s not answered my texts all day and I can’t stop shaking
feel like I’m losing my mind lately honestly don’t even know anymore

He just doesn’t give a fuck about you, love. He’s probably shagging somebody else as well. He’s so detached from you.

Orangemintcream · 08/10/2025 13:31

Who owns the house ? Are you working ? Could you support yourself elsewhere ?

Since you aren’t married it’s vital to work out what your financial position would be if you leave him.

whereisthatcathidingnow · 08/10/2025 13:31

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

MO0N · 08/10/2025 13:29

This dreadful man is a very bad and very dangerous role model to his children, he will turn all of them against you and use them as weapons with which to attack you.
He's teaching his son that he can attack and damage your possessions with no consequences. The next stage will be letting him attack and damage you and face no consequences.

neveradmit17 · 08/10/2025 13:28

This is a terrible state of affairs. Your partner is very wrong, OP. If it is not possible to leave right away, start making plans. Do you work?

LakieLady · 08/10/2025 13:28

Obvious advice would be to sell the Xbox to put the money towards a new TV.

My thoughts exactly, and ditch the partner as well.

They both need to learn that actions have consequences.

Pollqueen · 08/10/2025 13:27

Can you get a new tv on Klarna. I agree your DP should be paying for it, but if he won't?

NimbleDreamer · 08/10/2025 13:26

AutumnSquashSoup · 08/10/2025 13:17

thanks everyone I’m honestly sat here crying reading all this I feel so stupid 😭
yeah he’s the dad to both my kids the baby and my eldest so it’s not that simple to just tell him to get out even though I know you’re all right
he took his son with him in the van last night thank god cos I couldn’t of done another night of him slamming doors and swearing at me

I’ve told DP before he needs to actually parent him but he just shrugs and says I “don’t get lads” like sorry but breaking a telly isn’t normal behaviour is it
I’m not even that bothered about the telly it’s just the way he made it my fault like he actually said “if you didn’t go on at him this wouldn’t of happened” I just stood there with baby screaming thinking what’s the point anymore

I’ve tried to keep the peace but it’s like walking on eggshells all the time either he’s sulking or his son’s kicking off or both
I just wanted a normal tea time honestly

don’t even know what to do next he’s not answered my texts all day and I can’t stop shaking
feel like I’m losing my mind lately honestly don’t even know anymore

Honestly just leave him, OP. Life is too short to have to deal with all of this stress and hassle.

MO0N · 08/10/2025 13:26

Your partner is training his son to attack you @AutumnSquashSoup

Cattenberg · 08/10/2025 13:25

I'm sorry OP, but I don't think this relationship is salvageable. You and your partner aren't a team and you and your young kids deserve much better than this home full of aggro where you're walking on eggshells. I agree with PPs that you should ditch your partner and the 14-year-old and start again. It might be tough at first, but it will be worth it to be able bring your kids up in a peaceful home.

Topseyt123 · 08/10/2025 13:25

AutumnSquashSoup · 08/10/2025 13:17

thanks everyone I’m honestly sat here crying reading all this I feel so stupid 😭
yeah he’s the dad to both my kids the baby and my eldest so it’s not that simple to just tell him to get out even though I know you’re all right
he took his son with him in the van last night thank god cos I couldn’t of done another night of him slamming doors and swearing at me

I’ve told DP before he needs to actually parent him but he just shrugs and says I “don’t get lads” like sorry but breaking a telly isn’t normal behaviour is it
I’m not even that bothered about the telly it’s just the way he made it my fault like he actually said “if you didn’t go on at him this wouldn’t of happened” I just stood there with baby screaming thinking what’s the point anymore

I’ve tried to keep the peace but it’s like walking on eggshells all the time either he’s sulking or his son’s kicking off or both
I just wanted a normal tea time honestly

don’t even know what to do next he’s not answered my texts all day and I can’t stop shaking
feel like I’m losing my mind lately honestly don’t even know anymore

Stop texting him. That's feeding into this ayis just what he wants.

You haven't answered the question about your housing situation. Do you own or rent? Whose name is on the deeds or tenancy? If it is your house or you alone are the tenant then you don't have to let these two tosspots back in and could get the locks changed. If it is jointly owned or tenanted then that does get more tricky and you could need the help of something like Women's Aid.

Katemax82 · 08/10/2025 13:24

Try and claim the TV on your contents insurance, my son as a toddler ran up to our rear projection TV and slammed his hands into it and the screen completely caved in (it was a soft screen like a cinema screen for those who don't remember rear projection TVs) and we got our TV replaced on insurance

IWantedThereThereButItsGone · 08/10/2025 13:22

Well you haven’t answered the question everyone has asked about who owns the house, or whose name is on the tenancy contract, @AutumnSquashSoup - so there isn’t really much more anyone can say …

Tubestrike · 08/10/2025 13:21

Contact Women's Aid , they will help. It's the tv this time, next time it could be you or one of the little ones.
You need to want to love and protect your children more than you want a relationship with this man.
He will not change and this will be your life forever. Is that what you want for your children. I repeat HE WILL NOT CHANGE. Please love your children enough to protect them.

Tessasanderson · 08/10/2025 13:20

Selling the xbox should cover replacing the tv with a cheap new or used model

blackpooolrock · 08/10/2025 13:20

I'm going to be another one who says leave your partner.

Why would he blame you for what his son does? What he is doing is undermining your authority in the house. I wouldn't be putting up with that under any circumstances.

You don't get lads? tell him to give his head a wobble.

MO0N · 08/10/2025 13:19

You have to make a plan and get rid of this dreadful man.

MyDownstairsLooisHaunted · 08/10/2025 13:18

What is your situation with regards to housing and income @AutumnSquashSoup

I think posters can better advise you if they know your setup.

Tessasanderson · 08/10/2025 13:17

Bottom line, this situation is NEVER going to improve. Do not for a second think if you can get through this things will improve.

Its a black and white decision. Do you want to put up with this and worse or do you make a decision to change it.

How do you stand with who owns the house etc?

Luckyingame · 08/10/2025 13:17

What?
How did you even end up with these losers?
Get rid of them!

Original poster

AutumnSquashSoup · 08/10/2025 13:17

thanks everyone I’m honestly sat here crying reading all this I feel so stupid 😭
yeah he’s the dad to both my kids the baby and my eldest so it’s not that simple to just tell him to get out even though I know you’re all right
he took his son with him in the van last night thank god cos I couldn’t of done another night of him slamming doors and swearing at me

I’ve told DP before he needs to actually parent him but he just shrugs and says I “don’t get lads” like sorry but breaking a telly isn’t normal behaviour is it
I’m not even that bothered about the telly it’s just the way he made it my fault like he actually said “if you didn’t go on at him this wouldn’t of happened” I just stood there with baby screaming thinking what’s the point anymore

I’ve tried to keep the peace but it’s like walking on eggshells all the time either he’s sulking or his son’s kicking off or both
I just wanted a normal tea time honestly

don’t even know what to do next he’s not answered my texts all day and I can’t stop shaking
feel like I’m losing my mind lately honestly don’t even know anymore

OP posts:

MemorableTrenchcoat · 08/10/2025 13:17

I can’t believe you even need to ask what you should do here.

Tubestrike · 08/10/2025 13:16

This is absolutely no environment for a young baby or you . Genuinely and sincerely, you need to start looking at ways to leave .