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Original poster

Partner’s son smashed telly again and DP says it’s my fault???

391 replies

AutumnSquashSoup · 08/10/2025 12:35

honestly I’m shaking writing this I just don’t even know anymore 😭
so DP’s lad (14) was here last night and started kicking off cos I told him it was time to come off xbox for tea, next thing controller’s flying across the room and bang straight into the telly 😩 screen’s got this massive crack now all lines down it

DP comes home from work and instead of telling him off he starts having a go at ME saying I “wind the lad up” and “don’t know how to talk to teenagers” like sorry for trying to feed everyone?? I was literally making spag bol with baby on my hip and eldest climbing on the sofa again

now he’s stormed off in the van saying he’s not paying for another telly cos “it’s always drama in this house” well yeah maybe if you actually parented your kid for once 🙄

I don’t even know what to do anymore can’t afford a new one and kids are crying cos they can’t watch bluey
I’ve honestly tried with that boy but he just glares at me and calls me names under his breath

AIBU to think DP should pay for the telly and actually tell his son off properly for once??
not asking for judgement just advice pls

OP posts:
Oriunda · 08/10/2025 14:30

My son got frustrated and hit his tv screen with his controller. Cracked screen; ruined tv. DH went ballistic. DS was banned from his devices for 2 (very long) months. Possibly too far on the other extreme, but he’ll never do that again.

JHound · 08/10/2025 14:30

JHound · 08/10/2025 14:28

Are you now shackled to this man now with a baby?

I see that you are. Nothing to advise cept to offer my condolences.

Crochetandtea · 08/10/2025 14:29

Stop texting him!
Noone on here can actually help you if you don’t help yourself. Perhaps reach out to women’s aid and ask for their advice?
Now that you know what they are both capable of the ball is in your court. What are you going to do? Make a decision and stick with it.
‘ But I lurveeeeee him’ is not a valid excuse to raise two children in this environment. Neither is ‘I don’t want to be alone’. Woman up !

mcmooberry · 08/10/2025 14:28

If my son did this he would be paying for the new telly. Imagine blaming you for this, he is disgraceful!! I know it's not simple just to break up the family but this is no example for your younger children. Don't keep contacting him, if there is anyone you can stay with for a few days then go.

JHound · 08/10/2025 14:28

Are you now shackled to this man now with a baby?

RhubarbAndFlustered · 08/10/2025 14:28

Why are you the one doing ANYTHING for this little shit with even shittier parents? My own stepdad used to have his custody time with my stepbrother and leave him with mum to watch the whole weekend while he worked or went golfing etc.
my mum had to cook, clean and care for him whilst his actual parent fucked off doing other things.

draw a clear line. Parenting time must be done by the actual parent. If daddy dearest isn’t there then the kid isn’t either. Personally I’d get a small tv for my kids and lock it away every time the tv smasher is there. Let him and his dad enjoy the broken one.

wineosaurus4 · 08/10/2025 14:26

MayaPinion · 08/10/2025 13:46

While he’s out, take the Xbox and sell it. Use the money to buy a TV then get rid of both of them. Their behaviour is completely unacceptable, abusive, and verging on dangerous.

This.

mswales · 08/10/2025 14:24

OP you’re in an abusive relationship if you are walking on egg shells like this and if violence is blamed on the victim for causing it. Please don’t let your kids stay in this environment.

ruethewhirl · 08/10/2025 14:24

MayaPinion · 08/10/2025 13:46

While he’s out, take the Xbox and sell it. Use the money to buy a TV then get rid of both of them. Their behaviour is completely unacceptable, abusive, and verging on dangerous.

This 100%. This is not an OK way for them to treat either you or your home OP.

wineosaurus4 · 08/10/2025 14:22

Oh wow you need to leave. Your partner (or SS) don’t deserve you. Leave with your babies and don’t look back. He wont change and is raising your SS to be the same.

jimthistle666 · 08/10/2025 14:21

Renoonabudget · 08/10/2025 13:50

As gently as possible if the OP can't afford to replace the TV there is no way even a cheap hotel is on the cards. Xx

However I agree that trying to make moves to get out or get him out is for the best. He's a bloody bully and his son is following his example. Please try to contact refuge or womens aid and take care OP. Xx

Show quote history

Yes, you're probably right but even people who have been deliberately separated from friends and family will still have some contacts. The OP may well be surprised at how welcome she may be made to feel if she asks an old friend for a room for her and baby for a week or so. Friends who have pretty much had to step away from a situation may well be over the moon to be able to help her make this positive step.

ThisOctoberSong · 08/10/2025 14:19

Londonmummy66 · 08/10/2025 14:01

OK - so you say you don't know what to do. Short term. GO out this afternoon and sell the Xbox and buy a TV. Tell your not so DP that you tried to get hold of him to discuss but that he's ignored your messages so you had to take the decision for yourself. Then both of them know actions have consequences....

When he does get home tell your DP very clearly that his son's behaviour is not normal and that he needs to sort him out with anger management classes now before it becomes the norm and he ends up potentially in serious trouble because as an 18 year old who's a bit drunk he lashes out at a stranger. Also tell your DP that his son is now a risk to your two smaller children and that he can only be in the house when he is there - he cannot be alone with you and/or your DC at any time. If he doesn't accept this then I think you should get in touch with SS/childline/101 to report that DSS is a risk to your children. YOu don't want the older of your children relating this at nursery and SS asking why you didn't raise the risk yourself.

This is very good advice

  • X-box gone
  • TV for the younger ones
  • SS involved by Mum rather than a report from nursery or school
Theroadt · 08/10/2025 14:19

Your kids will start to copy your Step son soon - they will disrespect you. So you can’t stay, frankly.

Guytheskiinstructor · 08/10/2025 14:18

Why on earth would you want to share your life with someone like this?

He’s dangerously underdeveloped as a human being.

ChewbaccasMrs · 08/10/2025 14:18

Your partner is being an arse and bollocks that's how boys are I have 5DC,3DS and 1 of my sons are autistic and none of them have ever behaved in that way.

Your stepson sounds like he's behaving just like his father,that's why he won't deal with his sons behaviour because it's the same as his own.

Rosscameasdoody · 08/10/2025 14:18

The only way is to get rid OP. But then I think you know that. It’s feral behaviour from the kid and blaming you for it is a cop out because he doesn’t want to parent his son. It’s not going to get any better. Ditch them both.

summitfever · 08/10/2025 14:17

Your partners actions are abuse op you do realise this? And it’s abuse towards your smaller children who are already damaged by this and will be further the longer it goes on. Your babies will follow directly on the same way their brother is going, I’m sure that’s not what you want for them. Being a single mum is hard but so is why you’re doing now. You’d be no worse off believe me.

ACynicalDad · 08/10/2025 14:17

What do you see in him? Get rid of him.

IWantedThereThereButItsGone · 08/10/2025 14:17

sillygoof · 08/10/2025 14:12

Have things like this happened before?

Read the thread title, @sillygoof …

Francestein · 08/10/2025 14:16

So wait… you were looking after his kid while he was off somewhere and the kid damaged your property and he won’t replace it? Cocklodger.

Bundleflower · 08/10/2025 14:15

PunnyLilacKoala · 08/10/2025 14:13

I feel moving on without the TV won't be bad idea though, let's avoid the brain rot

I’m not certain that group punishment is the way forward here. Putting the Xbox in the dishwasher for a deep clean however…

Tiatha · 08/10/2025 14:15

PunnyLilacKoala · 08/10/2025 14:13

I feel moving on without the TV won't be bad idea though, let's avoid the brain rot

Not necessary, not relevant, and not your business. A bit of Bluey now and then never hurt anyone.

Tiatha · 08/10/2025 14:15

Yeah OP's genius DP, of course teens (boys or girls) are sweetness and light in the short term if they get everything they want, but it's not good for them and it's not actually parenting.

Can't believe this tosser is trying to put this behaviour on you. Good job he knows better about parenting boys, cos he's going to be there whenever his son is from now on and you won't have to look after him, right? Since you're apparently so bad at it.

PunnyLilacKoala · 08/10/2025 14:13

I feel moving on without the TV won't be bad idea though, let's avoid the brain rot

sillygoof · 08/10/2025 14:12

Have things like this happened before?