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Very religious colleague

568 replies

ThatLadyLady · 08/10/2025 06:46

I have a new colleague who is young, and very very religious. He isn’t quiet about his beliefs and in some ways I think that’s great, because he feels comfortable enough to be that way.

But in others it’s becoming quite uncomfortable. He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage. If they express a “non-Christian” belief he will laugh, tell them they’re wrong and explain what the bible says about these things. He won’t drop the subject even if people are visibly uncomfortable.

We listen to music in the office and he will object to almost anything that isn’t worship music. Someone played Sam Fender the other day (the consensus amongst the office was that it was a good playlist and we all enjoyed it), he asked for it to be changed because he doesn’t align with “Christian values”. So they switched on a different playlist, the first song was an Olivia Dean song and he started ranting about how she promotes sexual activity outside of marriage and that it’s wrong, women should be waiting until marriage etc.

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc.

I obviously don’t dispute his right to have these views, even if I disagree with them it’s his right. But would I be unreasonable to mention it to my manager quietly because his constant expression of these feelings is becoming quite uncomfortable?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Coffeetime25 · 09/10/2025 17:49

i was always under impression you never discuss religion or politics in the work place so to me this is wrong speak to managers etc

Pollqueen · 09/10/2025 16:59

Love that women should wait for marriage before sex. What about men? Are you in the US OP?

Mcoco · 09/10/2025 16:54

Allergictoironing · 09/10/2025 16:25

You could try typing out those quotes mentioned above & leaving a printed copy on his desk some time, see what his response is! (Half joking).

Not a bad idea at all!

Mcoco · 09/10/2025 16:54

ErrolTheDragon · 09/10/2025 14:14

And Matthew 7:1-3. KJV for dramatic effect.
Judge not, that ye be not judged.
For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

Exactly well said. Hopefully OP can now put him in his place.

Allergictoironing · 09/10/2025 16:25

You could try typing out those quotes mentioned above & leaving a printed copy on his desk some time, see what his response is! (Half joking).

ReleaseTheDucksOfWar · 09/10/2025 15:11

He sounds more an advocate for hate than the love that genuine Christians try to show.

ErrolTheDragon · 09/10/2025 14:14

Mcoco · 09/10/2025 13:17

I am a Catholic but wouldn't dream of behaving like him.

Please quote to him John 8:7 " let him without sin be the first to throw a stone." As a Christian he will know exactly what that means. No one is without some sort of wrong doing!

And Matthew 7:1-3. KJV for dramatic effect.
Judge not, that ye be not judged.
For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

Xenia · 09/10/2025 13:38

I don't agree with work having any music on at all (and I hope they have bought a PRS licence and if not should be reported and pay fines). Leaving that aside, he seems to be a socially awkward young man who does not know UK social norms and perhaps he has some special needs - I think it is more about than about his religious views.

If he really does have such strong views religion gets in the way of his work then he should find work eg in an all male Christian environment perhaps which aligns with his own views.

MeliBee · 09/10/2025 13:34

ThatLadyLady · 08/10/2025 06:46

I have a new colleague who is young, and very very religious. He isn’t quiet about his beliefs and in some ways I think that’s great, because he feels comfortable enough to be that way.

But in others it’s becoming quite uncomfortable. He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage. If they express a “non-Christian” belief he will laugh, tell them they’re wrong and explain what the bible says about these things. He won’t drop the subject even if people are visibly uncomfortable.

We listen to music in the office and he will object to almost anything that isn’t worship music. Someone played Sam Fender the other day (the consensus amongst the office was that it was a good playlist and we all enjoyed it), he asked for it to be changed because he doesn’t align with “Christian values”. So they switched on a different playlist, the first song was an Olivia Dean song and he started ranting about how she promotes sexual activity outside of marriage and that it’s wrong, women should be waiting until marriage etc.

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc.

I obviously don’t dispute his right to have these views, even if I disagree with them it’s his right. But would I be unreasonable to mention it to my manager quietly because his constant expression of these feelings is becoming quite uncomfortable?

I am very very religious. I work in HR too. He shouldn’t be doing this, of course in his spare time he can do whatever he want, but he should only speak about his beliefs AT WORK if he’s asked, and always respecting everyone. That’s what the Bible says really. I face situations where the conversations are not aligned with my beliefs very often, but if I feel uncomfortable I just discreetly redirect the conversation to something else or leave the conversation quietly. If everyone is listening to music I find offensive I just listen to something else in my airphones.

He should be finding solutions instead of pushing his beliefs on everyone else.

Mcoco · 09/10/2025 13:17

ThatLadyLady · 08/10/2025 06:46

I have a new colleague who is young, and very very religious. He isn’t quiet about his beliefs and in some ways I think that’s great, because he feels comfortable enough to be that way.

But in others it’s becoming quite uncomfortable. He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage. If they express a “non-Christian” belief he will laugh, tell them they’re wrong and explain what the bible says about these things. He won’t drop the subject even if people are visibly uncomfortable.

We listen to music in the office and he will object to almost anything that isn’t worship music. Someone played Sam Fender the other day (the consensus amongst the office was that it was a good playlist and we all enjoyed it), he asked for it to be changed because he doesn’t align with “Christian values”. So they switched on a different playlist, the first song was an Olivia Dean song and he started ranting about how she promotes sexual activity outside of marriage and that it’s wrong, women should be waiting until marriage etc.

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc.

I obviously don’t dispute his right to have these views, even if I disagree with them it’s his right. But would I be unreasonable to mention it to my manager quietly because his constant expression of these feelings is becoming quite uncomfortable?

I am a Catholic but wouldn't dream of behaving like him.

Please quote to him John 8:7 " let him without sin be the first to throw a stone." As a Christian he will know exactly what that means. No one is without some sort of wrong doing!

Wordsmithery · 09/10/2025 13:11

He's entitled to his views but is not entitled to tell you that your opposing views are wrong.
Go to management. Better for them to deal with it, and any fallout, than you.

LittleBitofBread · 09/10/2025 13:02

ThatLadyLady · 08/10/2025 20:31

There’s multiple managers within the office, all of whom work different days. My manager didn’t work in the office today but I emailed them. They have messaged me to let me know they’ll be moving it forward.

Good for you, OP.
Don't let them sit on it or let it fade away.

LoyalMember · 09/10/2025 12:53

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 09/10/2025 05:42

Please report he is being mysoginistic and homophobic and creating an unsafe work environment

Hold your horses.. Unsafe? Uncomfortable and irritating, yes, but hardly unsafe. Get over yourself..

FlyMeSomewhere · 09/10/2025 11:24

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 08/10/2025 08:44

It sounds to me like he's trying to strike up conversation, not convert anyone. I think with the way the OP is written, he's probably going to be let go anyway. I'd suggest the company treads carefully with this, though, because he might be able to claim unfair dismissal on religious grounds.

Nobody should be forcing religious beliefs on anyone in the workplace no matter what religion especially as you do get extreme bigots. If you start allowing religious preaching in the workplace, how long before a terrorist attack is carried out by someone radicalised at work!

Also nobody should be badgering people about abortion in the workplace! There could be women in that office who've been through abortion in the past for any number of valid reasons or dads that have had to lose babies in that way because the baby was too poorly to be born etc, it could be triggering and distressing and this guy just sounds like he'd criticise them.
You cannot have bigotry in a place where people can't walk away and escape it.

Rosscameasdoody · 09/10/2025 11:13

ThatLadyLady · 08/10/2025 20:31

There’s multiple managers within the office, all of whom work different days. My manager didn’t work in the office today but I emailed them. They have messaged me to let me know they’ll be moving it forward.

They need to shut this down quickly as they can OP. As has been said several times across the thread his religious belief is a protected characteristic under the Equality Act, but I think what needs to be pointed out to this man is that so is everyone elses’ and lack of religious belief - atheism, agnosticism - is also a protected characteristic. He is almost certainly acting illegally if he’s using the workplace to inflict his beliefs on everyone else, because they have just as much protection under the Act as he does.

Rosscameasdoody · 09/10/2025 11:05

Juniperberry55 · 08/10/2025 14:43

Yes I know, I've worked where people have had more flexibility in start times with Ramadan and things, but telling 39 people they can't have mainstream non offensive music on because a man finds it offensive for misogynistic reasons, isn't a reasonable adjustment to be made by an employer

I didn’t suggest it was. I actually think he’s acting illegally himself, so it needs sorting properly.

1000YearsRumination · 09/10/2025 10:43

As a gay person, I would find working with a colleague like this incredibly uncomfortable. It would make me feel rather unsafe, personally. If management didn't step in to mediate the situation, and the expectation was placed upon me to defend myself alone, then I would likely end up leaving the job entirely. As previous posters have said, you might not know the circumstances of some of the people who are listening to his unsolicited preaching. Perhaps you and some of your colleagues could make a formal complaint together, so it isn't one person "rocking the boat" alone?

I like to be tolerant and understanding of religious beliefs where I can, but I draw the line at accepting intolerance.

ErrolTheDragon · 09/10/2025 09:31

Mischance · 09/10/2025 07:53

Listen to Tim Minchin's Thank You God .... it is a gem!

a Tim Minchin playlist wouldn’t really be suitable as background music at work, would it? shame…Grin

NoBinturongsHereMate · 09/10/2025 09:17

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 09/10/2025 05:42

Please report he is being mysoginistic and homophobic and creating an unsafe work environment

It's not 'unsafe'. Don't be ridiculous.

It's unpleasant and unprofessional, but it's not affecting anybody's safety. Words mean things.

Mischance · 09/10/2025 07:53

Listen to Tim Minchin's Thank You God .... it is a gem!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 09/10/2025 05:44

@LakotaWolfthsts awfuk
so sorry for your dad and you

LillyPJ · 09/10/2025 05:43

@LakotaWolf That must have been really hard - first, because of the terrible injuries, but even more so for the unfeeling 'justification' she gave you. It's infuriating to hear the warped arguments given for a 'loving God' in the face of the dreadful tragedies and suffering some people have to undergo.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 09/10/2025 05:42

Please report he is being mysoginistic and homophobic and creating an unsafe work environment

LakotaWolf · 09/10/2025 04:12

Livelovebehappy · 08/10/2025 21:39

I’m finding it hard to believe that this isn’t grossly exaggerated. It just sounds far too full on to be true.

You’ve never met a truly zealous Christian, have you?

My aunt is exactly like OP’s co-worker, but worse, as every single action and statement one makes in her presence is criticized from a religious standpoint and full-on Bible passages get quoted.

She once told me that God intended for my father to be in a horrific accident that occurred when I was 18, because “God only gives us the burdens we can carry”. My dad fell off a ladder and had catastrophic brain damage. Apparently that was cool by God because he thought my mom, sister, and I were capable of devoting our entire lives to taking care of a completely disabled person for the next two decades.

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 09/10/2025 04:03

I'm a Christian - he's being really unreasonable. You can't read the Bible like it was written back then; you have to consider its messages in the context of society back then and then apply it to us living today, with scientific and social developments considered.