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Original poster

DD is unwell, 3 month old in house

53 replies

Username19273 · 07/10/2025 21:07

DD is unwell, we have a 3 month old DS.
Am I being unreasonable to say we should try to keep a bit of distance between the two to avoid DS getting ill.

OP posts:
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Original poster
Username19273 · 13/10/2025 09:06

SleeplessInWherever · 13/10/2025 08:54

In fairness to OP, she wasn’t saying she wanted the teenager to live in the shed while she had a cold, just to not pick up the baby.

It’s really none of anyone’s business whether she refers to the kid as step or daughter, it’s their family dynamic.

Stepdaughter, daughter or stranger, not picking up a baby when you’re full of cold is really just common sense.

Unfortunately on MN there are a vast amount of women who are waiting and watching everyday to pounce on any step mother that says anything remotely out of line. It wouldn’t matter what wording posters use or what the topic is, somehow posters are automatically finding a reason to banish step children to the cellar with only 2 hours family time a day and scraps for dinner.

The topic in question didn’t really need any further information other than child 1 is teen child 2 is baby.

OP posts:
user1471538275 · 13/10/2025 08:59

Your baby has already been exposed. You are all living in a miasma of each other's excretions, as are we all.

Unless extremely premature of with particular immune issues your baby will be at the same risk as before your DDs symptoms became visible. Who knows maybe you shared this with your DD.

As to the ridiculous suggestion that you lock away a teenager because they're ill - just, no. Teenager are still children and should receive care and attention from family when they are unwell.

SleeplessInWherever · 13/10/2025 08:54

In fairness to OP, she wasn’t saying she wanted the teenager to live in the shed while she had a cold, just to not pick up the baby.

It’s really none of anyone’s business whether she refers to the kid as step or daughter, it’s their family dynamic.

Stepdaughter, daughter or stranger, not picking up a baby when you’re full of cold is really just common sense.

rainbowstardrops · 12/10/2025 16:17

Well firstly, she doesn’t have a bad case of flu because if she did, she’d be in bed regardless. So she’s probably got a heavy cold.
I wouldn’t particularly like her picking the baby up either if that’s the case. There's simply no need to.
Just encourage her to follow sensible hygiene advice and wash her hands regularly and I’d be anti bac spraying door handles etc but that’s just me and I do that regardless anyway.
If she had a sickness bug, I’d definitely expect her to stay in her room.
You can’t protect your baby from every cough and sniffle though unfortunately!

Original poster
Username19273 · 12/10/2025 16:05

IronMa1den · 12/10/2025 15:30

its our teenage daughter and our baby…

I think you mean his teenager daughter...

DSD starting new school in yr9 and struggling to settlr
Username19273 · 07/10/2025 15:58
DSD started a new secondary school this September after moving in with us to live

The reason posters were questioning is because if it was a ’traditional’ family of one mum, one mum dad, kids fully related - this type of thread would not have been started. When one kid gets ill better believe the other’s plus parents will eventually get it.

The issue of keeping them separated is only brought up when it’s a blended family situation and it’s always step--mum trying to keep step-kid away from the shiny new baby. Case in point.

Imagine only taking a small snippet from that post because the rest doesn’t fit your narrative. What a sad little life

OP posts:
Original poster
Username19273 · 12/10/2025 16:04

Yeoldlondoncheese · 12/10/2025 15:40

oops

Show quote history

There’s no oops about it, the information in hand was irrelevant you bunch of weird women

OP posts:
Original poster
Username19273 · 12/10/2025 16:03

IronMa1den · 12/10/2025 15:30

its our teenage daughter and our baby…

I think you mean his teenager daughter...

DSD starting new school in yr9 and struggling to settlr
Username19273 · 07/10/2025 15:58
DSD started a new secondary school this September after moving in with us to live

The reason posters were questioning is because if it was a ’traditional’ family of one mum, one mum dad, kids fully related - this type of thread would not have been started. When one kid gets ill better believe the other’s plus parents will eventually get it.

The issue of keeping them separated is only brought up when it’s a blended family situation and it’s always step--mum trying to keep step-kid away from the shiny new baby. Case in point.

@IronMa1den yet again another fucking bizarre person with far too much time on their hands. They are our children because we live in our house together and we parent both of them. We have been together 7 years… I have a son and it would be the same if I was talking about him, it’s really nobodies business if I don’t say who is who.

If I was the horrible wicked step mother you seem to be talking of, why on earth am I on mums net getting advice for daughter who is struggling in new school?

OP posts:
Platypuspup · 12/10/2025 15:44

Try to keep home well ventilated and keep a hepa filter (or borrow one) on.

Yeoldlondoncheese · 12/10/2025 15:40

IronMa1den · 12/10/2025 15:30

its our teenage daughter and our baby…

I think you mean his teenager daughter...

DSD starting new school in yr9 and struggling to settlr
Username19273 · 07/10/2025 15:58
DSD started a new secondary school this September after moving in with us to live

The reason posters were questioning is because if it was a ’traditional’ family of one mum, one mum dad, kids fully related - this type of thread would not have been started. When one kid gets ill better believe the other’s plus parents will eventually get it.

The issue of keeping them separated is only brought up when it’s a blended family situation and it’s always step--mum trying to keep step-kid away from the shiny new baby. Case in point.

oops

Pop Tv GIF by Schitt's Creek
IronMa1den · 12/10/2025 15:30

its our teenage daughter and our baby…

I think you mean his teenager daughter...

DSD starting new school in yr9 and struggling to settlr
Username19273 · 07/10/2025 15:58
DSD started a new secondary school this September after moving in with us to live

The reason posters were questioning is because if it was a ’traditional’ family of one mum, one mum dad, kids fully related - this type of thread would not have been started. When one kid gets ill better believe the other’s plus parents will eventually get it.

The issue of keeping them separated is only brought up when it’s a blended family situation and it’s always step--mum trying to keep step-kid away from the shiny new baby. Case in point.

Original poster
Username19273 · 12/10/2025 15:05

@feedmee its our teenage daughter and our baby… I just find women on these threads very bizarre. And I’m wondering what difference it would have made to the answers hence why I didn’t confirm. I’m sure if I had said it’s was DSD the responses would have been absolutely useless.

OP posts:
TY78910 · 12/10/2025 14:12

BournardTourney · 07/10/2025 21:14

It’s good to teach your DD that sick people stay in their bedroom until they are better. Buy a cheap set of towels, cheap plate/bowl cutlery set, get some wet wipes and make sure there is a lidded bin changed daily in her room, clothes and bedding bagged and washed on high temp, regular cleaning of hands and surfaces in Dds room and extreme hygiene from you and other adults in the home - yes keep them separate and protect yourselves from spreading it too. Look on NHS for the specific advice on how to avoid spreading and follow that strictly too

ETA - just read DD is a teenager, still good to instil in her to quarantine when ill

Edited

Would you be following this advice if the mother of the baby was sick? Are there centres you can give your child to for the period you’re ill so you can quarantine? Stop it.

Everydayimhuffling · 12/10/2025 12:47

I would think that the reason it "only" comes up with step-children is more because if the older child is within 4 years of the baby's age then you haven't got a hope in hell of stopping the little one from getting sick. The same parents are less likely to have a teenager or tween and a baby.

OP, given the age gap I think it's worth a try, but realistically most viruses are contagious before there are symptoms.

feedmee · 12/10/2025 12:40

CurlewKate · 10/10/2025 11:24

I managed to restrict Noro to one person in our house by pretty strict quarantining, but we had vulnerable people staying. Apart from that, basic handwashing is important even if nobody’s ill. Disposable plates is batshit!

Have we discovered that it’s a stepchild yet?

No we don’t know if the daughter is a stepchild or has a different dad, but OP does want to know why it’s being asked, saying it’s a bizarre question.

However still no confirmation. Interesting.

Original poster
Username19273 · 12/10/2025 04:50

BournardTourney · 07/10/2025 21:14

It’s good to teach your DD that sick people stay in their bedroom until they are better. Buy a cheap set of towels, cheap plate/bowl cutlery set, get some wet wipes and make sure there is a lidded bin changed daily in her room, clothes and bedding bagged and washed on high temp, regular cleaning of hands and surfaces in Dds room and extreme hygiene from you and other adults in the home - yes keep them separate and protect yourselves from spreading it too. Look on NHS for the specific advice on how to avoid spreading and follow that strictly too

ETA - just read DD is a teenager, still good to instil in her to quarantine when ill

Edited

whilst I do agree this is on the more extreme precaution side, I do think PP responses have been quite harsh. Everybody has their own way of dealing with things and some of these processes are not out of the norm.
if it was a sickness bug I’d definitely be more likely to follow a lot of what you have said. My partner is self employed and we currently rely on his salary due to poor maternity pay.

as I say… everyone’s different so it’s fine to respect someone else’s opinion and move on

OP posts:
Brandyb · 11/10/2025 23:41

CausalInference · 10/10/2025 22:29

This is ridiculous and I work in public health. I have 3 children fairly close in age, there is 0 chance that I locked any of my children in a room and boiled their clothes because they had a cold 🤣 (even with a newborn), children build up their immune system over time via exposure, granted I wouldnt intensionally infect them, but short of "wash your hands" and "don't cough over the baby", my children certainly weren't banished to their room with a towel, plate and fork!

Show quote history

👏👏👏

Brandyb · 11/10/2025 23:40

BournardTourney · 07/10/2025 21:14

It’s good to teach your DD that sick people stay in their bedroom until they are better. Buy a cheap set of towels, cheap plate/bowl cutlery set, get some wet wipes and make sure there is a lidded bin changed daily in her room, clothes and bedding bagged and washed on high temp, regular cleaning of hands and surfaces in Dds room and extreme hygiene from you and other adults in the home - yes keep them separate and protect yourselves from spreading it too. Look on NHS for the specific advice on how to avoid spreading and follow that strictly too

ETA - just read DD is a teenager, still good to instil in her to quarantine when ill

Edited

No!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 11/10/2025 23:37

Flu vaccine would have made the whole thing significantly less likely in the first place, mind.

Original poster
Username19273 · 11/10/2025 21:25

@Yeoldlondoncheese still find this very bizarre. I simply was asking the level of interaction people think is reasonable with a young baby in the house and child that is able to keep their distance to a certain extent…
as I said it’s not about locking them away, just being slightly more precautious with a member of the family with a undeveloped immune system

OP posts:
Yeoldlondoncheese · 11/10/2025 21:02

Username19273 · 11/10/2025 01:39

Just curious what this has to do with the question asked?

Show quote history

You asked if you were unreasonable asking your DD to keep her distance. Yes because in a family home and unit it’s pretty much impossible. The only time times these types of questions come up here is when the older child is a step child or has a different father. The new families always seem to take priority and the older kids shunned, ignored, left to fend for themselves and held to a higher standard.

Original poster
Username19273 · 11/10/2025 01:39

Yeoldlondoncheese · 10/10/2025 21:22

Step child or new husband and baby

Just curious what this has to do with the question asked?

OP posts:
CausalInference · 10/10/2025 22:29

BournardTourney · 07/10/2025 21:14

It’s good to teach your DD that sick people stay in their bedroom until they are better. Buy a cheap set of towels, cheap plate/bowl cutlery set, get some wet wipes and make sure there is a lidded bin changed daily in her room, clothes and bedding bagged and washed on high temp, regular cleaning of hands and surfaces in Dds room and extreme hygiene from you and other adults in the home - yes keep them separate and protect yourselves from spreading it too. Look on NHS for the specific advice on how to avoid spreading and follow that strictly too

ETA - just read DD is a teenager, still good to instil in her to quarantine when ill

Edited

This is ridiculous and I work in public health. I have 3 children fairly close in age, there is 0 chance that I locked any of my children in a room and boiled their clothes because they had a cold 🤣 (even with a newborn), children build up their immune system over time via exposure, granted I wouldnt intensionally infect them, but short of "wash your hands" and "don't cough over the baby", my children certainly weren't banished to their room with a towel, plate and fork!

Createausername1970 · 10/10/2025 21:33

BournardTourney · 07/10/2025 21:14

It’s good to teach your DD that sick people stay in their bedroom until they are better. Buy a cheap set of towels, cheap plate/bowl cutlery set, get some wet wipes and make sure there is a lidded bin changed daily in her room, clothes and bedding bagged and washed on high temp, regular cleaning of hands and surfaces in Dds room and extreme hygiene from you and other adults in the home - yes keep them separate and protect yourselves from spreading it too. Look on NHS for the specific advice on how to avoid spreading and follow that strictly too

ETA - just read DD is a teenager, still good to instil in her to quarantine when ill

Edited

Blimey.

I don't know how I survived the 1960s.

Definitely ask the teenager to give the baby a wide berth, and follow basic hygiene - washing hands and tissues straight in the bin etc.

I might even encourage them to stay in their bedroom, hot chocolate on demand, etc.

But thats about it.

Yeoldlondoncheese · 10/10/2025 21:22

Step child or new husband and baby

CreteBound · 10/10/2025 21:21

BournardTourney · 07/10/2025 21:14

It’s good to teach your DD that sick people stay in their bedroom until they are better. Buy a cheap set of towels, cheap plate/bowl cutlery set, get some wet wipes and make sure there is a lidded bin changed daily in her room, clothes and bedding bagged and washed on high temp, regular cleaning of hands and surfaces in Dds room and extreme hygiene from you and other adults in the home - yes keep them separate and protect yourselves from spreading it too. Look on NHS for the specific advice on how to avoid spreading and follow that strictly too

ETA - just read DD is a teenager, still good to instil in her to quarantine when ill

Edited

@BournardTourney

Where did you read the DD had Ebola?