AIBU to think the charity shop could have given my neurodivergent child a chance

That sounds great. Are there any other options like an old peoples home helping out with activities or an animal rescue charity? I’m sure prospective employers will be impressed with her work ethic.

Ah ok, thanks for clarifying.

Are there any other local charities your daughter can apply to? It is very rude of Oxfam not to reply to her and well done to dd for wanting to volunteer. Hopefully when she gets over her disappointment she can find something else she’ll enjoy. Wishing her good luck.

I think Tesco are a fairly inclusive employer. In my local store one of the regular workers is ND, and another Tesco store employs people with Down Syndrome.

I haven't volunteered at Oxfam for about 2 years but I think it was more detailed than a basic DBS. They may have changed their policies.

I was just trying to say that there may be loads of practical reasons why they can't accommodate the OP's child right now. It's not necessarily that they didn't like her or she came over badly. There are no hard and fast rules - my son who is ND is counted in the adult ratio as his neurodiversity doesn't hamper decision making or understanding health and safety procedures. My friend's daughter on the other hand also has diagnosed autism and ADD but struggles enormously with interaction with customers and with things giving change or remembering to shut the till after serving. Everyone's different.

It is pretty poor not to provide feedback though.

Just out of interest, I note that after initially referring to your daughter as ‘she’, you have now repeatedly said ‘they’ or ‘their’.

Is this just an odd use of grammar your part or could she have mentioned in her interview that she has specific requests around how other people speak about her which may have put the store off?

Knew it was Oxfam. There inner workings are terrible and they are one of the worst for inclusivity. Remember and interview is a two way process, I wouldn't want my daughter working for these charlatans either, especially after their conduct so far. Draw this up as experience and teach your daughter to dust herself off and apply again, elsewhere. She will learn this best if she sees you practice what you preach.

A basic DBS check doesn’t take long.

Well exactly, but unfortunately there's the attitude as already displayed on this thread that anyone ND or with mental or physical health issues will just cause a problem and their colleagues won't like it because they think they're getting favourable treatment and if the delivery to the customer/client/patient is slightly different then they'll complain, because it seems to be the most popular hobby for a lot of people right now, complaining about service of any kind, so you're behind before you even start if you have any of those.
It's what makes me laugh (or would if it wasn't quite so horrible) about society demanding that disabled people, those who are ND and those with mental illness must work - in order to get jobs we have to be treated equally, and whilst that can be enforced for an employer, no one's forcing the general public to do the same, so it's not going to work.

Everyone at the Oxfam I volunteer at is ND including the manager - I think everyone who applies gets taken on there

No one has to disclose a disability when applying for a job. I don’t tick the disability box.

The under 18 rule may not apply, but depending on the level of her needs she may be classed as a "vulnerable adult" so again will not count towards the ratio.

I used to be an Oxfam volunteer, my own ND son still is. When I was there we had several adult and young volunteers with additional support needs.

Charities are very hot on safeguarding and in order to have under 18s in the shop, the manager, deputy or lead volunteer on duty that shift need to be PVG or DBS checked. This takes time. A volunteer with additional needs does not count towards the "two able bodied adults on duty at all times" rule, which can cause massive issues if there are no able bodied adults but lots of ND/additional needs people who want to volunteer.

Staff turnover of paid staff can be high, and if the shop is down a manager or trying to recruit they may just not have time to train new members of the team - any new member of the team. They may be awash with Saturday morning teenage volunteers but need people on a Tuesday morning for example.

There may be all sorts of legal, practical and safeguarding reasons why they just can't accommodate your child at present.

@mummymissessunshinethats made me chuckle as my very slow and methodical youngest has ‘multi microwave user’ on his skills part of his cv :)

Someone clearly autistic worked at outlet local tesco for ages. If you weren’t a regular you’d think he was pretty abrupt, but the regulars all took him as he was. ND people need jobs so we need to accept them into our society.

Midwives, nurses, teachers, paramedics, social workers, engineers, train drivers.

@AngelinaFibres why do you assume that someone who is ND would not be able to do the work??? I hope you do realise that there are many ND people who are doctors, scientists, lawyers, actors, shop workers, etc.

I have seen charity shop managers being mean to volunteers with disabilities (Scope, Oxfam) so it’s a lucky escape. How downright rude not to even give a response.

My 20 yo daughter volunteered in a charity shop over the summer. It was very inclusive in terms of staffing. Not marvellous in terms of HR though. I think it might be worth chasing? There aren't many staff in at a time, and rules about under 18s, so that might have something to do with it if there's lots of applicants (and I think charity shops are seen as a gentle-ish place for people to gain experience - my daughter included).

She isn't a cow bag and neither were the other volunteers.