Housework while on maternity leave

All these comments are pointless as no one knows what your baby is like.

My first was a nightmare, I usually could get very little done in the house as she wouldn't nap apart from on me, and went bonkers if put down. So I took her out and did stuff with her, which was nicer for everyone.

My second was more easy going and I could get more done. But the expectation was that I'd be caring for and prioritising the babies, not staying at home polishing light bulbs or whatever. So I did some housework yes but still took her out, went to groups, saw family and friends etc as she got bored at home.

Your job is looking after the baby.
His job is whatever he does (and there's no way he's sitting up there having absolutely no downtime/break, which is probably more likely for you)
Then you take care of the rest of it together.

Making a meal plan at the start of the week and from that doing an online shop may help. Also a set time for dinner.

Also, you could have the fit of your sling checked, or try a different style - perhaps see if there's a "sling library" near you.

Also, if he won't lift a finger with your dog, no way would I be chasing round after his cats. That's his job.

you would spite your daughter over a petty argument over housework? YABVU

Sounds like you don’t do that much tbh- or at least very selective

But she's not home all day, she's out keeping herself sane and giving baby some experiences and meeting other people, which is important

Twins! I can only imagine the stress of this 😐

I'm also in a similar boat r.e slings/carriers, I too try them constantly to give me a bit more freedom to move around the house and my 12 week old just cries, screams and head buts me, I think its because she's breastfed and comfort sucks a lot, so she gets frustrated being so close to my chest without being fed (I've tried to feed with it on, couldn't get it to work). Im hoping when she has better neck control and she can be faced foward ir worn on my side to have better luck.

Anyway, glad you and your partner have had a chat and feel better.

Had the same, but in twin form!

Several mumsnetters lost their mind on a thread when I said barely had time to have a piss during maternity leave, and indeed thereafter. With one notable user denouncing me for wasting time on mumsnet and therefore definitely exaggerating lack of loo time 😄🙄

And then number of people that seem to have babies like this, yet still breed 2 and even 3rd ones Talk about gluttons for punishment

Dishwasher should go on every single evening, and needs to be emptied every single morning.

its easy.

My DD was a nightmare she woke every 2 hours through the night and then awake fully for the day at 5am, this went on until she was nearly 3, she didn't nap for long either, I remember those days in a sleep deprived haze, I was like the livng dead. I vowed never to have another but I did and DS was a bit easier, not much, but a bit and it made all the difference

I always read posts like this and laugh. Oh to have one of these babies! Mine will scream - literally scream until she's sick and hiccuping and has a face rash - the moment she's put down and I walk away from her. She doesn't nap unless held either. I get absolutely nothing done when I'm on my own with her, she is my all-encompassing, full time job.

When I just had one baby to look after and it was blissful (😂😂) I would do the housework with my baby in a sling or a carrier. You can hoover and make all sorts of noise. In the evening my husband mostly cooks but would have cuddles with baby while I sorted washing, changed beds etc. I found it really good to have a plan of what chores I did on certain days.
sounds like resentment had crept in so just talk to each other to Iron things out.
are you suggesting you go back to work full time so you don’t have to clean the house? Because that’s nuts.

Buy a sling, that way the baby is being held next to you, but you can get on with doing bits around the home.

I’m on maternity leave too at the moment with my 13 week old and I confess I do do all the housework, tidying, cook dinner, laundry, grocery shopping, organising everything with the children etc. I also have a toddler and a dog. I enjoy it though, I’ve always loved looking after the house and I like things done in a very particular way. It also breaks my day up. I used the sling a lot and would carry my little one around on all my cleaning adventures! It’s not totally one sided though, my partner works from home and he makes all the hot drinks, takes the dog out for a walk daily, takes the laundry to and from the dryer in the shed and vacuums during his lunch break when he’ll also offer to take over the children for a bit if I want a break to have lunch. When he finishes work at 5pm we both look after the children 50/50, and the same at weekends.

I think YABVU. Hes wants you to do one chore per day so he doesnt feel like everything is on him.

Babies are hard work but they are adorable too and I can see why it may appear to him youre hobnobbing and playing while hes doing most of the cleaning and half the cooking on top of working

Best comment ever, helpful and kind! And I totally agree with this.

Imagine with a 5 month old baby. You work all day then you come home look after the baby, sort the house out, make dinner and deal with night wakings before doing the same the following day. On your days off you spent more time with the baby, do the shopping and bigger deep clean of house as well as trying to fit in stuff like gym, meeting people etc

That's a lot of people's realities

As someone who has been on three maternity leaves, I really feel for you and think he is in the wrong. Your maternity leave is something to be cherished, you will never get this time again, and it’s also a full time job in itself caring for a baby. So do the classes you enjoy, meet friends, sit on the sofa cuddling and bonding with your baby. The housework is not the proiroty. Try to accept as a couple it will slip. Just do the bare minimum, throw a wash on, wipe surfaces etc. Could you get a cleaner? If you have the means this takes off the pressure and also takes away the resentment you and your partner feel about the domestic tasks. life’s too short, just enjoy this time with your baby and do day to day what makes you happy

He sounds like a gem tbh . My X did nothing and absolutely no cleaning . I had 4 children and still did it all . That's why he's now an X . You both need to draw up a rota of who does what including his work and child care of which you will obviously do the most when he's working . Split it evenly then he won't feel resentful and you won't feel attacked .

Your DH does a lot and you're bu, you have a lot of spare time and could manage more, in your DH' shoes l would not be too happy.