Housework while on maternity leave

So what if you're a single parent or partner works away? Do you sit in fifth as it's not "maid " leave?

And what if you have a second child? Aether ignore bored while you spend tge whole day carrying a baby about and lrtt to make mess everywhere?

I don't know whos wrong but if you are both feeling its unfair why dont you sit down with a brief list of chores and split them. You can take turns making dinner. I know its tough when you have a young child, but with a bit of understanding and planning you can defo scramble through!

Maybe you could walk the dog with baby in pram or carrier earlier in the day and try and form a new routine because it sounds like everyone getting stressy around dinner time. You are doing enough its hard work with a new baby and the animals that were previously no bother are now a tipping point for your frustration.. Your partner being home might sound good but actually he's just getting in your way so i think you need to work out a schedule for both of you with the chores and pets around taking care of your little one.

I didn't do much housework on mat leave, I saw it as mat leave not maid leave. I had days when I really didn't achieve anything but hey, I had a baby to keep happy.

But then again, how much is there to do, just 2 adults and a baby? Is dinner, loading a dishwasher and wiping a few surfaces housework? Really? Do you live in a gigantic house? Why don't you batch cook?

The dog and cats do add a significant load and that was your choice. I can't imagine having AN HOUR to myself every single day to go for a walk when I had a 5 month old. So yeah, getting such a high needs dog knowing you will want a baby soon is totally your fault.

I do advise you sort it out pronto because once weaning starts, you'll have a lot more cooking and cleaning to do and as the baby grows, it's harder to stuff, not easier.

OP, I really struggled to get much done and still do with a toddler. I think some people forget the relentlessness of caring for a young baby, or perhaps were fortunate enough to have babies they could do more with - no one has the exact same experience I know that much!

I think maybe you could get a slow cooker and try some of those 15 mins meals online , quick and easy and aim to cook most days .
I would also empty the dishwasher and a quick hoover , and put a wash on. Those are priorities, if he doesn't like that let him do the rest , can you walk the dog in the morning whilst you walk with the pram ? Or can you drive to a park where you can walk the dog / sit at a cafe ?
What was the agreement with your husband regarding your work / nursery before trying for a baby and how old are you both ?

What's the point of asking for advice on Mumsnet really, yet another post I read where some people are AGAIN nasty and mean. For goodness sake the OP gave birth 5 months ago, give her a break. Stop making people suffer more mentally than they already are !! It's mean and shitty. Let just all take each other down and then complain women are bitchy and don't support other women.. how ironic!

He will soon change his mind when he has 50/50 childcare costs present him the bill tell him to sort his own cat from now on. Being a stay at home mum physically and emotionally exhausting, I found working easier. I now stay home with our youngest 5 children, 3 in school two at home (twins) we have two sets of (twins) my husband valued me more when he had the childcare bill to pay. Now he comes home after 13hr shifts and helps with the house work if it's needed) not always I need help but at times I do I am also now disabled, and in a wheelchair this year that happened so yes my husband had to buckle up and help at times of need I contributed 30% he picked up 70% some days I do 60% him 40% of helping it's how marriage works.

No one commenting on here has any idea what it's like to be in your relationship other than the short snippet you've put on here.
Having a baby is amazing sometimes, crap other times and I'm yet to come across a couple who doesn't have the "who does more argument" when kids just come along. And sometimes its really blooming frustrating how little you get done when you've got an unsettled baby around, and it can also be really blooming frustrating when your partner doesn't get enough done with an unsettled baby around.
Your partner on the whole sounds really supportive, I'd just take yourself away from the argument if it comes up, have a bit of a grump then get passed it. Neither of you will ever win the "who does more" argument.
And finally... ENJOY those work free, maternity leave coffees and cakes and baby clubs. In a years time you will have forgotten you ever had these arguments and be really glad you got that time with your child. ❤
(Trust me... ive had three maternity leaves!)

This is the best reply I've read. And far fairer than I was. Be a good team.

Some awful and fairly baffling responses on this thread OP. I can't think of a single woman I know in real life who would call any new mum (let alone one who is struggling, has a higher needs baby and is recovering from a difficult birth) lazy / useless / ineffective etc. I genuinely can't picture who is behind a screen doing that! I know I'd be very upset to read any of those comments so I hope you're ok and not taking them to heart.

As more sensible posters have told you, within working hours, his work is his job (with any chores thrown in a bonus) and looking after the baby and recovering is yours (again, any chores being a bonus). Baby groups and coffees with friends might be more fun than a paid job but 1. you're allowed to enjoy your baby, 2. you need socialisation to stay sane and 3. your day will have lots of difficult parts too - it is like any job.

Outside work hours, one of you has baby and one of you does the housework (by the way, my husband and I always found that doing chores felt like a break compared to looking after a baby - yes they're cuddly and lovely but you're always constantly on alert). After that, you both split free time equally. Yes, you could take a pram or sling on your dog walk but it sounds like it is your only time without the baby and you deserve that. Things will get much easier as she gets older and into a better routine. Unfortunately, at this stage of your life you're both likely to feel you're not getting much of a break. It doesn't last forever.

Lastly, be kind to each other. I'm glad you've had a good talk. His mixed messages are unacceptable and bound to make you feel very insecure, but so are your comments about his age. Don't be tit for tat - assume the best in each other and communicate regularly. Sending lots of hugs!

I've reported this thread now, not because of you OP but because you've been called some terrible names under the pretence of some posters saying "I'm only being honest" it's probably the same people who spout the "be kind" mantra in real life, please don't rise to them it's what they want, ignore them from now on.
It sounds like you've been making headway with your other half and that's good!

People are being knobs. Having a baby is a right pain sometimes and if you’re up half the night no one is at their best.

Moses basket needs to go in the bin if it’s got loose fabric.

Yes. This.

OP, I’d strongly suggest you hide this thread and move on, as it’s clearly not helping you.

Whilst I don’t think you’re a troll OP, you are coming across as a bit nuts. I genuinely don’t mean that nastily. It really doesn’t sound like you’re coping very much. You need to breathe. I think perhaps you need to step away from this thread as it’s clearly causing you too much aggravation and enjoy the day with your baby.

Household chores never go away. Are you a teenager?