To do a day out without newborn weeks after birth?

Why can’t you take the baby? It’s a family event with kids? If it’s choice fair enough but I’d just take the baby and DH can do most of the car while you dip in and out looking after baby.

Do you really need to decide now?

My answer is focus on you, your induction and baby.

If you feel up to it on the day of the event - go. If you don’t - don’t go.

I guess it's fine if you really want to, but I also don't understand why you can't take the baby? Do you think it will be too loud/boisterous? It sounds like some kind of family reunion.

I wouldn't have gone without my newborn if I was in your situation. Even if it meant leaving earlier to take breaks during the drive, and having DH babywear at the event so I could spend time with DS. I just would not have wanted to be away for so long. And newborns are the least disruptive kind of baby, they just want to snuggle and feed. I don't understand, but that's not a reason for you not to do it.

The plan is unreasonable. A newborn should not be left without their mother that long unless unavoidable (I mean like medical reasons, not to attend a party or a wedding or an audition or whatever).

Yes you can pump milk but milk is not only for nutrition.
I would send apologies now and you can arrange a separate treat/outing focussing on existing DC.

Mostly I’d agree but at two weeks I do think they need their mother, to be honest. Anyone else is a stranger.

If you could all go ir would probably be easier- purely because you wouldn’t need to pump when there.

Whether you go by yourself with your son would depend on the drive and your recovery. I was really heavily bleeding for about 3 weeks after both of mine and wouldn’t have felt up to this- especially as my hormones would have been everywhere and I’d be leaking milk.

It's not unreasonable, but it's pretty unrealistic. Even if you feel absolutely fine, you'll be hormonal, your hormones will stop you from wanting to be away for six hours, you won't have much of a stash for breastfeeding yet, your baby may not take bottles, and you won't really have established pumping.

You may also find DS does not want to go without the baby; mine didn't - he got very upset when he was separated from newborn DD!

I could physically have done it two weeks after both of my sections but emotionally, it'd have been a no-go; and practically it wouldn't have worked either.

If you do go, be really careful around the risk of mastitis. It kicks in quickly and is not fun.

I feel like everyone saying of course, no big deal, baby is with their father, has never breastfed before.

You'll have to do mixed feeding from birth, the baby won't take a one off bottle, the latch is different. I've just had my GC while my DD went on holiday, but I never had them before six weeks because she wanted to fully BF. As said you'll need to pump when there.

Agree with all of this.

If you can, fabulous. I know I wouldn't of been able to due to much of the above.

If nothing else, if your sleep is deprived, then driving the (unspecified) distance maybe a big issue.

I would consider how difficult it would be if you needed to cancel eg would a lot of money have been paid upfront for your ticket or something?

If cancelling at short notice is going to cause massive disruption then it's probably better to bow out now as it will be hard for you to be completely certain you can go.

Otherwise you can see how you feel nearer the time?

I really couldn't have done this with either of mine. It's not just about breastfeeding (which, if you plan to do that, is unlikely to be fully established and plain sailing by week 2), it's your physical healing, and your emotional state - I couldn't have been apart from my newborns for longer than half an hour at that stage without losing my mind.

I also agree with pps that it's not the best thing for the baby. Yes yes, dad will look after the baby etc, but at two weeks old you are all he or she has ever known or understands, and personally I think it's cruel to just disappear for so long. I'm sure I'll get a roasting for saying that.

The year is 2025. Why all the pressure being put on mums not to be allowed a couple of hours away from baby if they feel up to it? IF the OP can organise it well enough and feels well enough then that’s fine surely. Some responses here are bordering on misogyny.

why isnt the baby welcome? Its a bit odd having a family event yet not all the family is welcome?

Yes, it's a really silly idea.

You'll be knackered one or two weeks after delivery, mentally amd physically.

Your son won't miss the event at all. In the wider context of his childhood, this is one single day he can easily survive without experiencing.

I actually can't quite understand how it came to be that you are giving this any consideration at all.

Your husband is speaking sense here.

Personally, I would go as a family. Baby wear so the baby is close to you/your husband. And leave if it is too much 🤷‍♀️

This.
Why is baby not welcome?

The child will be with the father. You can provide milk. You can go.
It is just whether physically you are up to it that soon after giving birth.

FFS???

A week post partum and you’re healed well enough from the birth to drive an unspecified distance and wrangle what sounds like a toddler or preschooler in/out of the car, established breastfeeding well enough to have pumped a stash for DH to feed and are comfortable pumping out of the house, not a hormonal sleep deprived mess, not still bleeding heavily, emotionally ok with leaving the newborn and up for a family party - sounds really, really unrealistic to me. Yeah you might manage it but I think it’s more likely than not that you wouldn’t and if you did push yourself then you really wouldn’t enjoy it.

If OP simply wants YES or NO answers and not to be drawn into a discussion of the arrangements and can the baby really not come then I’d have to errr on the side of no.

I think your being unrealistic.

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer. It's what YOU feel is best for your baby and your son. If you're doubting yourself, get to the bottom of your doubts and work through them.

(Personally I would have been a zombie at 1 or 2 weeks post-partum, I was still gazing at my babies with wonderment, my breasts ached for them, they still felt part of my body and mind. But every woman is different, I know plenty of women who didn't feel that way at all.)

I wouldn’t have wanted to be at such a long event so soon after the birth of any of my children, even with my DH there.
i certainly wouldn’t have wanted to be separated from my baby for so long.
And assuming your DS is young, he won’t have a clue he is “missing out” unless you or someone tell him.

It is of course doable OP, assuming you have a textbook birth and a textbook baby.

If perchance your baby has reflux, or doesn’t sleep, or you are unwell after birth, all bets are off as far as that outing.

If you are aware of, and accepting of the outing not happening, proceed with planning to go but will accept not going too.

Gor goodness sake don’t go building it up as the outing of the century for your child, in case it doesn’t happen,

I think it’s unrealistic too.
Even with a fantastic recovery, the baby is only a week or two old. They shouldn’t be separated from you and you’re still recovering.
It’s fine for your ds to miss it, despite how much he’d enjoy it.

This! As I say, everyone's different, but I've never related to Mums who are "toodle pip" and off on nights out and stuff with a newborn. Could never have been me!