To wonder how other families get to the end of the month?

Is your salary before or after tax because I need to be learning from you!

Have you tried something like You Need A Budget? Or another envelope budgeting app?

One of the key ideas is that unexpected expenses like car repairs aren't really unexpected because you know if you have a car, at some stage it will need repairs, you just don't know when. So you put aside x amount every month, so that when car repairs become due, you already have money in that 'envelope' to cover it. Same for things like appliance repairs. If you have a boiler, at some stage it will break down so you have an appliance repair fund. If you need glasses, at some stage you will need new glasses... you get the idea.

It sounds as though you have enough income, you just haven't budgeted for foreseeable but unscheduled expenses. The first couple of months are tight, but once you get the different funds built up, it smooths out bumps in outgoings.

Can’t tell if you’re trying to be funny, or willy wanging 🙄

You cut your cloth according to your means and am guessing you are used to a comfortable lifestyle. Single parent here living off basic income (£23k juggling two jobs no additional support). My only “ luxury” is a 14 year old car and petrol to enable me to drive for some trips out; and a pet! Hairdo once every 6-9 months. No gym. Vinted for clothes. Try and save for ( cheap) hols but continually paying off debts as a result!! I’m v lucky that I have a low mortgage . I have friends on significantly higher incomes but they pay for hugely expensive hols, cleaners, gardeners, expensive and frequent trips out and shop in expensive shops ( plus subscriptions for wine, posh coffee, lots of other things !). Also entertaining. I think that if you are used to some or any of these things increased costs ( eg car maintenance- tyres for luxury cars are soooo expensive) of living probably do make it feel a struggle compared to 4-5 years ago. No advice as I think once you are in that lifestyle it’s hard to downgrade !!!

I think it's all relative. For some that would be a huge income, for others it wouldn't cover much. It obviously depends on location and running costs.

I think I'm actually in a similar boat to OP. I wouldn't say we go without - although we haven't been on any kind of holiday for two years (other than one day in Norfolk).

My partners parents call it the working poor.
We don't drink/smoke/go out really ever so we don't need nice clothes. We food shop to plan and do meal prep to save money. I will only ever buy anything when it's on sale.

But if I want to buy branded nappies I wouldn't need to think twice about it so I know I'm fortunate.

It is NOT about saving. It IS about budgeting and prioritising - do I really NEED to buy that? What would happen if you did NOT buy it? Would it make a difference ?

So what? OP is asking for advice on her situation. By your rules no one could come here and ask advice ever for fear there is someone worse off!

After bills you still have thousands of pounds left, EVERY MONTH.
How is that a stretch?? If you had to get a new boiler (£3K) you can afford that and still have thousands coming in the month after!

Everything is relative.To some £90k is a huge amount of money, to others it is not. If you have large outgoings like a big mortgage or drive cars with expensive monthly payments you can quickly go through a decent wage, Cutting back on going out, school clubs, or food bills isn’t going to make much difference.

Average uk household income is £36,700.

If you are feeling "stretched" on 90k it's because you've overextended yourself with the mortgage or you are shit at managing a budget.

We bring in less than 90k a year for sure. Our mortgage alone is £2100 a month. It's not easy.

Who are middle earners?

90k household salary is not “middle earners”, FGS.

Right, but my point is that have absolutely no reason to feel "stretched" when you can spend the money you're spending each month.

Saying that you're "financially squeezed" when you're spending nearly £800 a month on food and sending your kid to stage school is just offensive, frankly.

lol.

if you save or invest a bit each month…my dear…you are going to be grilled down in flame.

Should you have more money to feel less pinched? Yes
Are you in anyway stretched? No

And you know it so…

Unless you've had a recent pay jump, your lifestyle will have expanded to fill whatever earnings you have. We have a HH income of several times that and we spend it all. Mind you 3 kids in private school is £90k off the bat, cleaner, dog minder, gardener, ski holidays, sun holidays, I don't know where the money goes!!

You're high earners compared to a lot of people. My brother works in a gym - and he's very good at what he does - he earns about 28k a year gross for a 33 hour week - he's been there 15 years. I'm in Scotland so it's obviously not comparable to what people earn down south - but I know few people who earn 90k between them. The upside is the cost of living is cheaper here - my brother pays around 500 pounds a month on his mortgage.

Of course a household income of 90k is high.

You can afford £100 a month on the gym, £180 a week on food and to pay for your child to do multiple expensive activities, including sending her to stage school.

You could make so many cut backs if you wanted and you still wouldn't be struggling.

I think that the main thing to consider is not how much your earn but instead how much you spend.

It is generally within your control.

Household incomes of £15k are comon.

I think I get it. I was on a slightly above average wage (below average for a household) and we had to budget and make choices. You are well off by most people's standards and the cost of living crisis hits you.

But there are people on minimum wage supporting whole families. How do they cope? What must it be like for them?

180 a week on food is a lot.