To wonder how other families get to the end of the month?

Op says there are 3 of them and there are three of us in our family.
They spend £180 a week on groceries a week and we spend a hell of a lot less.
What are your ???? For? What don’t you believe?

It really does, and often with little noticeable difference in lifestyle because you're just paying less for similar stuff by shopping around, using discount codes, cashback etc.

Plus saving up and earning interest instead of borrowing and paying interest.

Like Lancashirebutterpie shows, the difference in cost can be hundreds of pounds a month, I not more.

So fed up of these posts. Try earning 28k a year before tax with nothing left at the end of each month or money for treats/holidays/after school activities and thats supposed to be a good wage in this area....

Well done BMW6! That must feel nice. 😊.

If the £90k of gross income is a net mothly income of somewhere between £4,795 (if £90k + £0, minus 10% pension, minus tax & NI, no child benefit) and £5,560 (if £45k + £45k, minus 10% pension, minus tax & NI, plus child benefit for one child).

Of that how much goes on each of the big bills (rent/mortgage, council tax, car repayments, other fixed car costs such as insurance, electricity/gas, phone/broadband/mobile, etc)? How much then goes on other essentials and near-essentials (food, commuting costs, etc)? How much does that then leave?

Things definitely have got a lot dearer: comparing 4 years ago to now, my mortgage is 20% more each month now (same house, no extra borrowing, no shortening of repayment period), and my car payments would be 180% more if we were to replace our car with the equivalent model of car now - so things have definitely got dearer, but at the same time you're being quite light on details.

What ?? We spend at least £250 a week ( 5 of us ) it’s fairly easy and no we don’t smoke or drink

£180 food bill is rather large, we spend less than that on 3 adults

I know the answer , if you are struggling on 90k ( assuming after tax ) then you are living way above your means . I can only assume you have massive outgoing probably with big house costs and car payment costs maybe ??

We manage pretty well on much less than you op (despite living in the home counties) probably because we are very low maintenance and pretty frugal. We don't tend to spend money we don't need to spend, neither of us like fancy things or shopping. We plan our meals carefully etc. I think its a mindset thing.

Not a salary. Pension. Mortgage paid off.

My biggest monthly expense is food.

£180 a week on groceries is ridiculous. What are you buying? Champagne and caviar?
I spend about £70 a week on 3 of us and that’s still buying a fair amount in Waitrose.
Cut down on your groceries and you could save 80 to £90 a week

Well it would entirely depend on what's in the bloody basket wouldn't it!

🙄🙄🙄

OP, I suggest consulting AI instead of Mumsnet if you prefer not to talk in person with specialists. Mumsnet is a very toxic place for anyone genuinely seeking help.

OP, this is MN. If you're anywhere above the breadline, you'll be completely torn apart. And if you even think about complaining about your income, you'll be hit with phrases like "read the room," "check your privilege," and all the other clichés.

These people are like frogs that have been boiled so long they no longer feel the pain of being taken advantage of. They seem content with being poorer overall, as long as they receive a few scraps in benefits and handouts, instead of advocating for more wealth creation, lower taxes, and more efficient public spending.

Also my husband is forever switching utility company and savings accounts to get a better rate and higher interest. It does actually make a big difference.

Who are the people getting their nails and hair done, eating out, deliveroo and takeaways, coffees etc? Who can afford to throw money around like this?

Literally everyone I know!

On the contrary, OP has received lots of good advice here.

Are you joking, or do you genuinely not realise how tone deaf it is to complain about struggling on 90k while there are other families on a fraction of that amount?

Our income is about half that and we have 4 children but we don’t have a mortgage.

I spend a lot on groceries (£650 pcm) but we don’t eat out or get takeaways very often. Mainly other peoples’ birthdays or when we’re on holiday. I buy a lot of stuff in bulk which is a big hit at the time but then saves money in the long run (only stuff I know we’re going to get through)

We’re stingy with our heating and hot water.

I buy almost everything for the children and myself on vinted or in charity shops.

Our cars are both second hand cars we bought outright.

We don’t have any debt or buy anything on credit.

We still save and have holidays and I still have spare money to spend on frivolous shit like fancy skincare.

It’s probably the lack of mortgage rather than not eating out though!

@Bottleplant I’m so sorry for your loss.
You sound amazing; I think your typo of “lived” to “loved” probably sums you up.
💐

It's disposable income that counts - it might sound like a lot but high bills / high mortgage could wipe out your wage.
i struggle every month as a single mother of 3 of half of that, but to some my wage might appear high.

These kinds of posts never get any sympathy, it’s all “tiny violin” comments.
The usual advice goes along the lines of: get rid of the car and spend three hours commuting each way, loads of people do that; walk 30 miles to work, plenty manage; downsize to a one-bed flat, stop eating avocados, cancel Netflix, shop in Aldi, grow your own veg (tricky in a one-bed, but apparently everyone does that too) and so on.
Sometimes there are genuinely helpful comments, though, like going through utility providers or insurance policies

How do you save 1k per month on that salarary. Very few outgoings?

£90k is about the combined salaries of 2 senior health care professionals or two teachers. It doesn't afford a luxury lifestyle at all. I suspect that you think you are "rich" and are spending accordingly.

OP, sit down with a spreadsheet and work out exactly where the money is being spent, it's kind of concerning that you don't know this.
Some costs are unavoidable but can still be tweaked.

Things that we learned early on is that "posh" financed cars are a huge money pit. I have just bought a 5 year old BMW that I paid £14k cash for. It's beautiful and would have cost closer to £40k new. I could have afforded a much more expensive car but this one does the job.
Gym membership costs me £31 a month (including swimming), my friends is £380 a month, our exercises burn the same calories whether they are done in a council owned sports centre or a luxury gym with premier league footballers as members😄.
Food is something I don't compromise on, I buy everything fresh and cook from scratch. Even so I spend around £160 on 3 adults men, myself, a dog and a cat, so £80 a month less than you.
You really do need to get organised, make meal plans and lists for shopping. The "cherry pick" App is really good for this.
When I reviewed my finances I found I was spending around £100 a week meeting my friends in restaurants for lunch. So I switched to meeting them for coffee or just going for a walk with them instead. It's saved about £300 a month.
We have regular holidays and weekends away in nice hotels but we use sites like "secret escapes" to find a good deal.
I wouldn't say we are mean, but on a similar income to yourselves, DH and I turned our finances around and have a very comfortable sum in the bank now.
My final bit of advice would be that however hard it seems, make sure that you are saving and paying into a pension.

You can do this! You clearly work hard at your job, put the same effort into working your finances.

I don’t understand why op didn’t contextualise her post by giving us an idea of her outgoings.

Otherwise, i think it comes across as goady to post that you can’t survive on 90k when most people have far less.

There was a programme on radio 4 and it’s only about 30% are actually struggling, if we didn’t have maintenance costs or had a lower mortgage we’d potentially have an extra 1k a month to spend/save/not be in debt by. There will be plenty of people who don’t have those specific circumstances we have on the same earnings who are living life very comfortably