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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think maybe my NDN is a murderer?

462 replies

notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 10:38

Ok, I'm going to try and make this as short as possible, but at the same time, not miss any details out. Lived in our house for 30years - about 16 years ago, a family moved in next door. Mother, Father, 2 sons and 2 daughters (who all appeared to be in their mid-late 30s). 2 daughters drove and worked, 2 sons don't drive and have never worked.

Due to his future behaviour, we nicknamed one of the brothers 'Hulk' (he's also quite stocky), so to make things simple here, we have Hulk and 'Gentle' (his brother).

Incidents when my kids were young:

  1. Hulk told me he was keeping a log of when my children made noise in the house
  2. Hulk splashed bleach on my ex's car when he parked outside their house for literally a minute whilst picking the kids up
  3. Hulk shouted at my young son for knocking to ask for his football, and when I saw him and Gentle next, I had a go at him for it. Gentle was 'holding' his brother back, like he would attack me.

My other neighbours don't like them, THEIR neighbours don't like them.

Over the years though, I got in the habit of saying hello and it became friendly enough. Time passed and the father died, then the mother died, one of the sisters died. I knew all this because they either told me, or, in the case of the sister, they had a big funeral procession, the hearse was parked outside the house for a while, and Gentle told me she died from kidney disease.

ALL through this time, I only EVER saw Hulk out in the garden with Gentle, gardening. Only ever saw Gentle and his sister go to shops, or laundromat. Literally the only time I would see Hulk is if he was with his brother out in the front garden, or gardening in the back garden. None of them go out a lot, but if one of them was walking down the street, it would only ever be Gentle.

Last year my daughter and her partner had a bit of a parking dispute with our other neighbours. They are nice but a bit fussy, and they always asked my daughters partner to move his car when he came over...he never parked outside their house, but they felt like they needed 'more space' for their daughters car. So he would move it, out of courtesy. Until one day he didn't, which resulted in their daughter 'having' to park outside Hulks house (she really didn't need to, plenty of space outside her parents house) - so an argument between them two occurred. A few weeks later, Hulk had asked us about the back yard fence, and we noticed some vines coming through from his side. He denied it, so I opened my back gate to show him. My daughter was also there, as was his sister, and he was stood about a foot away from me (I couldn't back up cos our cat run was behind me). Because he kept rambling, i eventually said, anyway, I've got to get on...and he literally just stood and stared at me, no expression for about 5 seconds....after about the 5th 'I've really got to go', i managed to end the convo and get him the hell out of my yard. Me and my daughter were really weirded out by the way he just stared and ignored me.

But, during this convo, he kept bringing it round to the parking dispute - telling my daughter re our other neighbours 'don't let them dominate you' - not kidding he kept coming back to it, and he must have said this about 6 times...so weird. I mention this because his language was so strange...it was a parking dispute and a small one at that.

So after this strangeness, I realised I hadn't seen Gentle for a very long time. And once I realised it, I started noticing that now only Hulk was doing gardening, and it was only Hulk who went to shops with his sister (they ALWAYS go out together).

And then we (my kids and me) started talking about their back garden. It's not a huge garden, but they already had two sheds side by side at the back. The rest was really lovely flowers. Until Hulk razed the flowers, concreted over and put a massive shed on it. If you look into their garden from our bedroom window, that shed takes up about 70% of the space, then the two sheds at the back as well. There's literally no garden space left, so what he's keeping IN the sheds, no idea.

But where is Gentle? Shed went up after Gentle 'disappeared' because he wasn't helping like he usually would have. I liked Gentle. He would even knock on the door if he needed help with council or anything. I find his brother weird. Now you'd think if Gentle had fallen ill, Hulk would have mentioned it to me during that conversation. The family dynamic is very strange anyway, but I can't stop thinking about what happened to Gentle.

So, what do you think? My kids were saying maybe call the police - but what would I say?

YABU - probably just ill or died
YANBU - he's definitely killed his brother

OP posts:
PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 07/10/2025 21:30

GustavMunchkin · 07/10/2025 20:17

R T Full T

Why have you quoted my post THREE times saying the same thing? Are you a bot?

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 07/10/2025 21:20

Obviously I really hope you’re wrong, but I do think you’re doing the right thing reporting it. At best you’ve made an innocent mistake out of genuine concern. At worst you’re right, and the sooner someone looks into it the better. Evidence deteriorates over time.

Gagaandgag · 07/10/2025 21:20

Do you think the family have disabilities?
The sister may be non verbal

WeeGeeBored · 07/10/2025 21:18

Zempy · 07/10/2025 16:40

I hope Gentle is OK.

He might have moved out to get away from Hulk.

Imagine if the police dig up all the sheds and find absolutely nothing. I wonder if Op would get done for wasting police time.

TY78910 · 07/10/2025 20:47

Tubestrike · 07/10/2025 18:52

I asked for a welfare check on my next door neighbour and the police knocked on my door first to let me know that they were here. Sadly we found him dead.

Edited

I screamed

TY78910 · 07/10/2025 20:46

CuckooPond · 07/10/2025 10:56

So you think Hulk and his sister murdered their brother and buried his body in concrete under a shed? Or have imprisoned him in the shed?

I actually think they also killed the mother… kidney disease was the official story 👀

GustavMunchkin · 07/10/2025 20:17

PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 07/10/2025 17:38

You've never heard the back yard/garden called a back yard? That's very weird.

R T Full T

GustavMunchkin · 07/10/2025 20:10

PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 07/10/2025 17:38

You've never heard the back yard/garden called a back yard? That's very weird.

Read the full thread

GentleJadeOP · 07/10/2025 19:49

WeNeedToTalkAboutIT · 07/10/2025 17:54

Just checking, have you googled him? You wouldn't necessarily have known if he'd have passed away (or gone to prison or any other thing) but a thorough googling of his name might bring up news, death notices, court records or the like.

I don’t think she knows his full name or date of birth ( how many of us do know that info on neighbours?) so it would not be possible to check official records or google him

GentleJadeOP · 07/10/2025 19:47

Newsenmum · 07/10/2025 19:28

Here for the update!

And me!

Newsenmum · 07/10/2025 19:28

Here for the update!

EmilyBishopmyconfession · 07/10/2025 19:18

Clarinet1 · 07/10/2025 11:59

Reminds me a bit of the Wycherley case in Mansfield some years ago - very quiet elderly couple, woman in particular rarely seen and always with the husband, went missing. It turned out years later that they had been murdered and buried in the garden by the daughter and son-in-law who continued to draw pensions etc.

Not to do with the OP, but of anyone is interested there's a programme about the Wycherley murders on Channel 5 tonight, 10pm, "The Bodies Under the Patio".

Tubestrike · 07/10/2025 18:52

I asked for a welfare check on my next door neighbour and the police knocked on my door first to let me know that they were here. Sadly we found him dead.

MyKindHiker · 07/10/2025 18:50

DreamTheMoors · 07/10/2025 17:58

Like Ted Bundy.

Edited

Sorry @SilkiePenguin and @DreamTheMoors, as someone who has worked in criminal justice for many many years, 'most' murderers are very much not charming charismatic psychos like Ted Bundy. The small minority that are just make better TV and you hear about more in the news. Many of even those who are notorious like Fred West or Jeffrey Dahmer were weird smelly creeps. And most people who commit 'regular' murders (not serial killers) are lowlifes with addiction and mental health problems. I don't know the neighbours here but there's nothing about weird loner with anger problems and an unusual family set-up that strikes me as off-brand for someone capable of real harm.

GustavMunchkin · 07/10/2025 18:30

PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 07/10/2025 17:38

You've never heard the back yard/garden called a back yard? That's very weird.

Read the full thread!

Change2banon · 07/10/2025 18:24

lolarocco · 07/10/2025 13:43

why don't you order a copy of Gentle's death certificate online and see what his cause and date of death are?

He isn’t even dead! OP is assuming and made this up!

DinaofCloud9 · 07/10/2025 18:23

HerNeighbourTotoro · 07/10/2025 18:03

Another wannabe detective who thinks that just because people use an instance of American English, they must be AI. Maybe don't quit your day job to open up a detective agency just yet.
I live in the UK but use laundromat, fall, and lots of others, yet I am not AI. Mind blown?

Edited

Are you American then as British people don't say fall or laundromat?

Daygloboo · 07/10/2025 18:18

MungoforPresident · 07/10/2025 18:14

British literary editor here.

In British English, 'yard' has always been in use to refer to the rear, hard-surface area (usually just patio flagstones or concrete) without soft landscaping. Therefore, we don't call it a garden.

Commonly, British people, north or south, use yard in the absence of flower beds and grass, most prevalent in instances where the properties are red-brick terraced houses of Victorian or Edwardian age.

'Back yard' is reasonably common; these small yards are most prevalent at the rear of terraces, although front yards are also common in many terraced areas without greenery.

In your front yard, you'd expect the hatch and chute for the coal delivery, possibly also a boot scraper, and the area's bordered by a red-brick low wall, while in the back yard, we'd find the outdoor WC (the lav/loo!) or communal WC. These are the houses where a passageway runs along the back.

Laundromat is in common usage among British people who watch American films or series! Or, of course, who read US English books.

Language is dynamic, constantly in a state of change, so now, we have many American words in our common use. Just as many people say 'movie' as 'film.' I see lots of Americanisms on mumsnet every day. Not only is language creeping across, but we also have baby showers and proms!

I would have put good money on that we dont say ' laundromat' . I dont think I've ever heard a single person say that.

DreamTheMoors · 07/10/2025 18:14

HerNeighbourTotoro · 07/10/2025 18:03

Another wannabe detective who thinks that just because people use an instance of American English, they must be AI. Maybe don't quit your day job to open up a detective agency just yet.
I live in the UK but use laundromat, fall, and lots of others, yet I am not AI. Mind blown?

Edited

😂😂😂

Their mind is definitely big blown but since their ego is big blown resulting in them being big mad — it’s doubtful you’ll hear from them again.

I thought it was absolutely perfect 10/10 no notes.

Love, an American who has started spelling everything the British way thanks to my neighbours here on Mumsnet.

MungoforPresident · 07/10/2025 18:14

British literary editor here.

In British English, 'yard' has always been in use to refer to the rear, hard-surface area (usually just patio flagstones or concrete) without soft landscaping. Therefore, we don't call it a garden.

Commonly, British people, north or south, use yard in the absence of flower beds and grass, most prevalent in instances where the properties are red-brick terraced houses of Victorian or Edwardian age.

'Back yard' is reasonably common; these small yards are most prevalent at the rear of terraces, although front yards are also common in many terraced areas without greenery.

In your front yard, you'd expect the hatch and chute for the coal delivery, possibly also a boot scraper, and the area's bordered by a red-brick low wall, while in the back yard, we'd find the outdoor WC (the lav/loo!) or communal WC. These are the houses where a passageway runs along the back.

Laundromat is in common usage among British people who watch American films or series! Or, of course, who read US English books.

Language is dynamic, constantly in a state of change, so now, we have many American words in our common use. Just as many people say 'movie' as 'film.' I see lots of Americanisms on mumsnet every day. Not only is language creeping across, but we also have baby showers and proms!

Mymanyellow · 07/10/2025 18:13

CharlieKirkRIP · 07/10/2025 16:54

Mental image of Hulk and his sister.

Oh that me snort. 🤣🤣

Orpheya · 07/10/2025 18:08

Now you made us curious....waiting for the update of the police eventual action

Xevebabe · 07/10/2025 18:06

Absolutely not a placemark 🫣

AutumnMorning · 07/10/2025 18:06

What a catching Title OP and a great way to get everyone arguing.
Done with it here its an absolute circus 🙄

HerNeighbourTotoro · 07/10/2025 18:03

Invinoveritaz · 07/10/2025 14:37

I’m getting some AI vibes from this.
Are you in the US? I don’t know anyone from uk who says ‘laundromat’ and only northerners refer to back yards

Another wannabe detective who thinks that just because people use an instance of American English, they must be AI. Maybe don't quit your day job to open up a detective agency just yet.
I live in the UK but use laundromat, fall, and lots of others, yet I am not AI. Mind blown?