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Original poster

To think maybe my NDN is a murderer?

462 replies

notanoccultexpert · 07/10/2025 10:38

Ok, I'm going to try and make this as short as possible, but at the same time, not miss any details out. Lived in our house for 30years - about 16 years ago, a family moved in next door. Mother, Father, 2 sons and 2 daughters (who all appeared to be in their mid-late 30s). 2 daughters drove and worked, 2 sons don't drive and have never worked.

Due to his future behaviour, we nicknamed one of the brothers 'Hulk' (he's also quite stocky), so to make things simple here, we have Hulk and 'Gentle' (his brother).

Incidents when my kids were young:

  1. Hulk told me he was keeping a log of when my children made noise in the house
  2. Hulk splashed bleach on my ex's car when he parked outside their house for literally a minute whilst picking the kids up
  3. Hulk shouted at my young son for knocking to ask for his football, and when I saw him and Gentle next, I had a go at him for it. Gentle was 'holding' his brother back, like he would attack me.

My other neighbours don't like them, THEIR neighbours don't like them.

Over the years though, I got in the habit of saying hello and it became friendly enough. Time passed and the father died, then the mother died, one of the sisters died. I knew all this because they either told me, or, in the case of the sister, they had a big funeral procession, the hearse was parked outside the house for a while, and Gentle told me she died from kidney disease.

ALL through this time, I only EVER saw Hulk out in the garden with Gentle, gardening. Only ever saw Gentle and his sister go to shops, or laundromat. Literally the only time I would see Hulk is if he was with his brother out in the front garden, or gardening in the back garden. None of them go out a lot, but if one of them was walking down the street, it would only ever be Gentle.

Last year my daughter and her partner had a bit of a parking dispute with our other neighbours. They are nice but a bit fussy, and they always asked my daughters partner to move his car when he came over...he never parked outside their house, but they felt like they needed 'more space' for their daughters car. So he would move it, out of courtesy. Until one day he didn't, which resulted in their daughter 'having' to park outside Hulks house (she really didn't need to, plenty of space outside her parents house) - so an argument between them two occurred. A few weeks later, Hulk had asked us about the back yard fence, and we noticed some vines coming through from his side. He denied it, so I opened my back gate to show him. My daughter was also there, as was his sister, and he was stood about a foot away from me (I couldn't back up cos our cat run was behind me). Because he kept rambling, i eventually said, anyway, I've got to get on...and he literally just stood and stared at me, no expression for about 5 seconds....after about the 5th 'I've really got to go', i managed to end the convo and get him the hell out of my yard. Me and my daughter were really weirded out by the way he just stared and ignored me.

But, during this convo, he kept bringing it round to the parking dispute - telling my daughter re our other neighbours 'don't let them dominate you' - not kidding he kept coming back to it, and he must have said this about 6 times...so weird. I mention this because his language was so strange...it was a parking dispute and a small one at that.

So after this strangeness, I realised I hadn't seen Gentle for a very long time. And once I realised it, I started noticing that now only Hulk was doing gardening, and it was only Hulk who went to shops with his sister (they ALWAYS go out together).

And then we (my kids and me) started talking about their back garden. It's not a huge garden, but they already had two sheds side by side at the back. The rest was really lovely flowers. Until Hulk razed the flowers, concreted over and put a massive shed on it. If you look into their garden from our bedroom window, that shed takes up about 70% of the space, then the two sheds at the back as well. There's literally no garden space left, so what he's keeping IN the sheds, no idea.

But where is Gentle? Shed went up after Gentle 'disappeared' because he wasn't helping like he usually would have. I liked Gentle. He would even knock on the door if he needed help with council or anything. I find his brother weird. Now you'd think if Gentle had fallen ill, Hulk would have mentioned it to me during that conversation. The family dynamic is very strange anyway, but I can't stop thinking about what happened to Gentle.

So, what do you think? My kids were saying maybe call the police - but what would I say?

YABU - probably just ill or died
YANBU - he's definitely killed his brother

OP posts:
NotMyKidsThough · 08/10/2025 12:50

Some people just ARE odd, or neuro-divergent, or whatever the current Phrase Of The Week is. But your story reminded me of something that happened to me and a girlfriend a long time ago near Southampton. Out late and the car started overheating. It was about quarter to one and gone, and no garages open or AA membership or anything like that at our age. We needed water as the temperature guage was deep in the red and saw only one house had a light on, so in the best Hammer Horror tradition we knocked on the door (cue "Say, isn't that a light at the Frankenstein place?")
Door opens and a creepy middle aged man opens it. Fully dressed, but one of those people who smell. Not of anything offensive, but he seemed greasy and that's what he smelled like. There was a hall light on and with the front door open we could hear half a conversation and a woman crying.
Given this was early 1980s there was no TV on at that time of night and in any case, you can tell the difference between hearing someone on TV and a real person in a room.
Being 18ish we couldn't say "Excuse me, but why is that woman crying?"
We never saw her and he offered no explanation. We got some water for the car, put it in and drove away.
But it's always bothered me. What if, what if...?
There are Fred and Rose Wests in real life.

Call 101. It's anonymous. Let the police do what they're paid to do.
Otherwise like me, you'll still be wondering in 40 years time.

GentleJadeOP · 08/10/2025 12:27

Op- please ignore the haters and trolls. They are looking for attention. You have done a sensible thing in reporting your valid concerns to the Police. We need more people like you in the world. Hopefully all is ok

AutumnMorning · 08/10/2025 12:06

GustavMunchkin · 08/10/2025 11:38

Wow that’s a v different portrait you’re now painting @notanoccultexpert.

You let a whole thread interpret this family as having specific vulnerabilities that they’ve used to agree with you to justify their agreement that a welfare check is warranted.

And now you realise how reductive & harmful your implications of the protagonists in your little story are . Where the bad learning disabled brother is called Hulk & the good learning disabled brother Gentle. Where the bad learning disabled killed poor innocent good learning disabled Gentle. And buried him under a shed.

No you didn’t say he was “evil” but your title of your thread & assumption that he murdered him doesn’t exactly imply otherwise does it?

You didn’t call it “I haven’t seen my neighbour in some time & I’m worried about them”.

And had zero awareness of how behaviours like staring, social communication differences & what you might see as unusual behaviour, can only too often describe a person with additional needs or disabilities.

Hope if nothing else, your ignorance & stigmatising assumptions have been challenged by this thread & hopefully re-evaluated.

Very well said!!

ninjahamster · 08/10/2025 11:59

You’ve done the right thing. It is part of bringing a responsible member of society to look out for one another.
We had a neighbour who very much kept herself to herself. We would see her occasionally walk to the shop or go out in a taxi and also tending her front garden,
One day my ndn realised her garden was a bit overgrown and that was unusual. He called round and got no answer so let the police know.
Sadly she had taken her own life. But if my neighbour hadn’t alerted the police, her body could have laid there a lot longer.

notatinydancer · 08/10/2025 11:56

strawberry12345 · 07/10/2025 11:24

Can you search for a death certificate online?

Not if he’s been murdered, which is what she’s asking.

Smidge001 · 08/10/2025 11:55

Deleted - ( duplicate post by mistake).

Smidge001 · 08/10/2025 11:55

notanoccultexpert · 08/10/2025 11:43

Its not a different portrait at all, in fact, if you re-read that post you're on about, I said I NEVER said they had learning difficulties.

Show quote history

I wonder if some people have incorrectly thought the ND in your title meant neuro diverse instead of Next-door .

I'm with you OP - you never once said or suggested anyone in the family had any learning difficulties.

SorcererGaheris · 08/10/2025 11:50

GustavMunchkin · 08/10/2025 11:38

Wow that’s a v different portrait you’re now painting @notanoccultexpert.

You let a whole thread interpret this family as having specific vulnerabilities that they’ve used to agree with you to justify their agreement that a welfare check is warranted.

And now you realise how reductive & harmful your implications of the protagonists in your little story are . Where the bad learning disabled brother is called Hulk & the good learning disabled brother Gentle. Where the bad learning disabled killed poor innocent good learning disabled Gentle. And buried him under a shed.

No you didn’t say he was “evil” but your title of your thread & assumption that he murdered him doesn’t exactly imply otherwise does it?

You didn’t call it “I haven’t seen my neighbour in some time & I’m worried about them”.

And had zero awareness of how behaviours like staring, social communication differences & what you might see as unusual behaviour, can only too often describe a person with additional needs or disabilities.

Hope if nothing else, your ignorance & stigmatising assumptions have been challenged by this thread & hopefully re-evaluated.

@GustavMunchkin

I think this is a little harsh. Like the OP pointed out, she never made the claim herself that the family had any learning difficulties. That was an assumption made by other people in this thread, and it doesn't seem fair to blame the OP for the incorrect assumptions made by other people. (Reasonable though the assumptions might have been.)

Maybe it would have been better for her to have said something earlier about having no reason to think that the family had any learning difficulties or neurodiversity. But I think it's a stretch to say that she made such implications about them in her earlier posts. She described them as she perceived them, but never suggested it had anything to do with disabilities. If that's what others extrapolated, then that's on them, not the OP.

SoPunkontheInternet · 08/10/2025 11:48

Mymanyellow · 07/10/2025 10:52

I think if he had died I think you would have seen the funeral or the other neighbours would have heard something,these things do get round. But it’s still a leap to say he’s murdered his brother.

Not if he’s buried under the shed 😬

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 08/10/2025 11:47

The problem is that people don’t read the Ops posts and then run with a scenario in their heads.

(this happens on a lot of threads, not just this one)

Also, a lot of people are unable to see any point of view other than their own hence ‘well you’re so nosy, you are an aspiring fiction writer, you’re a nasty neighbour so here is another completely different scenario you remind me of which has no similarity to your situation, I’m glad you’re not my neighbour, mind your own business’ style of posts.

It is absolutely fine to say ‘I think you’re overreacting but if you want to report it then feel it’s now in the police’s hands then do it’, people don’t have to be so strident.

Personally, I’m glad you’ve reported it and hopefully you hear nothing more about it which means whatever has happened is explainable and/or not a crime.

Original poster
notanoccultexpert · 08/10/2025 11:43

GustavMunchkin · 08/10/2025 11:38

Wow that’s a v different portrait you’re now painting @notanoccultexpert.

You let a whole thread interpret this family as having specific vulnerabilities that they’ve used to agree with you to justify their agreement that a welfare check is warranted.

And now you realise how reductive & harmful your implications of the protagonists in your little story are . Where the bad learning disabled brother is called Hulk & the good learning disabled brother Gentle. Where the bad learning disabled killed poor innocent good learning disabled Gentle. And buried him under a shed.

No you didn’t say he was “evil” but your title of your thread & assumption that he murdered him doesn’t exactly imply otherwise does it?

You didn’t call it “I haven’t seen my neighbour in some time & I’m worried about them”.

And had zero awareness of how behaviours like staring, social communication differences & what you might see as unusual behaviour, can only too often describe a person with additional needs or disabilities.

Hope if nothing else, your ignorance & stigmatising assumptions have been challenged by this thread & hopefully re-evaluated.

Its not a different portrait at all, in fact, if you re-read that post you're on about, I said I NEVER said they had learning difficulties.

OP posts:
GustavMunchkin · 08/10/2025 11:38

Wow that’s a v different portrait you’re now painting @notanoccultexpert.

You let a whole thread interpret this family as having specific vulnerabilities that they’ve used to agree with you to justify their agreement that a welfare check is warranted.

And now you realise how reductive & harmful your implications of the protagonists in your little story are . Where the bad learning disabled brother is called Hulk & the good learning disabled brother Gentle. Where the bad learning disabled killed poor innocent good learning disabled Gentle. And buried him under a shed.

No you didn’t say he was “evil” but your title of your thread & assumption that he murdered him doesn’t exactly imply otherwise does it?

You didn’t call it “I haven’t seen my neighbour in some time & I’m worried about them”.

And had zero awareness of how behaviours like staring, social communication differences & what you might see as unusual behaviour, can only too often describe a person with additional needs or disabilities.

Hope if nothing else, your ignorance & stigmatising assumptions have been challenged by this thread & hopefully re-evaluated.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 08/10/2025 11:35

SilkiePenguin · 08/10/2025 03:52

An example of impact of innocent people being falsely accused for those with zero empathy.

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/innocent-couple-branded-fred-rose-24624044#google_vignette

That is a story of ex good friends who fell out, one then starting a very personal attack on the other couple via writing notes, with no evidence whatsoever of the things she was accusing them of, she had been spoken to previously about this and had stopped, then restarted earlier this year.

This thread is about a very different situation.

BetterOffNow · 08/10/2025 11:31

You're getting such a hard time here @notanoccultexpert! You don't have to justify why you were concerned, the fact that you were and you've done something about it makes you a caring person.
I'd rather you were my neighbour than half the posters on here!
Hopefully it's an easily explained outcome...

Original poster
notanoccultexpert · 08/10/2025 11:30

GustavMunchkin · 08/10/2025 11:24

Did you assume they’d been murdered though?

Show quote history

I've already said twice now, that I regret the flippant way I titled this and the poll. I am thinking it's more likely, given what people have said, that he is either very ill or died a natural death, but might be still in the home.

OP posts:
Original poster
notanoccultexpert · 08/10/2025 11:27

WeeGeeBored · 08/10/2025 11:20

The final thing I want to say is that initially you told us your suspicions were aroused by the building of a new shed, yet in this post you reveal new information that the shed building is part of a much bigger renovation project. That makes a difference to their reasons for erecting a new shed.

Show quote history

no, my suspicions were aroused when I realised how long it had been since i had seen the brother (after the conversation). THEN, we realised about the shed too. You're wrong anyway, nowhere did I say this was all done in one go....this is since his parents died, so maybe over the course of 10 years or something

OP posts:
Original poster
notanoccultexpert · 08/10/2025 11:26

WeeGeeBored · 08/10/2025 11:16

yeah but if he has murdered him he could just say that the brother moved out and he doesn't know where to. The whole exercise is pointless.

You say you work from home. Are you a writer? Are you allowing your imagination to impact on the way you perceive reality?

Show quote history

well, someone said yesterday that the police will want to know where he has moved to if thats the case, so they can ascertain he is fine.

No I'm not a writer, I would think my piss poor attempt at structuring the OP would have alleviated anyone of that idea.

OP posts:
GustavMunchkin · 08/10/2025 11:24

Onegingerhead · 08/10/2025 11:22

People do notice things and you don’t have to be particularly nosey or bored to pick up on what’s going on around you. And honestly, I don’t think the OP was wrong to request a welfare check. It’s perfectly normal to jump to conclusions in such cases.
For example, for a few years I used to see district nurses and carers regularly visiting one of my neighbours. About one ambulance a month, on average. Then one day a skip appeared, and a man in his 40s with a teenage boy were clearing the house into it. No nurses, no ambulances since. It’s fairly obvious what happened.
People notice things…

Did you assume they’d been murdered though?

Onegingerhead · 08/10/2025 11:22

People do notice things and you don’t have to be particularly nosey or bored to pick up on what’s going on around you. And honestly, I don’t think the OP was wrong to request a welfare check. It’s perfectly normal to jump to conclusions in such cases.
For example, for a few years I used to see district nurses and carers regularly visiting one of my neighbours. About one ambulance a month, on average. Then one day a skip appeared, and a man in his 40s with a teenage boy were clearing the house into it. No nurses, no ambulances since. It’s fairly obvious what happened.
People notice things…

WeeGeeBored · 08/10/2025 11:20

notanoccultexpert · 08/10/2025 10:44

No updates as of yet, but just wanted to point out something...I have never said they had learning difficulties or that they were ND. Someone seems to have mentioned it at some point, and now I think it's being taken as a given.

Based on my interactions with them, I have never thought they have learning difficulties. The sisters worked and drive cars. Since being here, they have had their front garden repaved, pillars put up near their front door, roof done, back yard concreted (did that himself), sheds built....there's nothing to suggest they have issues in that sense.

Also, to the people who are accusing me of not having a life - 16 years they have been here. I would argue that if you work from home, in front of the window, it would be strange NOT to notice certain routines of the people around your house.

And to the people who have called me judgemental - stop acting like you don't judge people...everyone does, it's literally how we assess threats, etc.

Also, Strange/weird isn't synonymous with 'bad/evil' - but some people are weird/strange. I think I'm pretty weird tbh :/

The final thing I want to say is that initially you told us your suspicions were aroused by the building of a new shed, yet in this post you reveal new information that the shed building is part of a much bigger renovation project. That makes a difference to their reasons for erecting a new shed.

WeeGeeBored · 08/10/2025 11:16

notanoccultexpert · 08/10/2025 11:13

exactly...as i pointed out yesterday, hopefully I won't hear anything else. The only way I would notice/hear about something is if something terrible really has happened (i.e., if i see ambulences, police on the street), so let's hope this is the end of it for me

Show quote history

yeah but if he has murdered him he could just say that the brother moved out and he doesn't know where to. The whole exercise is pointless.

You say you work from home. Are you a writer? Are you allowing your imagination to impact on the way you perceive reality?

WeeGeeBored · 08/10/2025 11:13

theDudesmummy · 08/10/2025 00:34

Do you really think anyone would construe that reporting concern about a potentially vulnerable person as "wasting police time"? That is a serious misunderstanding of safeguarding principles and the role of the police.

Well, there is no reason for her to believe the Gentle brother has been "offed" other than that he doesn't live there anymore and Hulk built another shed (if he did murder him why didn't he use the original shed or is it too full of dead bodies?)

Original poster
notanoccultexpert · 08/10/2025 11:13

WeeGeeBored · 08/10/2025 11:10

Even after the welfare check you will be none the wiser surely. The police have no obligation to give you an update. If they do isn't that a breach of data protection?

Show quote history

exactly...as i pointed out yesterday, hopefully I won't hear anything else. The only way I would notice/hear about something is if something terrible really has happened (i.e., if i see ambulences, police on the street), so let's hope this is the end of it for me

OP posts:
WeeGeeBored · 08/10/2025 11:10

notanoccultexpert · 08/10/2025 10:50

yesterday

Show quote history

Even after the welfare check you will be none the wiser surely. The police have no obligation to give you an update. If they do isn't that a breach of data protection?

Gymnopediegivesmethewillies · 08/10/2025 10:53

I don’t understand the hard time you are getting on here @notanoccultexpert . I think you have a valid concern and I hope the police get to the bottom of it.