To think maybe my NDN is a murderer?

@GustavMunchkin

I still think it's inaccurate and unfair to say that the OP "implied it". That would mean that she suggested learning difficulties/neurodiversity of some kind without explicitly saying those words.

I don't think her posts suggested learning difficulties or neurodiversity. If other people read them that way, then that's on them and their (mis)interpretations.

I did initially consider that there MIGHT be some kind of neurodiversity involved, BUT, I also acknowledge that the OP didn't imply this herself in her posts.

I think the inferences of some sort of vulnerabilities come from the fact that one of the brothers has interacted in a challenging way to the point of the OP feeling intimidated, and most people don't behave like that over minor issues without some underlying reason. Plus the disappearance of the other brother.

I actually think it's progress that people are commenting from a more empathetic perspective rather than going the torch and pitchfork route.

As others have said, a welfare check will do no harm, and may in fact be productive.

It is a great shame that society has become so atomised that tragedies do happen and fly under the radar because "none of my business" even in the face of red flag bunting. There's a vast difference between unobtrusive concern and being a busy body.

@PlanetMayou clearly cannot see the link between what the OP said & described about her neighbours’ behaviour & the fact & it is a fact, that some (not all) other posters agreed a welfare check would be advisable b’cos they could be vulnerable & have a learning disability or possible ND.

Inferences they made based on her descriptions of their behaviour & how that reads.

It wasn’t as you seem to want to think, people thought her title contained letters NDN & misunderstood them to mean NeuroDiversity or a Neuro Developmental condition.

I’m not going to read the thread for you but literally by page 2 these inferences start coming.

So no, the OP never stated it & I’ve already acknowledged that. More than once. But she highly implied it.

And ultimately apologised for it. Ok? Got it now?

@notanoccultexpert might never find out?

Posters agreed a welfare check was advisable because of bizarre and creepy and quite intimidating behaviour from one man, and a man who lived with him suddenly disappearing when he was frequently seen in his garden or in public previously, and the fact that the second man hasn’t now been seen in months. At the same time the first man with the very bizarre and intimidating behaviour has concreted over part of his garden and erected a shed (when he already had two others) which apparently he is never seen using for any purpose at all.

At no point in her description to the OP mention learning disabilities or imply that these people have learning disabilities. Please quote the posts where you think she did so if you still wish to claim that she did.

You have fabricated these things and pretended they were implied by her description due to your own prejudices and stereotypes. All she described was a really weird man behaving in an unhinged manner, and another man who lived with him - who seemed quite private but kind and gentle - having suddenly vanished and that she is concerned about him. If you decided this meant they had learning difficulties then that is entirely your own prejudices manifesting themselves. There may be myriad reasons for this which have nothing to do with learning disabilities so it’s a very odd assumption to make without any evidence of this. I’d argue such an assumption is actually ableist on your part.

“Nuance” doesn’t mean “inventing things that other people haven’t said, then having a go at them pretending that they’ve said the things you invented in your own head”.

What happened now OP? Still reading on here?

No I never misinterpreted her abbreviation of NDN nor have I ever said she literally stated the family were vulnerable. She heavily implied it by her description, hence the majority response of posters agreeing that a welfare check was advisable.

Yes she did later clarify she never intended nor expressly said that Hulk has a learning disability, but took some time before she was able to see that her characterisation of a Hulk coupled with her description of him & his family, played into unhelpful & damaging stereotypes that disabled people have to fight daily. Like 1) He is a “Hulk” & 2) therefore a “murderer”.

Hence why other posters made (what they thought were humorous) comments that her description of Hulk reminds them, of Katie Price’s son. Which they rightly retracted & apologised for.
Maybe RTFull Thread? And apply some nuance.

Indeed!

Almost funny this poster mocking others about this when they had misunderstood the acronyms entirely themself.

No wonder there are so many crazy responses on many threads if some people don’t even understand the posts they’re responding to and instead are assuming they mean something different that they’ve invented. Why not simply ask what an acronym means the first time they see it, if they’re are not familiar with it?

She didn’t say anybody had learning disabilities. Another poster invented this.

@WeeGeeBored

Thank you. I hope I didn't come across as harsh, I wasn't trying to come down on you. I just thought that some people might direct blame at the OP, which wouldn't have been fair.

Nope! Next Door Neighbour, and Neuro Diverse. I think you have misunderstood an awful lot of posts on here.

Thanks

My bad. I own it. It was a throwaway remark that wasn’t thought through. You don’t all need to know every thing that crosses my mind. Apologies for any offence.

I thought I had but just seen it’s been deleted.

I think you’ve done the right thing op.

When I was a child our NDN died and was in the house for a long time before being discovered. Her and her DH had always been reclusive and unpleasant to everyone, so nobody noticed or cared when they hadn’t seen her for a long time. Her DH had always been horrible to us kids, and we were scared of him. We rarely saw her. After he died, I think she just locked herself in and faded away. I think it was the milkman or postman who noticed in the end. Very sad really.

I’m certain it’s next door neighbour too

@GustavMunchkin

It's not okay, but the person to take that up with is @WeeGeeBored.

It's not the OP's fault that other people are making comparisons/jumping to conclusions, ESPECIALLY since she has now clarified at least a couple of times that she does not consider the family to have any disabilities.

Hi @GustavMunchkin , I would ask @WeeGeeBored as he is the one drawing images in his head of someone's son who is a vulnerable adult and should not be used as a comparison for his posts.

Ok so the family aren’t vulnerable but the characterisation of this man OP calls Hulk is being compared to a man with significant learning & developmental disabilities.
And this is ok??

@notanoccultexpert ignore all the negative and frankly sometimes weird comments to you. There are some Posters on here that I can only thank God that I do not live near to or at least not know that I do live near to. Some of their responses to your post(s) are off the scale and don't stop caring because of them.

Different scenario. OP was correct to have concerns and report them. Also you do not have to be a writer, to be nosey, weird or any other negative, to have suspicions/concerns about what may be happening/have happend in a next door property. A lot of people are creatures of habits and if those habits suddenly change, there is nothing wrong in wondering if anything has happened. If someone you normally see suddenly is no longer present and you have not seen them for some time, nor seen them getting into a taxi with a suitcase, nor seen an Ambulance arrive and depart with them of course you may wonder what has happened. If the other brother seemed approachable to you, then you may well ask after the other brother, but if you are wary of them then it is perfectly reasonable to be reticent in asking about the "missing/unseen brother for some time". I would rather have a caring neighbour than the ones I have as I could be laid dead in here with my cats and dogs and they would not notice. Keep on caring OP.

Neurodiversity does not imply learning difficulties!

I agree. The OP has requested a welfare check, nothing else. If all is well there is no harm done. It's not like she's spreading wild rumours and starting a hate campaign in her neighbourhood. This man had to be "held back" by his brother over a minor parking incident with a neighbour. If he is a violent man, then her actions may lead to support for the remaining members of family.

I worked in social care, involved in going into peoples homes, assessing and working with families.
This family seem quite typical of the kind I would meet.
They are isolated( by choice) ,from society for whatever reason; they are more comfortable just being with each other,that's their norm.
Their behaviour seems odd to others.
Most likely gentle is unable to get out any more, either through heslth or disability.
The sheds ,in my guess, are likely to hold all of the overspill clutter they have hoarded over the years in the house.
Wouldn t do any harm to reffer to social services for a welfare check.
These people are unlikely to recognise they need help,let alone ask for it.