DD’s dad’s partner at my child’s autism assessment

She is a relative stranger to the OP.

Wow, that’s really incredibly nasty and fanciful isn’t it. She’s done as much parenting as OP has done for years, possibly nearly all of this girl’s life. She does more day to day parenting than the dad. Even from OP’s very biased version the step mum is involved, invested, insightful, supportive, loving and the daughter wants her at school events. She sounds a lot nicer than the chippy OP, and you.

Just allow it for now. I suspect she won’t have time for your dd when she’s diagnosed and she has her own child. Might even try to renege on 50/50 when she realises how difficult parenting a child with SEN is.

I'm saying not everywhere is the same. The care and upbringing of children are still often seen as a primary responsibility of the wife in other places, unlike in Britain.

For instance a 'proper woman' in African tradition has always been imagined within the context of the family; she is expected to accept marriage and have children because marriage is assumed to be the end goal. For instance in this context a 'proper' African woman is not concerned about trees and the environment; rather she is supposed to be concerned about her family and children. If she were to be concerned about trees, it would be in terms of firewood which she needs to provide fuel for her kitchen.

It seems that some of us have made the grave mistake of thinking that Africa is a large and diverse continent with women and men with a wide range of beliefs and goals in life when actually, @Allthatshines1992 has met every woman in Africa and knows they all think the same and prize child-rearing above all other occupations.

It's OK, you can come and join me in the toad pond while you think about what you've done.

Why should she go to assessments, parents evenings, sports days, be there for Christmas etc. and all whilst making out in a shit mum

This is something else I don’t like tbh. She is always going to separate school appointments with DD dad. DD dad said from the start he wanted separate appointments for everything. So I just had to accept it.

also people trying to make out in jealous. I’m engaged to my fiance and have been for 3 years. So it’s not jealousy. he doesn’t come to parents evenings or anything with me coz he understands it’s not his kid

Partner is involved. He will watch dd if I’m working etc. but he understands that she has a dad and doesn’t intrude on stuff.

we’ve had arguments in the past because she has inserted herself into sports days because they’ve trained dd to say she wants her there

Oh I will always be there to support her in whatever she does, unconditionally. I will nurture and accept her because I love her more than anyone or anything.

Why should she go to assessments, parents evenings, sports days, be there for Christmas etc. and all whilst making out in a shit mum

You have a masters degree and believe that

A) that the best thing to do in the event of marital breakdown is flee the country

and

B) a woman belongs at home because her true purpose in life is motherhood and men cannot hold comparable responsibility for their own children

Jesus is weeping. What a waste of an education.

I have a Master's degree, what is this nonsense you're spewing?

Well I'm really quite shocked, wasting time at University when all you needed was your MRS so you could focus on your true purpose as a broodmare. How very careless of you. Your husband must be very liberal to have allowed it.

I have a Master's degree, what is this nonsense you're spewing?

You see that's what I thought when you said it, but you seemed very confident. I suppose stupidity often is loud, confident and wrong.

What a stupid comment.

Although I do question whether anthropology is a suitable occupation for a wife and mother. Surely reading and other study of complicated things should be left to men, with their bigger brains, to avoid overloading our delicate constitutions. I hear knitting and gardening are popular occupations in Gilead with tradwives.

Well, I thought I did, but I wasn't aware that every woman in Africa had identical minds and though patterns, so I have learned something new today. Does that only apply to black women in Africa, or do the white women in Africa also fit into this single demographic bracket?

Tell me you know nothing of anthropology without telling me you know nothing of anthropology...

Tell me you know nothing of anthropology without telling me you know nothing of anthropology...

It seems that some of us have made the grave mistake of thinking that Africa is a large and diverse continent with women and men with a wide range of beliefs and goals in life when actually, @Allthatshines1992 has met every woman in Africa and knows they all think the same and prize child-rearing above all other occupations.

It's OK, you can come and join me in the toad pond while you think about what you've done.