Page 6 | Murder

booksnbaking · 07/10/2025 13:20

BrucesBarAndGrill · 07/10/2025 13:14

Ah never mind, other sources are telling me it'd be about 10 minutes so goodness knows, and I don't have the space to keep pigs and find out.

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That sounds like you have the body all ready to go, but not the space ...

Ilovecakey · 07/10/2025 13:19

Laiste · 07/10/2025 09:47

Finely ground glass, when ingested, is supposed to be undetectable isn't it?

Put it in a sandwich ?

Although i wouldn't know how to go about grinding glass .... decent pestle and mortar, gloves, goggles and a lot of patience i guess?

Would glass kill someone?

BrucesBarAndGrill · 07/10/2025 13:14

BrucesBarAndGrill · 07/10/2025 13:12

Based on an average sized man and the standard amount a fully grown pig would eat in a day it'd take just over 5 days for 1 pig to eat 1 man. So you'd probably need a few pigs and to skimp on their food for a couple of days first I guess.

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Ah never mind, other sources are telling me it'd be about 10 minutes so goodness knows, and I don't have the space to keep pigs and find out.

BrucesBarAndGrill · 07/10/2025 13:12

booksnbaking · 07/10/2025 08:23

We've all seen the films where a herd of pigs scoffs down a baddie quick smart, but how long would a single porker take to eat a human? I think you're gonna need a bigger pigsty.

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Based on an average sized man and the standard amount a fully grown pig would eat in a day it'd take just over 5 days for 1 pig to eat 1 man. So you'd probably need a few pigs and to skimp on their food for a couple of days first I guess.

Laiste · 07/10/2025 13:06

sashh · 07/10/2025 09:48

Nah.

Coffee grinder.

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🤣

Not sure i'd get the perfect fine dust needed 🧐

booksnbaking · 07/10/2025 13:00

AgentPidge · 07/10/2025 12:56

I haven't RTFT so apologies if it's been mentioned, but Roald Dahl had the perfect murder in one of his short stories. IIRC woman gets a leg of pork out of the freezer and bashes her DH over the head with it. Puts it in the oven. Goes to the butcher and has a chat, buys a leg of pork. Goes home, puts it in the freezer. Calls the police. They turn up and she tells them she's cone home and found him. Then his dinner is ready, shame to let it go to waste, roast pork, anyone?!

Lamb. I love that story 😋

Edit: waves at ChikinLikin

AgentPidge · 07/10/2025 12:56

I haven't RTFT so apologies if it's been mentioned, but Roald Dahl had the perfect murder in one of his short stories. IIRC woman gets a leg of pork out of the freezer and bashes her DH over the head with it. Puts it in the oven. Goes to the butcher and has a chat, buys a leg of pork. Goes home, puts it in the freezer. Calls the police. They turn up and she tells them she's cone home and found him. Then his dinner is ready, shame to let it go to waste, roast pork, anyone?!

Onegingerhead · 07/10/2025 12:53

booksnbaking · 07/10/2025 08:23

We've all seen the films where a herd of pigs scoffs down a baddie quick smart, but how long would a single porker take to eat a human? I think you're gonna need a bigger pigsty.

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When I was about six, my grandad took me to his friend’s farm and I still remember him telling me very firmly not to get too close to the pigs, apparently, I’d be “gone in a few hours”. He actually knew of a real case where that happened. And honestly, have you seen the size of those beasts? I can completely believe they could chomp through a human in no time and leave nothing behind after a couple of days.
As for the murder bit, after what happened to Sarah Everard and how quickly Wayne Couzens was caught, I really don’t think anyone could get away with murder that easily these days. Not in a developed country, anyway

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 07/10/2025 12:52

Frankblackwife · 07/10/2025 06:49

Do you think you could get away with it?

It depends entirely on who you're trying to murder really doesn't it.

Someone you know, who you actually have motivation to kill? Really difficult.

A random person you've never met, who lives in a completely different city, and you have absolutely no links to? Trivially easy.

ChikinLikin · 07/10/2025 12:49

An icicle or a frozen leg of lamb that you then roast and eat.

jonthebatiste · 07/10/2025 12:33

A crappy novel read in my teens left me with the knowledge that an icicle is the perfect murder weapon. Sadly, I live in a sub-tropical climate.

Cara707 · 07/10/2025 12:33

I wouldn't want to. I couldn't cope with the weight of it, I don't want to kill anyone and I'm an honest person so wouldn't and couldn't!

Namechagergamechangwr91 · 07/10/2025 12:32

BlueJuniper94 · 07/10/2025 06:49

I wouldn't want to

Me either. I'd just go and hand myself in 😅. I can only imagine it would be in self defence or an accident and I'd feel terrible for it

ShodAndShadySenators · 07/10/2025 12:27

booksnbaking · 07/10/2025 10:56

Hassocks, presumably, unless you had a very international church community...

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Gosh yes, brain fog I'm afraid! Not as sharp as Jane Marple that's for sure

StasisMom · 07/10/2025 12:23

IAmKerplunk · 07/10/2025 11:46

I love my life outside of work according to my 10 minute timer in order for me to break things down and get things done so can’t imagine me trying to push someone off a cliff and just before the final push my phone timer goes off and I sit down for 10 minutes to reflect 🤣

I think there are many, many more murders than ever reported whether accident/suicide/gone missing.

Pondering on this thread - what about going missing? Do you think you could manage to go missing and leave friends/family behind and start a whole new life? Hmm maybe I will start a new thread on that

I often wonder about that! It seemed to happen quite a lot when I was young, 80s/90s!

IAmKerplunk · 07/10/2025 11:46

I love my life outside of work according to my 10 minute timer in order for me to break things down and get things done so can’t imagine me trying to push someone off a cliff and just before the final push my phone timer goes off and I sit down for 10 minutes to reflect 🤣

I think there are many, many more murders than ever reported whether accident/suicide/gone missing.

Pondering on this thread - what about going missing? Do you think you could manage to go missing and leave friends/family behind and start a whole new life? Hmm maybe I will start a new thread on that

TheNightingalesStarling · 07/10/2025 11:45

Arlanymor · 07/10/2025 11:34

But people have hairs elsewhere on their bodies!

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That you can cover easily with clothes!

ToTheStarsToTheSea · 07/10/2025 11:39

I can't lie to save my life so absolutely not.

Arlanymor · 07/10/2025 11:37

LunaTheCat · 07/10/2025 10:36

That’s horrendous ! How did the letter survive the chipper 🫣

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If it's this case I don't think it was to do with a letter: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Helle_Crafts

Murder of Helle Crafts - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Helle_Crafts

StasisMom · 07/10/2025 11:34

WhamBamThankU · 07/10/2025 09:37

I know this is a jokey thread but your opinion on homeless people is vile.

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I don't think she means kill the homeless people, at least I hope not. I think the "their" refers to the victim.

Arlanymor · 07/10/2025 11:34

TheNightingalesStarling · 07/10/2025 10:06

This thread has given me a few more ideas...

Publicly (or on Social Media) get involved in a charity head shave so there's an excuse for being bare headed to leave no hairs behind.

Plant evidence of an enemy or just a random person

Please note... I have no desires in real life. I plan crime novels in my head for distraction on long drives!

But people have hairs elsewhere on their bodies!

moderndilemma · 07/10/2025 11:31

When you hear about cases from 40 or 50 years ago where they've found new DNA evidence, I aways think 'I bet they thought they'd gotten away with that one'.

I might be able to get away with muder now but I'd live in perpetual fear that changing technology would catch up with me many years down the line...

booksnbaking · 07/10/2025 10:56

ShodAndShadySenators · 07/10/2025 09:53

Miss Marple would be onto you in a flash. She'd notice that you said you were at the church social when you couldn't have been because the vicar's wife had asked you to fetch the hand-sewn cossacks and then it would be all up with you! You murdering hag. What did Colonel Bagshot do to you, eh?

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Hassocks, presumably, unless you had a very international church community...

CurtsyFriends · 07/10/2025 10:52

FancyCatSlave · 07/10/2025 09:49

Oh gosh I have nightmares all the time about covering my tracks after a murder and every time I make some kind of error. Then I wake up in a sweat with a pounding heart and have to calm down and remember that I haven’t killed anyone and it’s all fine. But I end up in a right tizz that can last ages.

Clearly in my subconscious I am murdering a lot of people.

Sometimes I wake up and my first thought is “One day they will find the bodies and all this will be over”

And like you, I’m really unsettled for a long time afterwards. And literally all I have is that thought. No dreams of killing anyone. Very odd. I do worry that maybe I was Jack The Ripper in a former life or something….

Doingtheboxerbeat · 07/10/2025 10:51

Well according to some American crime podcaster , the UK has more surveillance than anywhere else in the world, so that would be a no from me.