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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is a poor excuse for men not wanting to enter these jobs?

134 replies

PrincessSophieFrederike · 07/10/2025 00:24

I came across this interesting Substack post the other day from a US feminist. She was talking about the lack of men entering professions like veterinary medicine, teaching, library science, etc which are now female-dominated, despite the fact that these were all originally male-only professions. She argues that men are put off female dominated jobs for fear of being seen as less masculine. She had a similar argument for why men are enrolling less in college there.

I also think a factor is that female-dominated workplaces may have on average communication styles which rely more on indirect messaging & ways of expressing conflict, whereas male-dominated workplaces tend to resolve conflict & compete more overtly. Ofc this is a stereotype & not true for many people, but I has some accuracy.

Overall, I do find it a bit of a frustrating excuse. I can understand men who prefer stereotypical male communication styles feeling less comfortable in a female-dominated workplace. Another factor is that women are more likely to promote woke stuff like TRA stuff which many, maybe most, men dislike. (Obvs many women do too, but unluckily women also promote it more). I can also understand concerns about making friends in a female-dominated workplace. (Ofc men & women can be friends, but they might understandably want more men around. Plus a lot of women might be suspicious of a man's female friends- sometimes with good reason.)

I have a lot of sympathy for things like the decline of traditional manual labour & spaces to meet & , the resultant rise in poor male mental health & suicide. But on this issue I'm more sceptical.

Women had to enter plenty of workplaces where until recently they had been legally banned. Sexual harassment is still a big problem in quite a few jobs. Generally women were told to toughen up, for a long time.
Whereas looking up other articles, we're told how men are 'intimidated' by going into a 60% female veterinary class. As I said above, I sympathise with some concerns they might have, but 'intimidated' seems a bit much. Ofc women can be bullies, but I doubt men who enter such jobs will be sexually harassed or seen as less competent due to their sex. Anecdotally, my gran always told me that the few male teachers at the school she taught at were very popular with the female staff. Surely it's similar for other jobs sometimes?

TLDR : AIBU to think it's a bit much for articles to talk about men being intimidated by female-dominated colleges & workplaces, whereas until recently (and some still say this) women were told to toughen up & adapt to male-dominated (and often sexist) ones?

OP posts:
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AllTheChaos · 08/10/2025 23:14

@JHound if you can get your hands on a copy of ‘Of Marriage and the Market’ I think you would appreciate the case studies! I’ve witnessed it in my own field of law. Formerly mostly women, low status, lower wages. Some significant regulatory changes then occurred that in turn made the field higher profile, and one that companies suddenly needed more expertise in. There was a massive upwards trend in wages for a while as companies
competed for the relatively few people with experience, and suddenly we started getting way more men trying to enter the field. In less than a decade we’ve gone from majority female applicants to my team, to mostly men. I knew it was likely to happen once I knew wages and status were on the increase, but it has been fascinating to observe it in action!

PrincessSophieFrederike · 08/10/2025 21:59

EBearhug · 08/10/2025 12:39

In Man Made Language, Dale Spender said when women speak 25% of the time, they were seen as having an equal contribution. If they speak 30% of the time, they're seen as dominating it.

That was about speaking in groups, and I don't know if the figures would be the same if it was a study today. But it wouldn't surprise me if they were, and it wouldn't surprise me if it was a similar figures for work-based participation.

I found out about Dale Spender from Gloria Steinem's 1970s book. Very good, she should be read more now.

I have to finish some work now but will rey to posts later, looks very interesting!

OP posts:
Motheranddaughter · 08/10/2025 13:18

As far as primary school teaching is concerned I expect that in Scotland at least,where the job situation is terrible,that this will not encourage men to enter that profession

RandomGeocache · 08/10/2025 13:05

DD is on a primary school teaching degree, there are about 80 in her year. She reports there are 4 young men, and three of them are gay.

JHound · 08/10/2025 13:05

EBearhug · 08/10/2025 12:39

In Man Made Language, Dale Spender said when women speak 25% of the time, they were seen as having an equal contribution. If they speak 30% of the time, they're seen as dominating it.

That was about speaking in groups, and I don't know if the figures would be the same if it was a study today. But it wouldn't surprise me if they were, and it wouldn't surprise me if it was a similar figures for work-based participation.

Probably why that PP thinks 20% women in an industry is “female doninated”.

JHound · 08/10/2025 12:59

Crushed23 · 08/10/2025 12:55

I was responding to the poster who said that “as women enter a profession” there is a “steep decline in prestige” which is clearly nonsense in the examples I gave. It’s 1 in 5 at the consulant/partner level but much higher at lower levels with trainees being >50% female in both cases. So in that sense both surgery and city law are most certainly becoming feminised. We can look at medicine (as opposed to surgery) and dentistry in which there are more women overall and there there has not been a drop in wages, with some particularly female-dominated specialisms earning relatively higher than other specialisms.

And if we were to compare across jobs. Mechanical engineering has a far lower female % than law and medicine but is a lower paying and lower status career.

Research?

https://www.weforum.org/stories/2016/04/the-simple-reason-for-the-gender-pay-gap-work-done-by-women-is-still-valued-less/#:~:text=She's%20not%20just%20saying%20this,the%20New%20York%20Times%20writes.

What can possibly explain this persistent pay gap?
Paula England, a professor at New York University and an authority on the gender pay gap, thinks it’s obvious: “It’s not that women are always picking lesser things in terms of skill and importance. It’s just that the employers are deciding to pay it less,” she explained in a different New York Times piece.
She’s not just saying this based on a hunch: along with Paul Allison of the University of Pennsylvania and Asaf Levanon of the University of Haifa, England has carried out one of the most exhaustive studies on the issue. Their findings suggest that women are not necessarily kept out of or choose not to enter high-paying and prestigious professions. Instead, when a job is dominated by women, it’s just not seen as important, and therefore pays less, even if it requires the same skills and education. The New York Times uses the example of janitors versus maids, jobs that are identical in every aspect except gender composition – and pay.

And as women start moving into traditionally male-dominated positions, the pay falls: “A 10% increase in proportion female is associated with .5% to 5% percent decrease in hourly wage in each decade,” the three researchers found.
The world of computer programming is the perfect example. Historically a female-dominated field, men started to take over in the 1980s. And as they did, things changed: “When male programmers began to outnumber female ones, the job began paying more and gained prestige,” Claire Cain Miller of the New York Times writes.

Crushed23 · 08/10/2025 12:55

JHound · 08/10/2025 11:59

1 in 20 vs. 1 in 5 is still not a feminised industry.

It is still overwhelmingly male.

The data on the trend is quite clear.

I was responding to the poster who said that “as women enter a profession” there is a “steep decline in prestige” which is clearly nonsense in the examples I gave. It’s 1 in 5 at the consulant/partner level but much higher at lower levels with trainees being >50% female in both cases. So in that sense both surgery and city law are most certainly becoming feminised. We can look at medicine (as opposed to surgery) and dentistry in which there are more women overall and there there has not been a drop in wages, with some particularly female-dominated specialisms earning relatively higher than other specialisms.

And if we were to compare across jobs. Mechanical engineering has a far lower female % than law and medicine but is a lower paying and lower status career.

EBearhug · 08/10/2025 12:39

JHound · 08/10/2025 11:59

1 in 20 vs. 1 in 5 is still not a feminised industry.

It is still overwhelmingly male.

The data on the trend is quite clear.

In Man Made Language, Dale Spender said when women speak 25% of the time, they were seen as having an equal contribution. If they speak 30% of the time, they're seen as dominating it.

That was about speaking in groups, and I don't know if the figures would be the same if it was a study today. But it wouldn't surprise me if they were, and it wouldn't surprise me if it was a similar figures for work-based participation.

JHound · 08/10/2025 12:07

Crushed23 · 07/10/2025 15:11

If there are instances of this (and there are as many instances showing the opposite trend - see my post above about surgeons, barristers and law partners), it will be a simple case of supply and demand. When more people qualify in a field (of any gender), then wages typically come down, because you don’t need to pay more to attract talent, ie there are fewer jobs than people able to do those jobs and looking to do them.

It’s not “instances” it’s studies and data. You are responding to studies and data with “instances” and anecdote.

Your comment on “supply vs. demand” makes zero sense in this context. Why would supply vs. demand be the response for wages falling when an industry becomes feminised but wages rising when it becomes masculinised?

Now “why” it happens is a topic for debate but you are arguing with data and the output of empirical research because you don’t like what it shows.

JHound · 08/10/2025 12:02

Crushed23 · 07/10/2025 15:05

But a profession doesn’t BECOME lower paid as women enter it, as has been suggested. That’s a complete nonsense.

The data shows the opposite though.

Or rather the data shows as it becomes female dominated (as opposed merely to women entering the field) average pay falls.

The opposite is true for fields that become male dominated (and the shift in status follows that too.)

JHound · 08/10/2025 11:59

Crushed23 · 07/10/2025 14:59

Tell me, have consultant surgeons experienced a sharp decline in their standing in society as the female representation increased from 1 in 20 to 1 in 5 over the past 30 years? How about senior barristers, which show the same trend? Or Magic Circle equity law partners?

Where is this steep lessening of prestige among these professions that you speak of?

1 in 20 vs. 1 in 5 is still not a feminised industry.

It is still overwhelmingly male.

The data on the trend is quite clear.

Daftypants · 08/10/2025 09:48

I hadn’t really thought about it , but yes all the veterinarians at the practice I take my pet to regularly are women ..and the vets at my previous practice were mostly women .
My female cousin married a male nurse and he has many male colleagues in his department.
Another male relative is a primary school teacher .
Nursing and teaching within a primary school would have been traditionally mainly female

EBearhug · 08/10/2025 00:30

There. Is. No. Conspiracy.

No, there isn't. But there is a lot of unconscious bias and discrimination going on.

OneAmberFinch · 07/10/2025 22:31

Crushed23 · 07/10/2025 20:25

How do subjects get a reputation as “intense” though? Do you think it has anything to do with the time commitment, abstract concepts that are difficult to understand, creative problem solving etc.? Or is just what percentage of men study the subject?

I have never, in all my life, heard anyone refer to a Medicine degree or a Biochemistry degree as easy, a “doss” degree, etc. despite those being dominated by female students year after year.

I really don't know the direction of causation. I am very certain about the correlation though. I suppose there might be a vicious/virtuous cycle aspect to it which makes it hard to pin down.

But some further facts about this example. The classes covered various engineering and IT disciplines. The highest female % was about 40% and the lowest around 7% so the overall perception of value, status, prestige etc within the cohort would be quite influenced by what men find prestigious.

The high-status courses were either very abstract, e.g. very theoretical maths, computer science internals like compiler design etc, or they were "weed out" style classes with high failure rates e.g. advanced fluid dynamics or electrical engineering classes where you needed six different types of transforms before the maths became manageable etc. I would say that they were all heavily g-loaded if I can say that - it wasn't about having lots of repetitive homework etc.

I took some of these courses, not all and really struggled with some, as in truly hit the limits of my intelligence and I'm not stupid overall. FWIW this group also included some of the most esoteric and useless courses I took at uni, so there's that!

I think it is a combination of women being less interested in very abstract and impersonal systems design/analysis (but men valuing this skill and rating it high in status), and something about the OMG WEED-OUT positioning being a status attractor for men but a turn-off for women (also a concrete threat to grades which I think women care more about).

A class on the same topic run by a different instructor might have quite a different "profile" though. Similarly a corporate department, say "the data team" might be a cutting-edge research lab or a glorified data entry typing pool and this will influence status and M/F dynamics.

ILikeBigBookssandIcannotlie · 07/10/2025 21:59

Crushed23 · 07/10/2025 19:31

If you want to believe there’s a gang of - presumably - old white men plotting to keep women down in IT or whatever profession (over a glass of scotch on a golf course?) then you’re free to believe that. How far can you really take the “the patriarchy is holding me down 😭” excuse in 2025, really?

People are made redundant based on performance. There is zero benefit to a business of sacking a woman, especially if she’s working harder than the men AND she’s costing you less (which is every woman in IT, it would appear from this thread). It makes no sense whatsoever.

And plenty of men have been unsuccessful when they’ve asked for a pay rise or put themselves forward for a promotion or applied for a job - these things are not unique to women.

There. Is. No. Conspiracy.

It's not about believing in a conspiracy. It's much subtler and more insidious than that.

Crushed23 · 07/10/2025 20:25

OneAmberFinch · 07/10/2025 19:43

Just as an anecdote to the above. When I was in undergrad I found a list of the sex breakdowns in all the engineering classes and sorted them from lowest female % to highest.

It was essentially like reading a list of "most intense/hardcore" classes by reputation. Inevitably if I asked people "should I do elective X or Y", where X had a higher male %, they would say that X was a "legendary" course or something, or if they said that I should do Y it was because it'll be "a total doss" or something along those lines.

I can't think of a single exception. I was very curious at the time so I tested it quite a bit. I am not sure which way around any causation may have gone, though...

How do subjects get a reputation as “intense” though? Do you think it has anything to do with the time commitment, abstract concepts that are difficult to understand, creative problem solving etc.? Or is just what percentage of men study the subject?

I have never, in all my life, heard anyone refer to a Medicine degree or a Biochemistry degree as easy, a “doss” degree, etc. despite those being dominated by female students year after year.

OneAmberFinch · 07/10/2025 19:43

Just as an anecdote to the above. When I was in undergrad I found a list of the sex breakdowns in all the engineering classes and sorted them from lowest female % to highest.

It was essentially like reading a list of "most intense/hardcore" classes by reputation. Inevitably if I asked people "should I do elective X or Y", where X had a higher male %, they would say that X was a "legendary" course or something, or if they said that I should do Y it was because it'll be "a total doss" or something along those lines.

I can't think of a single exception. I was very curious at the time so I tested it quite a bit. I am not sure which way around any causation may have gone, though...

OneAmberFinch · 07/10/2025 19:32

You can see this within tech subfields too. There are quite a lot of women in frontend web dev, UX design etc but relatively fewer in say electronics design, machine learning etc. The latter are much more respected and seen as "harder" in the STEM sense i.e. more real, higher status, implies higher IQ etc.

I've often found it a bit of an interesting paradox as someone who works at the intersection of 2-3 quite male dominated fields. I'm always being asked to speak at "Women in X" events and I sometimes do, but I'm always like - hmm, is it in my long-term financial interest to encourage more women into this field? ;)

Anyway OP I agree - I think men don't enter this fields almost entirely due to status reasons - possibly pay as a secondary. There are some social reasons for sure but I'd say it's more a preference. Maybe there's something to the "woke" thing but again idk if I'd say that's intimidation so much as rational self-preservation...

Crushed23 · 07/10/2025 19:31

EBearhug · 07/10/2025 18:24

What if you ask for payrises - just to make equal pay, for doing (more than) the same work as your male peers, you ask for promotions, you do advocate for yourself, and it still doesn't happen?

Women in IT are often better qualified than their male peers, and often with very solid experience. And yet they don't get allocated to the high-profile projects, they don't get the promotions and payrises as easily. Often it's the only woman in the department who gets made redundant. It gets very tiring, it's why there's a "leaky pipeline".

It takes a determined mindset to stick with it.

If you want to believe there’s a gang of - presumably - old white men plotting to keep women down in IT or whatever profession (over a glass of scotch on a golf course?) then you’re free to believe that. How far can you really take the “the patriarchy is holding me down 😭” excuse in 2025, really?

People are made redundant based on performance. There is zero benefit to a business of sacking a woman, especially if she’s working harder than the men AND she’s costing you less (which is every woman in IT, it would appear from this thread). It makes no sense whatsoever.

And plenty of men have been unsuccessful when they’ve asked for a pay rise or put themselves forward for a promotion or applied for a job - these things are not unique to women.

There. Is. No. Conspiracy.

SomethingFun · 07/10/2025 19:14

Women in my current industry fall off a cliff when it gets to senior roles. This doesn’t mean women aren’t capable of those roles or don’t self promote, the roles just aren’t there because they are filled by mediocre men who aren’t going anywhere. If anyone has any ideas as to how to prise plum jobs out of the hands of mediocre beige men I’m all ears 😁

Theif · 07/10/2025 18:35

Surely in most historic professions (i.e. not something new like IT) there's only one way for male percentages to go, and that is down. A hundred years ago women couldn't go into veterinary, now they can, as that happens of course it will affect the male %

EBearhug · 07/10/2025 18:24

Crushed23 · 07/10/2025 16:42

If you’re not putting yourself forward for promotion or you’re not asking for a pay rise, that’s on you. There is no great conspiracy to purposely pay women less. Indeed, it’s never been easier to research pay and benchmark yourself against the market. Advocate for yourself - it’s no one else’s responsibility but yours.

What if you ask for payrises - just to make equal pay, for doing (more than) the same work as your male peers, you ask for promotions, you do advocate for yourself, and it still doesn't happen?

Women in IT are often better qualified than their male peers, and often with very solid experience. And yet they don't get allocated to the high-profile projects, they don't get the promotions and payrises as easily. Often it's the only woman in the department who gets made redundant. It gets very tiring, it's why there's a "leaky pipeline".

It takes a determined mindset to stick with it.

SerendipityJane · 07/10/2025 17:56

Octavia64 · 07/10/2025 08:36

Men are also put off by other accusations.

you can see it on here - people say “why would a man want to work in a nursery? He must be a paedophile (or more gently - I worry about his motivations)”

same also happens for primary school teachers.

This was my first thought, rather than the pay aspect (which probably is a result of fewer men in the professions.)

Correlation is not causation and all that nonsense.

Pigeonpoodle · 07/10/2025 17:38

Crushed23 · 07/10/2025 16:42

If you’re not putting yourself forward for promotion or you’re not asking for a pay rise, that’s on you. There is no great conspiracy to purposely pay women less. Indeed, it’s never been easier to research pay and benchmark yourself against the market. Advocate for yourself - it’s no one else’s responsibility but yours.

Exactly, what manager ever thinks…

“I’m going to hire this man. He’s worth £x, and that’s all I’d pay for a women, but because I love the patriarchy, I’m going to pay him more! Who cares if my profits are lower as a result, so long as a patriarchy continues!”

People get paid their market worth - period.

Crushed23 · 07/10/2025 17:36

ILikeBigBookssandIcannotlie · 07/10/2025 17:32

Dermatology/aesthetics are of course going to pay better than sectors dominated by the
NHS

So? That’s always been the case, even when men were the majority.

If PP’s theory is correct that increased female representation brings pay down, then these specialisms would have experienced a relative drop in pay. But they haven’t. They’re both very lucrative still.

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