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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be concerned about my neighbours?

389 replies

Lynn981 · 06/10/2025 22:57

My neighbours are a young couple with a toddler. I normally seem them but I haven’t for 3 days now. All their lights and curtains hahe been drawn but their cars are still on the drive and haven’t moved. Or am I over thinking? It just seems a bit unusual. We are rural and you can’t really get to anywhere without a car, not even local shop. Also they’re not abroad or anything, as I actually spoke to the lady neighbour the other day and she said someone from the council was meant to be coming round

OP posts:
ForJollyLemonZebra · 07/10/2025 15:46

Have you knocked yet

ForJollyLemonZebra · 07/10/2025 15:46

Have you knocked yet

caramac04 · 07/10/2025 15:38

Any update OP?
I would definitely knock on the door. If all is well I’d just be honest and say I wondered if they had this horrible bug and if they needed anything- milk, bread etc.
OTOH, parents may be ill and unable to care for little one who could be in need of food and drink.

lindyloo57 · 07/10/2025 15:35

Just go round and knock at the door, look what happened to that famous guy and his wife who were both found dead ( sorry I forgot his name )

RisingSunn · 07/10/2025 15:20

I would just assume they were away for a few days - perhaps a taxi or friend picked them up.

MyKindHiker · 07/10/2025 14:37

TheDenimPoet · 07/10/2025 14:33

Do you not think the child would make a noise? And what about the dog? Stop feeding into the drama!

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It’s not really drama though is it? It’s a pretty low stakes thing. The dilemma is literally to knock a door or not.

And sometimes things are wrong. So - she should knock the door.

Abominableday · 07/10/2025 14:36

I don't think there should be drama though, I think it's reasonable for her to be concerned and to go round/ask for a welfare check.
I couldn't live with the "what ifs" if something bad happens, and would find being labelled as a nosy neighbour easier!

TheDenimPoet · 07/10/2025 14:33

Abominableday · 07/10/2025 14:29

Or, two of them might be dead and a child waiting for someone to help them!

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Do you not think the child would make a noise? And what about the dog? Stop feeding into the drama!

TheDenimPoet · 07/10/2025 14:33

I'd put money on them having gone away and got a lift or a taxi rather than driving.

If you're really worried then yeah, fine, knock, but I think you're being a tad dramatic.

Abominableday · 07/10/2025 14:29

LBFseBrom · 07/10/2025 14:27

I think it is highly likely they are away on a holiday and the dog is in kennels.

What are you thinking, that they are all dead? If they are, and obviously we all hope that is not the case, there's nothing you can do about it.

Or, two of them might be dead and a child waiting for someone to help them!

LBFseBrom · 07/10/2025 14:27

I think it is highly likely they are away on a holiday and the dog is in kennels.

What are you thinking, that they are all dead? If they are, and obviously we all hope that is not the case, there's nothing you can do about it.

LHP118 · 07/10/2025 14:14

You're just the neighbour everyone needs. Do knock on their door to check in or get the local support organisation to do a welfare check.

These are difficult times and kindness and looking out for each other is generally appreciated. Only you'll know what likely suits for the place you live in.

All I know is that if it were in my street, it would be appreciated.

Caroparo52 · 07/10/2025 14:10

Go and knock. Better safe than sorry. Call 999 if no answer and dog barking

Illberidingshotgun · 07/10/2025 13:53

Please go round there OP. There is nothing wrong with being concerned about other people. We instinctively notice the day to day routines and habits of those around us, and there has been enough deviation from the norm here to make you worried. They may well have been called away suddenly on an emergency, but if there is no response to your knocking, then I would definitely contact the police and suggest a welfare check. They won't mind being contacted even if all is well.

ForJollyLemonZebra · 07/10/2025 13:53

My thought too

Wordsmithery · 07/10/2025 13:40

I'm very surprised you've been spending time posting on here instead of knocking on the door. If something is actually wrong, time is of the essence. Go and knock right now, and look through the windows if no response. Speak to your other neighbours. Then think about asking the police to do a safe and well check.

Fabulously · 07/10/2025 13:35

How do you know they haven’t gone away for a few days?

ChicTealCat · 07/10/2025 13:31

Please go and knock on the door as soon as possible ! It is not a crime to be concerned about your neighbours.

MyAmusedPearlSquid · 07/10/2025 13:29

I always have my curtains closed and leave a light on even when I'm away

brunettemic · 07/10/2025 13:16

LakieLady · 06/10/2025 23:37

CO poisoning crossed my mind, too. And it would explain the lack of sound from the dog.

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Before the idea of them going away on holiday?

Namechanged555 · 07/10/2025 13:04

sunflowersintheday · 07/10/2025 13:02

I don't understand why the police took him at face value? When I asked for a welfare check on someone, the first thing they suggested was that he'd gone on holiday and was staying with friends. I had to give other evidence about my concerns.

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It was a long time ago and he could be very persuasive. I've no idea what he actually told them.

sunflowersintheday · 07/10/2025 13:02

Namechanged555 · 07/10/2025 12:59

I mean we didn’t know her well enough to know she was on holiday we didn’t even know her name just that she lived on down the street. Then he noticed he’d not seen her about for a few days and called the police to check on her. She never looked us in the eyes again. I was just hoping she knew i had nothing to do with it.

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I don't understand why the police took him at face value? When I asked for a welfare check on someone, the first thing they suggested was that he'd gone on holiday and was staying with friends. I had to give other evidence about my concerns.

Fangisnotacoward · 07/10/2025 13:01

Was it specified what the council were coming round for?

Namechanged555 · 07/10/2025 12:59

Namechanged555 · 07/10/2025 12:57

Personally I think he was virtue signalling that he was such a good neighbour. But i know he was just a nosey git.

I mean we didn’t know her well enough to know she was on holiday we didn’t even know her name just that she lived on down the street. Then he noticed he’d not seen her about for a few days and called the police to check on her. She never looked us in the eyes again. I was just hoping she knew i had nothing to do with it.

Namechanged555 · 07/10/2025 12:57

Personally I think he was virtue signalling that he was such a good neighbour. But i know he was just a nosey git.