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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be concerned about my neighbours?

389 replies

Lynn981 · 06/10/2025 22:57

My neighbours are a young couple with a toddler. I normally seem them but I haven’t for 3 days now. All their lights and curtains hahe been drawn but their cars are still on the drive and haven’t moved. Or am I over thinking? It just seems a bit unusual. We are rural and you can’t really get to anywhere without a car, not even local shop. Also they’re not abroad or anything, as I actually spoke to the lady neighbour the other day and she said someone from the council was meant to be coming round

OP posts:
Original poster
Lynn981 · 06/10/2025 23:41

LakieLady · 06/10/2025 23:37

CO poisoning crossed my mind, too. And it would explain the lack of sound from the dog.

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Oh gosh..

@LamonicBibber1 I have never heard them argue as such, maybe once or twice. I do hear her shouting at the toddler fairly often . Not overally shouting or screaming,just to tell her to stop doing something. But loud enough for me to hear

OP posts:
FaceBothered · 06/10/2025 23:40

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 06/10/2025 23:36

It's only been 3 days! Not 3 weeks!

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Yes but why wouldn't you knock on the door and then start a thread saying you're worried?

Bit pointless the other way around.

The OP doesn't need people to tell her to knock, if she's really worried she'll just do it anyway.

Change2banon · 06/10/2025 23:39

Xiaoxiong · 06/10/2025 23:32

I'd knock and make something up neighbourly if they answer. There's just been a big storm, Storm Amy - you could pretend you're enquiring after branches fallen on the boundary.

My neighbour knocked on the door on Saturday morning with this exact worry, so it's top of my mind as a legitimate neighbourly concern!!

Or she could just be honest and say I’m just checking in on you .. no need for lies and secrecy 🤷‍♀️

LakieLady · 06/10/2025 23:37

LamonicBibber1 · 06/10/2025 23:20

I'd be worried about them suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning, or something. I would definitely knock on the door, try to look in, and maybe contact the police if I still felt uneasy. Have you ever heard them arguing?

CO poisoning crossed my mind, too. And it would explain the lack of sound from the dog.

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 06/10/2025 23:36

FaceBothered · 06/10/2025 23:33

Oh good Lord 🤦‍♀️

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It's only been 3 days! Not 3 weeks!

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 06/10/2025 23:35

Agree it seems like a good idea to check on them. Hopefully it will all be fine but it's a nice neighbourly thing to do and sounds like you generally look out for each other. See if you can check the windows if they don't answer.

maybe they've been sick? But that wouldn't explain the lack of lights or any dog walks.

FaceBothered · 06/10/2025 23:33

Lynn981 · 06/10/2025 23:11

I haven’t knocked yet, I’ll be honest. I’m going to tomorrow. Just wanted to check what others thought, if I was over thinking

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Oh good Lord 🤦‍♀️

Xiaoxiong · 06/10/2025 23:32

I'd knock and make something up neighbourly if they answer. There's just been a big storm, Storm Amy - you could pretend you're enquiring after branches fallen on the boundary.

My neighbour knocked on the door on Saturday morning with this exact worry, so it's top of my mind as a legitimate neighbourly concern!!

Notatallanamechange · 06/10/2025 23:28

Have I missed something? Why is the assumption not the standard ‘they’ve gone on holiday’. Unless you’re going to tell us you share every detail? I share an allotment with my next door neighbour. I still don’t tell them every time I go away for a few days. And we share a LOT.

Arlanymor · 06/10/2025 23:28

Lynn981 · 06/10/2025 23:06

Sorry, I didn’t explain it the best! No numbers. We do help each other out with things and I usually see them very often, even just walking past with their dog. But nothing

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It could have been the way I read it to be fair! I think the fact that you've not seen them and they have a dog is odd to be honest - it's not like the dog can go without a walk for three days. I would definitely think that popping over tomorrow and giving them a knock would be completely reasonable and neighbourly in these circumstances. Do come back and let us know how it goes. And good on you for looking out for them.

TicklishMauveSquid · 06/10/2025 23:28

It's quite late now and if they are there and all is well, they might be a bit annoyed at knocking at this time but I'd take the risk of that in these circumstances.

Dog would need to go out, they have a young child, very rural etc. Assume you haven't noticed a cab or another car coming to pick them up?

If they'd gone away, and you're so rural, would they have mentioned it as you say you chat, just to let you know if you see anything suspicious while house is empty?

Did they say what the council was coming for? Is it a council property? Hopefully nothing to do with boiler.

Just go over and if they don't answer, try and look through the windows to see if you can see anything like unwashed dishes which could mean they are still there, then call the police for a welfare check.

There's been a few cases of tragedies where kids have been left to starve when a parent has been incapacitated so I wouldn't leave it until tomorrow.

Puzzledtoday · 06/10/2025 23:27

You have good reason to be concerned aAnd the neighbourly thing is to knock on the door and if no reply, ask around to see if anyone knows where they are. Then if no luck, call the police.

Terracottafarmers · 06/10/2025 23:25

Are you sure they aren't on holiday OP?

SkaneTos · 06/10/2025 23:25

Can they away be on a holiday? Perhaps a friend or a taxi drove them to the train station/airport?

Have you knocked on their door?
Do you know their names?

If you are really worried about them, can you call the police and ask them to do a welfare check?

Darner · 06/10/2025 23:24

I drove past my sister’s house today. She’s away and I noticed they’ve left their curtains closed. We never do this, but I guess some do. It doesn’t sound like you know these neighbours so well that they’d tell you whenever they go away.

But - I don’t think there’s any harm in knocking tomorrow. I’d make up an excuse just in case they’re there and think you’re nosey.

LamonicBibber1 · 06/10/2025 23:20

I'd be worried about them suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning, or something. I would definitely knock on the door, try to look in, and maybe contact the police if I still felt uneasy. Have you ever heard them arguing?

Original poster
Lynn981 · 06/10/2025 23:20

Rhond24 · 06/10/2025 23:17

By far the most likely explanation is that they have gone on holiday.

Quite possibly. It’s just a bit strange as when I spoke to her she said someone from the council was coming round and then also the last time they went away somewhere in the UK, they asked I just keep an eye out on the house for them. But they never mentioned a holiday. But I know it could still be

OP posts:
LadyGAgain · 06/10/2025 23:18

I think it’s lovely you’re raising a concern. Some of the earlier responses to your OP make me fear for humanity. Please go and knock the door. They may well have gone on holiday but you may find out more by going. Hope everything is ok.

Rhond24 · 06/10/2025 23:17

By far the most likely explanation is that they have gone on holiday.

ExitPursuedByABare · 06/10/2025 23:17

Aye. Knock on.

DramaQueenlady · 06/10/2025 23:14

Just knock on the door.

Original poster
Lynn981 · 06/10/2025 23:13

Flibbertyfloo · 06/10/2025 23:11

Dog not barking isnt definitive. I doubt my dog would bark in that sort of situation.

I'd also be worried in case they've gone out for a walk and something has happened.

I thought this, as they do tend to do an evening walk. I only know this as they usually walk past my front window every evening with the dog and pram, usually the same sort of time.

OP posts:
Flibbertyfloo · 06/10/2025 23:11

Dog not barking isnt definitive. I doubt my dog would bark in that sort of situation.

I'd also be worried in case they've gone out for a walk and something has happened.

Original poster
Lynn981 · 06/10/2025 23:11

FaceBothered · 06/10/2025 23:10

If the dog didn't bark when you knocked, they're probably not in.

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I haven’t knocked yet, I’ll be honest. I’m going to tomorrow. Just wanted to check what others thought, if I was over thinking

OP posts:
Greenwitchart · 06/10/2025 23:10

If there is a child involved then I would report this to the police.

Mention to them that you are concerned that there is no sign of life in the house and that their car is there and that it is all very unusual. Then leave it to the police to do a welfare check.

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