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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be concerned about my neighbours?

389 replies

Lynn981 · 06/10/2025 22:57

My neighbours are a young couple with a toddler. I normally seem them but I haven’t for 3 days now. All their lights and curtains hahe been drawn but their cars are still on the drive and haven’t moved. Or am I over thinking? It just seems a bit unusual. We are rural and you can’t really get to anywhere without a car, not even local shop. Also they’re not abroad or anything, as I actually spoke to the lady neighbour the other day and she said someone from the council was meant to be coming round

OP posts:
PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 07/10/2025 08:23

And? Were they at home?

I hope everything is alright!

Goldengirl123 · 07/10/2025 08:20

I would call round

sunflowersintheday · 07/10/2025 08:20

Gretafamily · 07/10/2025 08:18

For the people who think it’s nosey, you do pick up your neighbours routine just be accident. I know my next door neighbour works until 8pm sometimes and next door but one leave at half 7 for school run for example. If my next door neighbour wasn’t around for a few days, I wouldn’t be worried as they mentioned they like to go on fishing weekends. You should knock, I wouldn’t be offended. I’m a single mum, I would be glad that someone was half keeping a look out.

Yeah, me too - isn't that what a good community is?

Gretafamily · 07/10/2025 08:18

For the people who think it’s nosey, you do pick up your neighbours routine just be accident. I know my next door neighbour works until 8pm sometimes and next door but one leave at half 7 for school run for example. If my next door neighbour wasn’t around for a few days, I wouldn’t be worried as they mentioned they like to go on fishing weekends. You should knock, I wouldn’t be offended. I’m a single mum, I would be glad that someone was half keeping a look out.

Theunamedcat · 07/10/2025 08:16

For those of you saying the dog would bark its not necessarily true I went out to a far neighbour (flagged by a friend) knocked on his door no dog barked no noises i called the police they wanted me to try to gain entry myself to check the situation I refused because the kids were with me they got a bit snippy but I said ive two young kids there is no noises from behind that door and im not going in they accepted that and gained entry when they could a few hours later (he was alive but had fallen the dog was fine too just in a mess)

So lack of dog noises doesn't mean the worst they can shut down if they are scared

Elsvieta · 07/10/2025 08:16

Maybe they went on a trip with friends or family members who picked them up? Or they got a taxi to the station / airport?

If they were there and so was the dog, they'd have to at least take it out now and then, presumably? Knock and see if it barks.

Could be something more dramatic of course - like one of them was taken seriously ill (not necessarily while at home) and they all went off in an ambulance and they haven't left the hospital since...

sunflowersintheday · 07/10/2025 08:15

pontivex · 07/10/2025 08:09

Because people worry it makes you look nosy if you know their daily movements. There’s clearly a fine line between ‘concerned neighbour who just happened to realise’ and ‘I’ve keeping tabs on your every movement’

Show quote history

I think it's ok if it's been a few days and the curtains are drawn and no lights have been on. It's not an invasion of privacy at that point.
I'm inclined to think they're on holiday, though I could be wrong.

ToutesetBonne · 07/10/2025 08:15

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Clawdy · 07/10/2025 08:14

Hopefully you may see them today.

tuvamoodyson · 07/10/2025 08:14

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 06/10/2025 23:36

It's only been 3 days! Not 3 weeks!

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To be honest, I’d wonder what was going on if my neighbours had their curtains closed, lights off for 3 days, no sight of sound of the dog, for 3 days…I usually see them
out with their dog or see their car in/out of the drive as I go about my day.

sunflowersintheday · 07/10/2025 08:13

Tubestrike · 07/10/2025 08:04

Why do people make excuses for checking on someone's welfare, no need to make up stories about collecting parcels, just say you were concerned.

This. For goodness sake, just knock - is everything ok?

pontivex · 07/10/2025 08:09

Tubestrike · 07/10/2025 08:04

Why do people make excuses for checking on someone's welfare, no need to make up stories about collecting parcels, just say you were concerned.

Because people worry it makes you look nosy if you know their daily movements. There’s clearly a fine line between ‘concerned neighbour who just happened to realise’ and ‘I’ve keeping tabs on your every movement’

Iamnotalemming · 07/10/2025 08:09

I would just knock and ask.

Tubestrike · 07/10/2025 08:04

Why do people make excuses for checking on someone's welfare, no need to make up stories about collecting parcels, just say you were concerned.

LakieLady · 07/10/2025 08:03

FoodYummyFood · 07/10/2025 00:16

Do people really care about closed curtains I only say this as someone who never opens my curtains and doesn't socialise with my neighbours... OP no harm knocking if someone knocked on my door I wouldn't be upset

My neighbour and I would, but we're both pretty old and live alone.

We also have keys to one another's houses, in case of emergencies.

FcukBreastCancer · 07/10/2025 08:02

I'd knock today

TheWonderhorse · 07/10/2025 08:01

Definitely knock! Why people are saying you're overreacting I don't know, what's the harm in checking?

Alwaysinamood · 07/10/2025 07:58

Shitmonger · 07/10/2025 00:09

I’d assume that they’re on holiday and got a ride to the airport so that they didn’t have to pay to park their car. It never hurts to knock, however!

I thought this too, and the dog is staying at a friends/ boarding

smilingfanatic · 07/10/2025 07:57

Always check, and especially if there's a vulnerable person in the property:

www.theguardian.com/society/2024/jan/17/bronson-battersby-two-year-old-boy-died-of-starvation-curled-up-next-to-dead-father

Fairyvocals · 07/10/2025 07:56

I would absolutely knock. Much better to find they’re fine and think you’re over-reacting than not to check and regret it.

(Similar to a PP, a relative of mine and her daughter hadn’t been seen or heard from for a few days. My poor, teenage uncle went round to the house, got in through a window and found them dead in their beds, where they’d been killed by the husband/dad.)

BadgernTheGarden · 07/10/2025 07:55

Doubtful that knocking will do anything, if they are away they won't answer and if they are 'lost in the woods' they won't answer. Can you get round the back and see if you can see anything through those windows or if the back door isn't locked. If you are really worried the police is the way to go, but if they have just gone away for a few days it could be a little embarrassing if the police break in. I assume no note on the door for deliveries or anything?

notacooldad · 07/10/2025 07:55

I think you've noticed unusual behaviour that doesn't sit right with you.
No one knows if somethings up or not.
I agree with the suggestion of knocking on and asking about a pretend parcel.

If you dint get an answer im not sure what to do next though.

Okiedokie123 · 07/10/2025 07:48

I would knock on their door. Weird not too imho.

CharlotteLightandDark · 07/10/2025 07:47

wrong thread!

DurinsBane · 07/10/2025 07:45

Another vote for holiday, got a taxi or a lift to airport. Dog in kennels