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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be concerned about my neighbours?

389 replies

Lynn981 · 06/10/2025 22:57

My neighbours are a young couple with a toddler. I normally seem them but I haven’t for 3 days now. All their lights and curtains hahe been drawn but their cars are still on the drive and haven’t moved. Or am I over thinking? It just seems a bit unusual. We are rural and you can’t really get to anywhere without a car, not even local shop. Also they’re not abroad or anything, as I actually spoke to the lady neighbour the other day and she said someone from the council was meant to be coming round

OP posts:
Daygloboo · 07/10/2025 11:09

freakingscared · 07/10/2025 10:33

Find an excuse to go around, ask if they have a parcel or pretend your electrics or water has done off and ask them if they have any ?

What's wrong with just going and telling them truth

Ashersmom · 07/10/2025 11:04

Are they all in bed with flu? Knock and see what happens from there. A slightly different situation but we saved an elderly neighbour who had fallen out of bed and got wedged against the wall. We noticed his curtains hadn't been opened. He was a stickler for routine.
We contacted his daughter and the police broke in. He had dehydration and pneumonia (along with a broken wrist) by the time they got to him.

SaratogaFilly · 07/10/2025 10:55

Have you knocked on the door yet Op?

Aluna · 07/10/2025 10:54

If you’re concerned you just go and knock on the door. You don’t need to find an “excuse”. Concern for their welfare is reason enough.

However, I think they’ve just gone away without mentioning it. I don’t always tell neighbours when I’m away, sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.

You don’t know for sure when this lady from the council was due to come, and it could have been postponed or cancelled etc.

LittleBitofBread · 07/10/2025 10:53

I also think maybe they've gone somewhere by taxi/lift from friend or family.
A friendly knock can't do any harm.
You're a nice neighbour!

Nandina · 07/10/2025 10:51

They could be on holiday. Some people close their curtains and blinds when they go away (that always seems odd to me as it just alerts others to an empty house).

Namerequired · 07/10/2025 10:51

It sounds likes they are away. Maybe a family emergency. I hope that’s all it is

Dartmoorcheffy · 07/10/2025 10:47

If they've previously asked op to keep an eye on their house, I cant see why she wouldn't just knock on the door to see if everything is OK.

Sunflowerlanyard · 07/10/2025 10:41

Will OP be back to update us or was it a late at night I’m bored post 🤔

beAsensible1 · 07/10/2025 10:40

lifeonmars100 · 07/10/2025 10:33

I think it is great that the OP notices things and that they care. I could drop down dead in my house and nobody would notice. I sometimes worry about how long my body would lie here before anyone would be aware. I had not been seen. All my family live quite far away and friends are in touch but would probably not worry if they had not heard from me for a few weeks.

you hear too often abut people left for weeks or months or even years because no one notices, or pretends not to.

that poor baby starved to death in a mother and baby home a few years ago. knocking doesn't do any harm.

beAsensible1 · 07/10/2025 10:38

did you knock yet?

Shmoigel · 07/10/2025 10:36

I hope they are ok x

freakingscared · 07/10/2025 10:33

Find an excuse to go around, ask if they have a parcel or pretend your electrics or water has done off and ask them if they have any ?

lifeonmars100 · 07/10/2025 10:33

I think it is great that the OP notices things and that they care. I could drop down dead in my house and nobody would notice. I sometimes worry about how long my body would lie here before anyone would be aware. I had not been seen. All my family live quite far away and friends are in touch but would probably not worry if they had not heard from me for a few weeks.

Cavello · 07/10/2025 10:30

Hope all is ok with your neighbours.

Tubestrike · 07/10/2025 10:17

It's a shame that we have become so insular and don't know our neighbours well enough to just let them know if you're going away, just so they can keep an eye out. Maybe not possible if it was an emergency midnight flit though.

DinoLil · 07/10/2025 10:07

Maybe they got a taxi to the airport for a holiday in the sun. Dog is in boarding kennels.

But it's lovely that you've noticed and are concerned.

PollyBell · 07/10/2025 10:06

CafeDucky · 07/10/2025 09:03

I would give a knock and be honest. Don’t make up an excuse. Just say hadn’t seen you and wanted to check all’s okay?

Exactly this, if I was genuinely concerned I would say otherwise justifying by lying makes me think it was not genuine

Bumcake · 07/10/2025 10:04

itsalwayssunnyhere · 07/10/2025 09:35

YANBU, but I have to admit I wouldn't do anything. You do you though, knocking pretending you've lost your parcel and asking whether they have seen it would be a good idea, just to see if they are at home.

Why not? And why lie?

Christwosheds · 07/10/2025 10:00

A watchful neighbour alerted us to the fact that my Mum had a parcel on the doorstep all day. Mum had fallen and would have died if she’d been left much longer. I am so grateful that this lady was aware of my Mum and that she lived alone. She gave me five more years with my Mum.

Christwosheds · 07/10/2025 09:57

I agree with pps that they are probably away, but I would also knock on the door.
Do you have any mutual friends you could ask ?

DiscoBob · 07/10/2025 09:55

They went on holiday? Didn't want to park car at airport/car too small/broken so got a lift or taxi to nearest station or airport?

Young families don't just drop off the planet.

AInightingale · 07/10/2025 09:52

If you're still concerned after knocking them up OP (no update today), the child will be registered with a health visitor presumably so you could give that service a call and ask if they have any way of contacting the parents - bound to have a mobile number, to make a quick welfare call, ideally in the guise of something else. I understand how awkward it would be if they were just away on a break but they would understand your concerns, hopefully, and do it discreetly.

DBSFstupid · 07/10/2025 09:51

Any update OP?
I'm worried about them now!!

deeahgwitch · 07/10/2025 09:50

You sound lovely @Lynn981, concerned for your neighbours. I do hope all is ok
and they are just off on holidays. But I would definitely check.
Many years ago I was worried about an older work colleague. She hadn’t turned up for work, lived alone and it was very unlike her not to ring in that she wouldn’t be at work. We had a new boss who didn’t know her or how conscientious she was. I hunted down a number for her sister who lived miles away.
She had had a stroke. 🥲
Fortunately she made a recovery but never returned to work.