Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hurtful comment at work

29 replies

Waterhorse46 · 06/10/2025 21:41

Applied to a new job. Told my manager I listed her as a referee pre interview. Her instant response. I’m just gonna hope you don’t get that job. Said twice. Followed by it’ll be a loss.

Aibu to feel very upset about that due to it being wildly inappropriate?

OP posts:
DinaofCloud9 · 06/10/2025 21:44

She doesn't want those you. Why is it hurtful?

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 06/10/2025 21:44

You say you told her you put her as a reference, do you not mean you asked her? It’s not polite to just put her down and then tell her afterwards. It sounds like she values you and doesn’t want you to leave. She’s not saying it very appropriately, but I’m struggling to see why you find it hurtful.

Original poster
Waterhorse46 · 06/10/2025 21:43

UnhappyHobbit · 06/10/2025 21:42

Did she mean it would be a loss to them? If so, isn’t that a compliment?

Repeated hope you don’t get it twice. Moved topic then as exiting the office that it’s a loss. But I’ve been scrutinised since I started. Nothing I do is right.

OP posts:
UnhappyHobbit · 06/10/2025 21:42

Did she mean it would be a loss to them? If so, isn’t that a compliment?