Page 3 | To have been upset at what DP said after we were intimate?

Wifetobe26 · 2025-10-06T17:32:30+00:00

DP came home from the gym this afternoon and (rarely for him at the moment given he says he has lost a lot of his drive) instigated sex. Afterwards we were chatting, and I said light heartedly that it was unlike him to want to do that on a Monday afternoon. He laughed and said the gym was full of women in leggings so he was feeling frisky. I felt a bit shit at this…but don’t know if I’m being naive? He’s obviously entitled to think this but saying out loud seems unnecessary..

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 06/10/2025 20:59

Jtfrtj · 06/10/2025 20:52

Aren’t you two cool. You’re definitely not like other women…

OP, the issue isn’t that someone/thing turned him on, it’s the fact he told you to your face. It’s downright disrespectful and tactless. The fact he’s lost his sex drive for you recently but admitted he got turned on around random women, he’s taking the absolute piss out of you. He is classless. Just throw the whole man away at this point.

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Yep, I’m not like most women as I’m autistic. Thanks for saying that’s cool.😎

So instead of giving the honest answer to her question, you are saying would have been more respectful for the DH to have lied to the OP about what got him thinking of and wanting sex with OP?

Why don’t you think “throwing away the whole man” is a bit of an over-reaction?

grumpygrape · 06/10/2025 20:58

Jtfrtj · 06/10/2025 20:52

Aren’t you two cool. You’re definitely not like other women…

OP, the issue isn’t that someone/thing turned him on, it’s the fact he told you to your face. It’s downright disrespectful and tactless. The fact he’s lost his sex drive for you recently but admitted he got turned on around random women, he’s taking the absolute piss out of you. He is classless. Just throw the whole man away at this point.

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Is it not disrespectful and tactless to comment on his libido straight after the act? He didn’t ‘admit’, he laughingly responded to a supposedly ‘light-hearted’ comment.

He’s not allowed to be embarrassed or make a laughing comment back but it’s OK for OP to comment?

shhblackbag · 06/10/2025 20:56

All these men who can't keep their thoughts to themselves. Dumb.

Jtfrtj · 06/10/2025 20:52

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 06/10/2025 20:43

Thank goodness- someone who thinks the same as me.

OP, it would not bother me one bit.

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Aren’t you two cool. You’re definitely not like other women…

OP, the issue isn’t that someone/thing turned him on, it’s the fact he told you to your face. It’s downright disrespectful and tactless. The fact he’s lost his sex drive for you recently but admitted he got turned on around random women, he’s taking the absolute piss out of you. He is classless. Just throw the whole man away at this point.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 06/10/2025 20:43

Thingscouldntgetanyworse · 06/10/2025 20:08

This wouldn’t bother me at all. I don’t particularly care what gets my husbands motor running, as long as he parks it in my garage!

Sometimes when I initiate sex with my husband it’s because something else or someone else has put be in the mood - wether that be books, tv, or even maybe smelling a nice aftershave on a man.

Thank goodness- someone who thinks the same as me.

OP, it would not bother me one bit.

grumpygrape · 06/10/2025 20:40

Let me get this right. You made a supposedly ‘light hearted’ comment about his libido, he laughed and replied but suddenly you are allowed to be upset?

In whose world is it only you allowed to make ‘light-hearted’ comments referring to his libido which you know is currently an issue for him, and maybe embarrassing, but he isn’t allowed to respond in kind?

You are being unreasonable to question him in the first place. You should feel shit about making that comment in the first place.

Thingscouldntgetanyworse · 06/10/2025 20:08

This wouldn’t bother me at all. I don’t particularly care what gets my husbands motor running, as long as he parks it in my garage!

Sometimes when I initiate sex with my husband it’s because something else or someone else has put be in the mood - wether that be books, tv, or even maybe smelling a nice aftershave on a man.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 06/10/2025 19:58

What an asshole.

TheatricalLife · 06/10/2025 19:47

Wifetobe26 · 06/10/2025 19:36

I can’t have any more children sadly, so certainly not me.

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Might be a helpful one to read through as it has quite a few replies on essentially the same issue

DramaLlamacchiato · 06/10/2025 19:45

whataweekImhaving · 06/10/2025 19:22

I hate that men are like this 😩

Not all men are like this.

But an awful lot of them are.

(I would say though that most of them would just think it, they would have the sense not to say it).

Well exactly

How many women would for example go for a swim and come home and jump their husband because the outline of other men’s genitalia in their speedos gave her the horn? Not many I reckon. Grim

Original poster

Wifetobe26 · 06/10/2025 19:36

TheatricalLife · 06/10/2025 19:19

Maybe it was this one I was thinking of?
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5318066-upset-at-comment-dh-made-when-ttc?page=1

I can’t have any more children sadly, so certainly not me.

OP posts:

Reachedthefinalstage · 06/10/2025 19:35

I'm not surprised you are feeling rubbish after that OP.

He has reduced you to just a hole to dump his load in. Nothing to do with either love, affection or caring. These other women made him randy and he used your body.

And what is absolutely devastating for you is he didnt even bother to hide it from you. He told you as it was .

I couldn't ever feel the same about him after that. Im sorry but he doesn't give a damn about you.

Endofyear · 06/10/2025 19:34

Ick ick ick 🤮

whataweekImhaving · 06/10/2025 19:22

I hate that men are like this 😩

Not all men are like this.

But an awful lot of them are.

(I would say though that most of them would just think it, they would have the sense not to say it).

TheatricalLife · 06/10/2025 19:19

Maybe it was this one I was thinking of?
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5318066-upset-at-comment-dh-made-when-ttc?page=1

DiscoBob · 06/10/2025 19:18

DramaAlpaca · 06/10/2025 19:15

Yep, this was posted before, very recently.

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Dont know why people go that. Unless it's two seperate people? Unlikely.

JLou08 · 06/10/2025 19:17

I'm sure I've read the same post before.

DramaAlpaca · 06/10/2025 19:15

DiscoBob · 06/10/2025 19:06

Yeah me too. Was that OP?

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Yep, this was posted before, very recently.

Original poster

Wifetobe26 · 06/10/2025 19:14

DiscoBob · 06/10/2025 19:06

Yeah me too. Was that OP?

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No that wasn’t me

OP posts:

HRchatter · 06/10/2025 19:13

Is he popping the steroids that tends to reduce their sector strive and turn them into a bit of a bastard?

DiscoBob · 06/10/2025 19:06

TheatricalLife · 06/10/2025 18:45

I swear I read this exact same post on here a while ago!
That would really put me off having sex with him again. Not only in a confidence way, but also the thought of him being the ogling gym letch that everyone gets the creeps about.

Yeah me too. Was that OP?

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 06/10/2025 19:04

It's a bit grim at the best of times. But the fact that he isn't normally up for it, but is when he sees other women's bums in leggings, is pretty insulting

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 06/10/2025 19:04

Assuming he wasn’t ogling them, it is of course ok and natural to feel some attraction/desire for people who aren’t your partner.

It was really shit of him to say so though.

Re him having lost sex drive - it’s also natural for that to ebb and flow, please don’t start to think that’s a reflection of him not being attracted to you.

Goditsmemargaret · 06/10/2025 19:03

What an idiot. I would feel hurt and irrationally humiliated.

TheExcitersblowingupmymind · 06/10/2025 19:02

This seems very familiar.
Could it be a bloke re enacting what he's seen?