To have been upset at what DP said after we were intimate?

That's it for me as well.
I've been going to the gym for years, and we've had countless amounts of men who openly boggle and perv at women. I bet they probably think it's all very undercover and people don't notice, but they really do.
I even had a man at least 20 years older than me who would follow me around during a weightlifting class, standing as close as he could and trying to touch me. Yes, he was made to leave the gym eventually, but when the OP said about her partner being turned on by looking at women in leggings it turned my stomach and took me right back to that time.
I couldn't stand thinking I was potentially with one of those type of men and would have the immediate ick.
Everyone has their own limits - being told I was basically a wank sock after he got horny over other people at the gym is mine 🤮

I'm not the jealous type, but I'd find this so disrespectful. I'd be gone. We teach people how to treat us and this would trigger a doormat alert sign in my head.

Yep, we are all different.

It would really bother me. Just shows how different we all are!

What has you being autistic got to do with anything? Nobody asked.

Nobody expected him to lie either, as he wasn’t asked a direct question. She made a flippant throwaway remark about it not been like him to be up for it on a Monday afternoon. It was completely unnecessary for him to respond that he had been aroused by women at the gym.
It’s standard social etiquette and decency..

What was he thinking?! I mean, I guess he’s clumsily trying to explain why he’s in the mood but nobody wants to hear it was someone else’s body that caused it!

If you're engaged and there's not much sex going on, and he behaves like an insensitive idot, are you really sure about marrying him.

I mean, without OPs comment then this would be really shit but you all seem to have missed the bit where OP brought up his usual lack of sex drive first! Sounds like being a bit defensive to a comment that also could have been hurtful even if meant in a light hearted way.

Imagine struggling with your libido and when you do manage to get the urge your partner makes a comment reminding you of your usual lack of drive, immediately after sex! What a way to kill the mood and kill your confidence! I think his comment was a fair retort.

YABU OP because you started it.

So sorry OP, absoutely gross behaviour from your DP.

You said your DP has lost his drive, but instigated sex after the gym. If this isn't the norm for him and he's acting out of character perhaps he's taking testosterone or something similar? Some men can act like complete nobs when on it!

Absolutely no excuse for his shitty behaviour though!!

No it wouldn’t. I understood the OP’s situation was one where her OP has been experiencing a decline in sex drive. Which is normal for most men as they age.

Yes that’s really shit especially combined with his lack of sex drive

@SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice maybe it would bother you if your partner isn’t usually up for it with you…not exactly flattering, is it?

Not enough of a distinction to keep ME in the mood, I have to say.

This exact post appeared recently

Where does it say that he was
“a man thinking about “ women in leggings at the gym” whilst he is shagging” OP?

He only says that put him into the mood.

Talk to him calmly later,
tell him how you feel.

At least he came to you and not one of them.
Edited to say: it would piss me off too.

Reminds me of a saying from my yoof (1970s-80s-90s???)

"I don't mind where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home..."

Chill a little - enjoy the fact he thought of you once he got turned on and didn't go for a secret wank in the bathroom - or worse....

I would absolutely not want to hear that, whether it is true or not. Plus, he’s a bit….dim? Does he think you’ll shag him again, after that? Because every woman’s fantasy is a man thinking about “ women in leggings at the gym” whilst he is shagging you? What a turn on for you..not! He’s an idiot, which is entirely unsexy.

Vile absolutely vile. Please please don’t marry him

doesn’t Get turned on by me… gets turned on by other women and thinks it’s ok to tell me… not sure I could live with that.

I completely accept that I can read a bonk buster/ see a gorgeous man/watch a movie and the result is great for both of us… but i wouldn’t tell him.. it’s disrespectful

is it a case of his libido falling off a cliff and he’s just happy that something got it going? Hoping it’s getting better?

how is he usually? Good partner, loving, supportive , interesting and interactive ? If he is maybe a frank conversation. He needs to understand what he actually did… I think sex therapy may be a good idea.

I agree. The
“..obviously entitled to think this but saying out loud seems unnecessary..”

applies equally to OP saying it’s not usual for him to initiate sex…

Don’t gently tease and ask a question and then get upset when you’re gently teased back.

I’m afraid it sounds quite normal to me.

Yep I could swear I've read this exact post before. Curious 🧐