To not want HRT

Im not quite sure why you associate HRT with being a fat, lifeless blimp? In my case it was the opposite of lifeless it was getting my life back. You’ve essentially described a whole slew of symptoms that sound pretty much like menopause to me but you don’t want to take the medication that can help with those and provide benefits down the line ( bone density etc). Why don’t you have a chat with a Dr about it? If you can afford it I’d recommend a menopause specialist ( but maybe you have a great GP so go there ). HRT is not one particularly things it’s a combination that includes oestrogen, progesterone, testosterone and various gels , patches and pessaries. You don’t have to sign up for the whole shebang (although I tend to think of them as the holy trinity myself. ) You could start small and see how you go.

Vaginal estrogen only works locally.

Try L-tyrosine. It helped me enormously with brain fog - in fact so effective I can only take it every other day.
I am on the fence about HRT. I am overweight already and doing exercise and trying to eat healthily. I feel any benefits that HRT might bring would be wiped out if I gain any more weight.