To send invitation for 8th party happening mid-Jan?

They’re not a random 8 year old they’re your child’s friend. I would want to make the effort to make sure my DD didn’t miss out on key dates like parties. Might not be important to you but it is important to your child.

I wouldn’t find it weird if my DD got an invite 3 months in advance. I’d just put it in my diary and look forward to it.

Sorry @cremello, but that would have been filed in the 'too far away to care' pile, being as it's not really a significant happening unless we were really close!

If you are a family with unpredictable christenings and ad hoc weddings and vital yet spontaneous sports fixtures, you could just answer with thanks for the invite, explain that you can’t give a firm yes or no until x date, say that you understand if that has to be taken as a decline if the host needs earlier answers. Then otherwise you set a reminder for the day you have committed to reply by.
A lot of posters are falling over themselves to say how utterly trivial a child’s birthday party is. However, they are not unimportant to our children. People inviting you to a child’s party with a lot of notice are not doing so because they want to insult you by saying your life is so boring you have nothing better to do than plan birthday parties for a child. They are just offering your child a chance to participate that he or she may appreciate.

Or a family event that would be classed as more important than a children 's party?

That's what I'd do as well. An acknowledgement that it's very early to be thinking about January, but giving the heads up.

No, not waiting to see if something better comes along at all. I just don’t know what is happening in January right now. This isn’t about other potential social events it’s about co ordinating work and caring for someone with a disability and I cannot do that 3 months in advance. Neither would I want to. Ask me a couple of weeks before and I will work it out.

I didn’t even have 3 months planning for my own wedding let alone someone else’s 8 year old.

It's not exactly a risk. With your attitude I would say no anyway. Your loss. A random 8 year olds party is not on my high priority list so there is no risk

Well there ya go!

Whilst I’d be like you and want to have it all done and organised, I think three months ahead is a bit much. Perhaps send a “heads up” message to any particular friends’ parents you know your DS would really hate it be without?

I’d send the invitations at the very beginning of December I think, maybe late November at a push. Early October probably is a bit soon

I think it's fine to give out invites now, or send a 'save the date' message, as long as you are realistic that nobody is going to 'save the date' for an 8 year old's birthday party over a work trip, family event, wedding, once in a lifetime concert, etc. As long as you are seeing a 'yes' as 'As long as we are still free then', then go for it.

I'd just message.the parents and give them a heads up. My dd has similar birthday to 4 of her 8 friends so the mums plan the weekends for the parties. It's the only sensible thing to do. Invites through be sent a month before

But my point is that a few weeks beforehand we will know our availability and will be able to give you a clear yes or no, 3-4 months in advance is not possible.

Now is too soon @cremello but I disagree with people saying send the invitations in early December. People will be in full Christmas mood then, and all they will be seeing, hearing, and thinking about is Christmas.

Sooooooo, send them early to mid November. In about 5 weeks.

That's not how it works. I don't have our shift patterns that far ahead so I don't know if there will be an adult available to take them. I don't know what DC sports fixtures will be and if we'll be travelling for an away game.

If a wedding invite comes our way that would also have to take priority over a classmate's party. My brother got married last year with 3 months notice of the date. Much more to consider than just a 'better offer.'

Friendship groups might change too, as they do at that age and your DC might want to change the invite list or my child might be best buddies with yours just now but drift apart by next term. By all means book the party but no need to send invites until a few weeks before when people have a better idea if they can commit.

Do you mean they're waiting to see if something better comes along?

Not necessarily better but something that would be more of a priority to that family than a child's birthday party.

It's a bit early but if you want to send the invitation then send it but ask for RSVPs by a date in early December.

I don't generally believe in waiting in case something better comes along but for kids' parties I don't want to be planning my weekend three months in advance around something like that these days.

The poster saying they can't commit in case a wedding comes up last minute 🤨

My child's friends birthday parties are important to her so they're important to me, so I'd prioritise that where I can in my diary. The chance of her starting a new random club on a Saturday is low, we already know when her hobbies are and any friends of mine planning weddings tend to book those in more than 3 months in advance.....

In the middle of the Christmas chaos? I wouldn't do that either! A good week or two before the end of the Christmas term I'd say. Acknowledging that it's a crazt time. And probably a reminder early January!

I think it's fine- I've done similar before.

For a whole class party- no.

For a smaller group with a specific activity that needs to be booked well in advance, I've sent a WhatsApp to each parent, saying my DC wants to do XYZ for their party and I need to book it as spaces are filling up, was wondering whether your DC can come, I'll send a proper invite nearer the time.

No-one has ever raised an eyebrow!