That ribbons & balloons along public streets for a funeral is litter rather than a tribute?

even flowers on graves etc

The thing about flowers on graves is that they are in a place that is specifically set aside for memorialising. That's what I don't get -- why is it that people feel they can elect to ignore the special places provided in churchyards and cemeteries and just put their stuff wherever they like?

Even though we need to show special consideration for bereaved people, we also need to recognise that literally everyone is a bereaved person in the making. Since we will all have deceased loved ones to mourn at some point, it is perfectly reasonable to think "What if everyone did that?" when objects are left around in this way.

But a lot of memorialising involves ‘litter’ — even flowers on graves etc. I was in Newcastle recently and out by Tynemouth, every bench had bouquets of flowers tied to it. Roadside shrines often involve flowers, plastic wrapping, candles etc.

It is selfish and it is performative. I'm sick of seeing plastic flowers and flowers in plastic tied to benches along the seafront near me. Yes I get that the dearly departed used to enjoy walking there too, but the benches (that have plaques with other dearly departed names on them) can't be sat upon because of these awful "tributes ". Don't get me started on b**y balloons. Why would anyone want to release something into the environment that is a sure killer of other species? How is that a lovely tribute to a loved one? All this stuff should be banned.

Urgh I think these streets tributes are grim, sorry. Mawkish, performative and tatty. I understand people need to grieve but I don’t see why they have to do their grieving in a particularly polluted and horrible part of a dangerous A road.

Should probably not be stopped because its a free country but the person who starts them off should be responsible for clearing them.

People sometimes hammer tacky memorials to trees in one of my local woods.

Sometimes the memorial litter takes the form of badly positioned nesting boxes that the birds are never going to use. Nesting boxes! In a forest, that is full of trees, which are quite well known for their provision of natural bird nesting opportunities.

Don't know if these are the same people that fling dog poo bags into low-lying branches, but here's a thought: Why not tie a memorial message to one of the poo bags and kill two birds with one stone?

I had ‘vigils’ and balloon releases. It’s dangerous to wildlife and animals and I’m fed up of human selfishness and needing to make everything about them.
There are ways to remember your loved one that aren’t selfish.

A humans feelings should NEVER trump the welfare of other living things.

I unfortunately had a family member who died after hitting a tree in a car.

One of the things that gave me greatest comfort, at a very messy time when their death was plastered on the front page of the local rag, was that in the aftermath there was a vigil at the tree, of people and candles and tributes.

I’ve voted YABU because to me personally I know what it meant. I would not want it to stay forever, in fact I actively avoid driving down that road nowadays so it would be pointless to do it at the crash site. But when I see other people’s tributes I know why they are important to them. It marks that someone lived. Someone is missing. And that other people stand with you in remembering them. They won’t be forgotten. It’s really a fundamental part of being human. We’ve done it since the dawn of time.

It may be ribbons and balloons and tat, but every one is someone thinking of how special that person was to them. And in the absence of the person there, to love, feeling other people’s love for them really helped me personally.

It is litter and its messy. It's annoying people don't clean up after themselves.

Ribbons,balloons and decaying flowers in plastic packaging left on trees and lamp posts, parks don't serve any purpose. (Nor do they serve as a 'slow down' notice where the fatality has been due to speeding)

I absolutely hate balloons. People are so selfish they do not care what they do to wildlife. Seems to me that grieving gives you a free pass to be completely selfish and thoughtless. My best friend died last week. Will I honour her with balloons to ruin the environment. No I bluddy won't.

I think I know exactly what/where you’re referring to OP… I also saw the comments about it on Nextdoor

The balloons and ribbons have been there since at least last Thursday, and whilst I understand that it’s a well-intentioned tribute, they are already looking very tatty. It’s also the sheer scale of it… they stretch for over a mile.

i genuinely have sympathy for families in this awful situation, but really there should be some consideration (maybe from friends of the family) to take them down so that the tribute doesn’t become litter

Chipping in to say the real problem is when wildlife and livestock either injure themselves by getting tangled up in or eating the litter. This applies to all litter. I don't think a living creature should suffer because of someones grief (or someone being lazy not finding a bin for normal litter).

It's not grief intruding into our lives; it's performative.

YANBU. It looks awful.

YANBU.
If families want to put up posters-ok... but take the flipping things down afterwards! I loathe the entitled attitude which makes some think their 'memorial' is sacrosanct.
And don't get me started on balloon releases.. it's just floating chav litter. And so bad for wildlife, livestock and the environment. Grrrrr!
I don't care if it is unpopular .. ban it (balloon releases) or bin it (plastic ribbons, and associated tat) after the funeral. Simple.

Not quite the same thing, but I'm reminded of Willy Collins - the self-proclaimed King of Sheffield - and the gigantic 37-tonne marble memorial that his family constructed in the council-run cemetery.

It looked like a (not too) miniature ancient Graeco-Roman temple with all manner of embellishments, including a constantly-playing jukebox with all of his favourite songs on it.

I know the local council have had a long-running battle with his family over it, but I don't think it's ever been resolved yet.

A friend of mine found a man had hanged himself on a tree in her garden. A tragedy - yes - and my friend found him. Awful for all concerned.

But the bereaved family then wanted to set up a shrine under the tree and be allowed to visit whenever they wanted. My friend said no, and I think that’s fair enough. His shrine should be at his grave.

I generally find this a bit of an odd conversation. I think if you look at it from a place of expectations- do you expect there to be no litter/ unpleasant view as a standard?
Is that expectation more of less important than human emotions? If a family believes that their grieving involves ribbons, does that impact your expectation for no litter at all?

are there tiers of respectability? Would you say the same for ribbons put up for say, elsie dot stancombe, a 6 year old murdered in broad daylight? Is that better worse or the same than an 80 year who died from lung cancer?

it just opens up loads of questions about grief and the extent to which we are willing to allow it to intrude on our lives, and community and understanding. It’s quite interesting really.

Yes - the idiots who leave the wrapping on flowers so that composting isn’t possible.

So many thoughtless people.

An entitled imposition on public space, among other things.

I just hope they take them down afterwards. But I won’t hold my breath.

A young lad died in a car accident in the town I grew up in. The spot became a "tribute" site even after his funeral and when the Council attempted to clear it things got quite heated. There is now a floral planter there I think and possibly a mosaic or a mural. Which was a better long term way to remember him and also looks nicer than deflated balloons, rotted flowers and bottles of beer and cigarettes as well a bike helmets.

People near me do this now, it ends up tatty and littered everywhere but you can't criticise as people take it badly.

I've never seen it for a funeral but I've seen it lots of times to mark anniversaries at accident spots.

I do agree though, it just becomes filthy rubbish after a while and always someone else's job to remove it.

I wonder why all the mourners and grieving family & friends aren’t upset by the thought (and possibly the sight) of all that mournful tat flapping around like litter in the wind and rain?

I’d want it down and gone asap. Although to be honest, it wouldn’t cross my mind to do this kind of ‘decoration’ in the first place.

I see it as litter if the tributes aren't removed.

Maybe I see it wrong, but this all started after Diana died and the public embraced public grieving. I see a few pop up in my village occasionally, but after a week or so they get tidied away by the parish council.