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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give up on chronically late friend?

37 replies

NotQuiteUsual · 06/10/2025 10:03

I'm sat in wetherspoons on my own and will be for the next 20 minutes. Because despite telling her when my bus would be in she's not bothered to get to me on time. It's already half an hour after our agreed meeting time. So it'll be nearly a hour by the time she gets here.

This is far from an isolated event. She is constantly late. It feels so disrespectful. As well as some other questionable behaviour from her. I have severe mental health difficulties and getting out is really hard for me. I also can only manage a few hours out the house before I need to leave somewhere. She knows all this. But just doesn't seem to acknowledge it. Writing this all out I think iabu to continue to let her waste my time.

So mumsnet wibu to give up on this time waster?

OP posts:
LemonLeaves · 06/10/2025 10:35

MyOliveStork · 06/10/2025 10:25

Go home now, if you are feeling that fed up about the friendship. I think that’s what I would do.

Agree - this is what I'd do. Consistent and persistent lateness is rude.

MyOliveStork · 06/10/2025 10:25

Go home now, if you are feeling that fed up about the friendship. I think that’s what I would do.

Achewyhamster · 06/10/2025 10:23

I once had a friend (well,hes more dps mate) show up 9 and a half hours late (we where doing him a favour)

He's never been on time in his life and I find it bloody disrespectful

I pity his poor girlfriend who gave birth to one child,he got two dogs and she has to deal with them and him

In his case I think it's undiagnosed adhd but that's no help when you've wasted your evening waiting for him

randomchap · 06/10/2025 10:16

Assuming she is neuro typical then she's extremely rude.

I'd not continue with this friendship.

DinoLil · 06/10/2025 10:14

I'd leave and don't message her.

Why is her time any more important than yours?

AC246 · 06/10/2025 10:14

I would be gone. Not a chance I would tolerate this.
Let her turn up to you gone.

MsSmartShoes · 06/10/2025 10:14

my husband is always late - so I tell
him that I need him half an hour earlier than I really do.

mondaytosunday · 06/10/2025 10:14

I’d tell her if she’s not at any rendezvous within 15 minutes of the agreed time you are leaving. As you know when she’s coming today then she must have been in contact. I would have replied ‘don’t bother I’ve got things to do I can’t wait any longer’.

TheSwarm · 06/10/2025 10:13

I can't stand chronic lateness, I had friends like that who were late for everything. Coming to visit us? Oh, we're running late. Meeting for dinner? Oh, sorry, the traffic was really bad.

Just bin her off.

Danioyellow · 06/10/2025 10:10

Fuck that. She doesn’t care enough about you to give a shit. I’d leave now. I wouldn’t the point in continuing the friendship and today would be a waste of time, you’re already annoyed

Hankunamatata · 06/10/2025 10:09

There's two ways I handle this type

Either I go to their home in future. Or if arranging to meet I will make sure im doing something else - like shopping in town etc and expect them to be an hour later than I told them

Titasaducksarse · 06/10/2025 10:07

I'd wait until she arrives, let her order then get up and go saying how you've already been sat there an hour and now have things to do.