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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A double one on Rugby

163 replies

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 09:03

AIBU to say that Mumsnet is putting girls at risk by allowing the promotion on rugby on this site?

AIBU to say that given the risks of head injuries children under 18 (or maybe people with not-yet-fully-developed brains under 25) should not be allowed to consent to play contact rugby?

OP posts:
TheLemonPeach · 06/10/2025 11:21

You have the right to have an opinion.
It doesn't make you right or relevant 😂.

Don't encourage your kids to practice any sport, the risks of being inactive are way worst, but each to their own.

You might want to start researching the effect of child birth, carcinogen, inactivity, depression and anything that affect mental health negatively. You are in for a treat.

MrsBeltane · 06/10/2025 11:19

So unreasonable. Rugby is such an inclusive sport for all ages and sexes.

Couldyounot · 06/10/2025 11:17

Look OP, we get it. You hate rugby and everything that it represents. However, not everyone shares your view. The sport at minis age groups doesn't consist of much more than a bunch of children running around in the fresh air chucking a ball around anyway. Head injuries, whether actual or suspected, are taken extremely seriously these days. But you won't be interested in hearing that.

Pharazon · 06/10/2025 11:07

The riskiest sport, by far, for young people to be involved in is equestrian sport. And yet we never get these sort of hand-wringing posts about eventing.

Bobiverse · 06/10/2025 11:02

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 10:58

I think promoting rugby for months on end when it kills is F-ING EVIL. I believe my thread is the very opposite of insensitive and in bad taste. Moody's diagnosis is precisely why I have posted this after months of getting angry seeing mumsnet promote a sport which kills.

🙄

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 10:58

xSideshowAuntSallyXx · 06/10/2025 10:21

Have you deliberately decided today's the day for a thread like this when one of England's past rugby captains has just announced he has MND?

Seems a little insensitive and poor taste to start the baiting.

I think promoting rugby for months on end when it kills is F-ING EVIL. I believe my thread is the very opposite of insensitive and in bad taste. Moody's diagnosis is precisely why I have posted this after months of getting angry seeing mumsnet promote a sport which kills.

OP posts:
JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 10:56

This reply has been deleted

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1dayatatime · 06/10/2025 10:46

Unfortunately the MND is particularly associated with athletes and those that professional or intensively exercise a lot. It is not especially associated with rugby players, equally effects football players and intensive gym goers and is not related to impacts to the head.

On the other hand a lack of exercise will cause other health issues.

As with all things exercise or alcohol or in my case Galaxy chocolate bars - it should be "everything in moderation "

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-57431412?app-referrer=webview

Boxing

Motor neurone disease: Intense exercise increases risk, say scientists

Regular and strenuous exercise can increase the risk of MND in people who are vulnerable, scientists say.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-57431412?app-referrer=webview

Tigerbalmshark · 06/10/2025 10:35

DS plays. He’s 9. It’s such an incredibly supportive and encouraging environment.

He is short, skinny and quite sensitive, so definitely not your average rugby player. But there is none of the machismo you get with football. The coaches are really supportive and build the kids up. The dads shouting on the touchline are shouting positive things and clap both sides’ tries. The matches aren’t even scored at this age because it really isn’t about winning or losing. And honestly it is nice for a boy who is an only child to have other boys who like jumping all over each other and having that physical contact. And it is nice to have a sport to follow on TV (playing age grade rugby makes 6 nations seem more relatable)

I doubt he’ll carry on into secondary school because he is small and skinny and once the other kids hit puberty the size difference won’t be fun for him. But for the minute, it is great for him. No injuries in his age group so far, there are 50 of them and they have been playing for 4 years.

Rustymoo · 06/10/2025 10:30

You’re being unreasonable on both counts. Both my sons played from ages 8/9 right up until they were in their 20s. It was their choice and loved it. They have formed life long friendships and learned the value of teamwork. As long as children are playing for a club that is affiliated to the RFU then there are guidelines and regulations in place relating to safety etc.
OP, what would you do if your child was at a school where rugby was part of the PE curriculum? Do your children ride bikes etc.
We can’t wrap our children up in cotton wool.

xSideshowAuntSallyXx · 06/10/2025 10:21

Have you deliberately decided today's the day for a thread like this when one of England's past rugby captains has just announced he has MND?

Seems a little insensitive and poor taste to start the baiting.

Ablondiebutagoody · 06/10/2025 10:19

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 10:12

I am not saying I have the answers. But my starting point is that I would never encourage a kid of mine to play rugby, box, ride a motorbike, take up base jumping, take up extreme climbing or take up any of the Red Bull extreme sports where young men are doing massive quadruple backflips off insane ramps.

If I had a kid who really really really wanted to do one or two of these things then there's a problem - maybe allowing is the lesser of two evils, but to actively encourage is just wrong. Deeply wrong.

If I were even more cautious I'd add football to the list.

We don't all want to raise a bunch of milksops.

TheNightingalesStarling · 06/10/2025 10:18

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 10:13

Do you fall off a chair every single week year in year out, ending up dead at 40 due to cumulative damage? There is no comparison

Many rugby players never get even one head injury.

I hope you don't let your children ride bikes, or scooters.

Ooogle · 06/10/2025 10:16

My daughter started rugby last year. She now plays u10 with the boys as well as on the girls team. I can’t even tell you how much it’s increased her confidence. She’s strong, happy and fierce. She plays contact but no head injuries so far. Definitely fewer injuries than her football playing older brother.

both my kids do boxing too so you’d probably be horrified by me

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 10:13

TheNightingalesStarling · 06/10/2025 09:54

I got bad concussion after falling off a chair.

Theres risks everywhere in life. A sport which takes injury seriously is better than outright banning things and not teaching how to be safe.

Do you fall off a chair every single week year in year out, ending up dead at 40 due to cumulative damage? There is no comparison

OP posts:
Drivingmissrangey · 06/10/2025 10:12

Have headers been banned in youth football now?

Yes. Certainly for up to U10, no idea when it changes though.

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 10:12

childofthe607080s · 06/10/2025 10:00

What we now know about The risks from repeated head injuries in football as well as rugby and boxing would make me deter any child of mine from participating

how we keep such sports and reduce the risk to more acceptable levels I don’t know ?

I am not saying I have the answers. But my starting point is that I would never encourage a kid of mine to play rugby, box, ride a motorbike, take up base jumping, take up extreme climbing or take up any of the Red Bull extreme sports where young men are doing massive quadruple backflips off insane ramps.

If I had a kid who really really really wanted to do one or two of these things then there's a problem - maybe allowing is the lesser of two evils, but to actively encourage is just wrong. Deeply wrong.

If I were even more cautious I'd add football to the list.

OP posts:
JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 10:08

indoorplantqueen · 06/10/2025 09:52

Rugby has got much stricter about head contact and head injuries. but it’s probably come much too late. Just heard this morning Lewis moody (England international player) has been diagnosed with MND.

I posted this thread in response to being sick of seeing mumsnet promoting rugby for months on end, and then seeing the Moody story today

OP posts:
JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 10:08

HoppingPavlova · 06/10/2025 09:51

I am sure we can both list all sorts of sports and outdoor activities which do not present the same risks

The nastiest injury mine have suffered was from one playing a non-contact sport. Surgeries, ongoing orthopaedic specialty care for the better part of a year. So, none of this is foolproof.

Was it an injury that can lead to something like motor neurone disease (Rob Burrow, diagnosed at 37, dead at 41)?

OP posts:
childofthe607080s · 06/10/2025 10:00

What we now know about The risks from repeated head injuries in football as well as rugby and boxing would make me deter any child of mine from participating

how we keep such sports and reduce the risk to more acceptable levels I don’t know ?

TheNightingalesStarling · 06/10/2025 09:54

I got bad concussion after falling off a chair.

Theres risks everywhere in life. A sport which takes injury seriously is better than outright banning things and not teaching how to be safe.

indoorplantqueen · 06/10/2025 09:52

Rugby has got much stricter about head contact and head injuries. but it’s probably come much too late. Just heard this morning Lewis moody (England international player) has been diagnosed with MND.

HoppingPavlova · 06/10/2025 09:51

I am sure we can both list all sorts of sports and outdoor activities which do not present the same risks

The nastiest injury mine have suffered was from one playing a non-contact sport. Surgeries, ongoing orthopaedic specialty care for the better part of a year. So, none of this is foolproof.

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 09:43

HoppingPavlova · 06/10/2025 09:30

Dead right OP. Instead you should make them sit on a couch watching tv, or playing on a PlayStation or computer. Or, if you believe these are bad for them, then just make them sit and stare at the wall.

It’s all about risk. There’s virtually nothing in life risk free, trust me, I’ve seen pretty much enough to confidently say that. I believe they have modified rules in the junior sport to alleviate most of this risk. However, they could be running along, trip over their own feet, fall down with a direct head injury in the wrong place and die, seen a few of these over the decades. So, maybe they could just walk while they play and same for all other sports and people who jog/run🤣. Also, do t walk on pavements, I’ve had a few of these hit and killed by drivers who took their eyes off road/lost control. And a million other things.

I am sure we can both list all sorts of sports and outdoor activities which do not present the same risks.

Getting killed in a car crash or as a pedestrian can be mitigated to a large extent, but the difference is that giving up going anywhere is infinitely harder easier than giving up playing one sport out of dozens.

If I had a child who really really wanted to play rugby but hated all other sports then I might consent as a last resort.

OP posts:
JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 09:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You might as well say "bore off, I fell off my motorbike twice when I was younger and I was fine both times... no idea why you're worried that your son rides off at 90 mph on his ultra fast sports bike every sunday morning".

Hockey and cricket do not have the same issues with people taking repeated heavy head impacts.

Football - as I understand - massively discourages heading in training nowadays, and if I understand correctly the evidence of long term damage seems to relate to the players who were heading a very heavy wet ball in the 50s, 60s, 70s, and nowadays balls are much much lighter and waterproof so don't. Google AI suggest an old football was half a kilo and could reach up to 3 kilos when wet (I doubt it was that much, but they got a lot heavier I am sure). Modern balls simply do not gain significant weight.

Saying all of that, there is a strong argument that if you're not taking it seriously (forging a pro career) it makes sense to avoid all sports (including the three you mention) that have some risk of instant death due to a very hard ball flying at very fast speed (cricket and hockey) or long term damage (football).

OP posts: