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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A double one on Rugby

163 replies

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 09:03

AIBU to say that Mumsnet is putting girls at risk by allowing the promotion on rugby on this site?

AIBU to say that given the risks of head injuries children under 18 (or maybe people with not-yet-fully-developed brains under 25) should not be allowed to consent to play contact rugby?

OP posts:
Ooogle · 06/10/2025 15:48

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 15:38

I think the word "inclusive" is nonsense in this context.

People shout the word inclusive because they see something about it which makes it somewhat open to all (a women's toilet allowing in a trans'woman') being a perfect example.

But these same people tend to ignore the fact that a mixed sex toilet is not inclusive of SA survivors or orthodox jewish women, just like rigby isn't inclusive of people who hate team sports or contact sports or getting muddy or the risk of a life-shortening brain injury.

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Why are you so obsessed with likening everything to being trans? First you said I was the mother of a trans daughter simply because she’s plays rugby on a mixed team and now you’re banging on about toilets.

choose the issue you’re bothered about and stick with it.

TheLemonPeach · 06/10/2025 15:47

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 15:40

I understand why they push team sports fairly hard. But what I don't understand it why the team sport has to be rugby, or why they cannot much more quickly accept that some kids simply hate running and hate team sports, and if you want to encourage them to live an active life you need to get them to try cycling or swimming or table tennis or any number of other things that they could end up loving and pursuing for decades.

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some kids hate SPORTS, some kids hate reading, some kids hate maths, some kids hate anything that is not chocolate.

I suggest we ban absolutely everything compulsory and let children pick what they want. Oh what a wonderful world that will be 😂

(get them to try cycling or swimming or table tennis around here, the schools actually do just that, but let's not facts stop your wonderful rant)

TheLemonPeach · 06/10/2025 15:45

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 15:33

That is a silly question. Most sports involve the participants exhibiting specific physical skills that enable them to excel in the sport in question.

Obviously 100m is going to suit strong, explosive bodies; 10,000m is going to suit wiry bodies with stamina; obviously shot putt is going to suit bigger and stronger bodies.

There is nothing inherently good about a sport that suits a variety of bodies (not least if it involves small fast girls running headlong into much much bigger girls)/

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so you are talking absolute nonsense, and weirdly focused on bringing back to "trans" issues that have absolutely nothing to do with anything.

Thanks for confirming 😂

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 06/10/2025 15:44

Are you my ex husband?

He’s got a huge bee in his bonnet re rugby and head injuries

Original poster
JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 15:40

TheaBrandt1 · 06/10/2025 15:38

People don’t want hear this op. I don’t understand why private schools in particular push this sport so hard. My nephews are forced to play despite one actively not enjoying it.

I understand why they push team sports fairly hard. But what I don't understand it why the team sport has to be rugby, or why they cannot much more quickly accept that some kids simply hate running and hate team sports, and if you want to encourage them to live an active life you need to get them to try cycling or swimming or table tennis or any number of other things that they could end up loving and pursuing for decades.

OP posts:
Original poster
JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 15:38

Ooogle · 06/10/2025 15:32

But by this train of thought- nothing is inclusive?!

I don’t like sitting and watching telly so sitting and watching telly is not inclusive.

Show quote history

I think the word "inclusive" is nonsense in this context.

People shout the word inclusive because they see something about it which makes it somewhat open to all (a women's toilet allowing in a trans'woman') being a perfect example.

But these same people tend to ignore the fact that a mixed sex toilet is not inclusive of SA survivors or orthodox jewish women, just like rigby isn't inclusive of people who hate team sports or contact sports or getting muddy or the risk of a life-shortening brain injury.

OP posts:
TheaBrandt1 · 06/10/2025 15:38

People don’t want hear this op. I don’t understand why private schools in particular push this sport so hard. My nephews are forced to play despite one actively not enjoying it.

blueliner · 06/10/2025 15:37

OneFootAfterTheOther · 06/10/2025 15:18

To quote the nurses at my DCs school “”I hate rugby season”. Thankfully once they get a certain age they can opt out.

I’ve had one DC concussed and one off school for 4weeks with a foot injury. The school they go it is academically selective - why rugby (and heading football) is deemed a suitable compulsory activity I have no idea.

boys not girls

Original poster
JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 15:33

TheLemonPeach · 06/10/2025 15:13

what on earth are you on about? I am not entering your nonsense comment about disability, it's offensive.

But tell us, what SPORT is open to any woman of any shape, and what podium show us a team (or opponents) of different abilities and body shape, go on?

Show quote history

That is a silly question. Most sports involve the participants exhibiting specific physical skills that enable them to excel in the sport in question.

Obviously 100m is going to suit strong, explosive bodies; 10,000m is going to suit wiry bodies with stamina; obviously shot putt is going to suit bigger and stronger bodies.

There is nothing inherently good about a sport that suits a variety of bodies (not least if it involves small fast girls running headlong into much much bigger girls)/

OP posts:
Ooogle · 06/10/2025 15:32

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 15:29

It is serious, yes.

The term is often used in the context of trans "this space is inclusive of trans women" even though it excludes women who want or need a single sex space.

It's like a small village lacks community spirit... so they refurbish and re-open the old church and because they're inclusive they welcome everyone.... but it's not that inclusive of atheists or muslims or hindus.

Is rugby inclusive of people who hate being part of a team or who hate mud or hate running or hate physical contact with people they don't know well? No.

Rugby, like pretty much all inclusive things, is not really inclusive, it's a meaningless platitude.

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But by this train of thought- nothing is inclusive?!

I don’t like sitting and watching telly so sitting and watching telly is not inclusive.

Original poster
JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 15:30

Arlanymor · 06/10/2025 15:27

You most certainly can play rugby if you are visually impaired - it's called VI Rugby. You can also play rugby if you have hearing impairments, use a wheelchair - honestly you name it, there have been plenty of adaptions to the game in order to make it as inclusive as it can be. There's even autism-friendly rugby programmes and a club near me - Llanelli Warriors - where half of the players are registered disabled has been going since 1995.

Rugby offers mental health and physical health benefits, teaches respect, leadership, teamwork and discipline, and builds friendships and a sense of community. I'm 46 and I played as a kid and all the way through university - I have never once had a head injury, I've broken a few bones, but I have done that in other ways - most recently by catching my thumb in the car door. It has never been safer to play rugby than it is now, both in terms of the code and in terms of the equipment available.

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I was talking about rugby and the risks of rugby, not disability forms of rugby that I know nothing about.

I can imagine rugby for blind people is more inclusive of blind people than actual rugby.

OP posts:
Original poster
JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 15:29

1dayatatime · 06/10/2025 15:07

WTF -"rugby is only inclusive to those that want to play rugby "

Is this a serious comment?

Show quote history

It is serious, yes.

The term is often used in the context of trans "this space is inclusive of trans women" even though it excludes women who want or need a single sex space.

It's like a small village lacks community spirit... so they refurbish and re-open the old church and because they're inclusive they welcome everyone.... but it's not that inclusive of atheists or muslims or hindus.

Is rugby inclusive of people who hate being part of a team or who hate mud or hate running or hate physical contact with people they don't know well? No.

Rugby, like pretty much all inclusive things, is not really inclusive, it's a meaningless platitude.

OP posts:
Arlanymor · 06/10/2025 15:27

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 15:02

You can't do rugby if you are blind or have a body that hates contact sports. It is opnly inclusive of some peopel who want to play rugby.

"Free cash" is about the only thing that is truly inclusive.

I am arguing against the nonsensical idea of "inclusive" in this post.

Show quote history

You most certainly can play rugby if you are visually impaired - it's called VI Rugby. You can also play rugby if you have hearing impairments, use a wheelchair - honestly you name it, there have been plenty of adaptions to the game in order to make it as inclusive as it can be. There's even autism-friendly rugby programmes and a club near me - Llanelli Warriors - where half of the players are registered disabled has been going since 1995.

Rugby offers mental health and physical health benefits, teaches respect, leadership, teamwork and discipline, and builds friendships and a sense of community. I'm 46 and I played as a kid and all the way through university - I have never once had a head injury, I've broken a few bones, but I have done that in other ways - most recently by catching my thumb in the car door. It has never been safer to play rugby than it is now, both in terms of the code and in terms of the equipment available.

1dayatatime · 06/10/2025 15:25

blueliner · 06/10/2025 15:10

Why girls?

Surely girls are far less likely to get serious head injuries that boys and men.

Actually there was an amusing incident in one of my daughter's rugby games where a girl was straightening her ponytail after a tackle. The referee saw her with hands to the head and immediately sent her off for a head injury impact assessment despite her protesting it was only her ponytail.

Meanwhile her team mates were pissing themselves laughing.

spoonbillstretford · 06/10/2025 15:25

HoppingPavlova · 06/10/2025 09:30

Dead right OP. Instead you should make them sit on a couch watching tv, or playing on a PlayStation or computer. Or, if you believe these are bad for them, then just make them sit and stare at the wall.

It’s all about risk. There’s virtually nothing in life risk free, trust me, I’ve seen pretty much enough to confidently say that. I believe they have modified rules in the junior sport to alleviate most of this risk. However, they could be running along, trip over their own feet, fall down with a direct head injury in the wrong place and die, seen a few of these over the decades. So, maybe they could just walk while they play and same for all other sports and people who jog/run🤣. Also, do t walk on pavements, I’ve had a few of these hit and killed by drivers who took their eyes off road/lost control. And a million other things.

But it doesn't have to be one extreme or another. Team sports can be modified to lower risk. In professional men's rugby a lot of the players towards the front in particular are much larger than is healthy for anyone. However fit they are it's huge strain on the heart to be tall and heavy. People don't have to play sport at all to be healthy, being active is the key.

Bonjamin · 06/10/2025 15:25

Anything they want, because ours are very cautious - if anything it would be good if they took more risks.

You don't say. Hmm

OneFootAfterTheOther · 06/10/2025 15:18

To quote the nurses at my DCs school “”I hate rugby season”. Thankfully once they get a certain age they can opt out.

I’ve had one DC concussed and one off school for 4weeks with a foot injury. The school they go it is academically selective - why rugby (and heading football) is deemed a suitable compulsory activity I have no idea.

Rustymoo · 06/10/2025 15:16

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 13:44

Anything they want, because ours are very cautious - if anything it would be good if they took more risks.

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Sorry this seems contradictory or perhaps I’m missing something. One the hand you don’t want them playing rugby etc but you say they can do anything they want and you say it would be good if they take risks! It doesn’t make sense

BeMellowAquaSquid · 06/10/2025 15:16

Need to ban tiddly winks too - finger strain and all that

blueliner · 06/10/2025 15:15

Ban horse riding while you at it and ballet. Eating disorders are much more prevalent among ballet dancers can lead to premature death and a life time of misery. And the feet, neck and hip injuries. Ban ballet?

Tigerbalmshark · 06/10/2025 15:14

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 15:02

You can't do rugby if you are blind or have a body that hates contact sports. It is opnly inclusive of some peopel who want to play rugby.

"Free cash" is about the only thing that is truly inclusive.

I am arguing against the nonsensical idea of "inclusive" in this post.

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Visually impaired rugby is a real Paralympic discipline. And generations of public school boys will confirm that you certainly can be made to do rugby even if you hate it/contact sports.

TheLemonPeach · 06/10/2025 15:13

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 15:02

You can't do rugby if you are blind or have a body that hates contact sports. It is opnly inclusive of some peopel who want to play rugby.

"Free cash" is about the only thing that is truly inclusive.

I am arguing against the nonsensical idea of "inclusive" in this post.

Show quote history

what on earth are you on about? I am not entering your nonsense comment about disability, it's offensive.

But tell us, what SPORT is open to any woman of any shape, and what podium show us a team (or opponents) of different abilities and body shape, go on?

Scottishskifun · 06/10/2025 15:12

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 15:02

You can't do rugby if you are blind or have a body that hates contact sports. It is opnly inclusive of some peopel who want to play rugby.

"Free cash" is about the only thing that is truly inclusive.

I am arguing against the nonsensical idea of "inclusive" in this post.

Show quote history

Clearly your not up to date with your para-sports either OP.
Visually impaired rugby is very much a sport like Visually impaired football.

Also wheelchair rugby is awesome and those players are amazing to watch.

blueliner · 06/10/2025 15:10

Why girls?

Surely girls are far less likely to get serious head injuries that boys and men.

1dayatatime · 06/10/2025 15:07

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 15:02

You can't do rugby if you are blind or have a body that hates contact sports. It is opnly inclusive of some peopel who want to play rugby.

"Free cash" is about the only thing that is truly inclusive.

I am arguing against the nonsensical idea of "inclusive" in this post.

Show quote history

WTF -"rugby is only inclusive to those that want to play rugby "

Is this a serious comment?