A double one on Rugby

JamieCannister · 2025-10-06T08:03:44+00:00

AIBU to say that Mumsnet is putting girls at risk by allowing the promotion on rugby on this site? AIBU to say that given the risks of head injuries children under 18 (or maybe people with not-yet-fully-developed brains under 25) should not be allowed to consent to play contact rugby?

1dayatatime · 10/10/2025 15:28

Horse riding is by far the highest risk activity for young people:

https://injuryprevention.bmj.com/content/30/1/60

Rustymoo · 08/10/2025 09:45

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 16:07

I cannot speak of martial arts, but other than rugby, american football and boxing (and gaelic football, aussie rules?!??!?!) where repeated heavy head impacts are ineitable.

The keys risks are "massively harmful injury from a one-off incident" (equestrianism, rugby, boxing all fall into this) and "repeated minor incidents that when added up can do massive long term harm (rugby and boxing, not equestrianism).

Personally I hate the thought of a kid of mine riding a horse, but at least it does not come with regular head impacts as a natural part of the game.

Also, I think I said rugby not touch rugby when I talked about banning.

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My DIL does eventing and showjumping and has had more injuries than my son has playing rugby and he was a forward. Research has shown that horse riding is more dangerous than rugby and has
more incidents of traumatic head injuries and concussions.

Original poster

JamieCannister · 08/10/2025 08:05

Obeseandashamed · 07/10/2025 21:20

YABU - slight whiff of a head injury and juniors aren’t allowed to play for a couple of weeks even if they appear fit to play/no actual injury.

My concern is much longer term. Rugby has these protocols (at last) because men and women are dying. Suicides (linked to head injuries) and "natural" deaths from things like MND. Men and women dying in their 20s, 30s, 40s.

Whilst I am concerned at the possibility of an accident / broken back, or multiple concussions in kids doing long term harm, my concern is much more for those who play as adults at a very high level... which if they play as a kid and fall in love with the sport they might.

OP posts:

Original poster

JamieCannister · 08/10/2025 07:40

Ooogle · 07/10/2025 20:45

She plays u10 with her friends not ‘bad boys or men’

she also doesn’t spoil their sport. She’s taller and faster than most of them for a start!

and you absolutely did say I was like the mother of a trans child

Edited

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I apologise for saying that.

OP posts:

Original poster

JamieCannister · 08/10/2025 07:39

bittertwisted · 07/10/2025 20:35

This makes no sense
are good boys allowed to play with these bad boys? Or do you genuinely think boys who want to harm girls deliberately target rugby because girls play?

and what has this got to do with head injuries?

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Both sexes rights to single sex sport are a tangential issue to the OP

OP posts:

TheaBrandt1 · 08/10/2025 03:43

Agree TheDenim. Yes surely there is a middle ground between being a sedentary gamer couch potato and flinging your kid into the scrum every Saturday for 7 years.

It’s basically an inconvenient truth the rugby parents don’t want to hear.

Other sports of which there are many don’t seem to have the same risk profile. Hockey netball cricket football volleyball etc. What’s weird to me is the real pushing of this particular sport on all the boys by private schools - even boys that don’t really want to do it are forced and parents largely love it.

TheDenimPoet · 07/10/2025 22:53

HoppingPavlova · 06/10/2025 09:30

Dead right OP. Instead you should make them sit on a couch watching tv, or playing on a PlayStation or computer. Or, if you believe these are bad for them, then just make them sit and stare at the wall.

It’s all about risk. There’s virtually nothing in life risk free, trust me, I’ve seen pretty much enough to confidently say that. I believe they have modified rules in the junior sport to alleviate most of this risk. However, they could be running along, trip over their own feet, fall down with a direct head injury in the wrong place and die, seen a few of these over the decades. So, maybe they could just walk while they play and same for all other sports and people who jog/run🤣. Also, do t walk on pavements, I’ve had a few of these hit and killed by drivers who took their eyes off road/lost control. And a million other things.

This is a little silly, isn't it? Yes, there are lots of risks in life. But a sport that literally involves being grabbed and dragged to the floor, getting knees to the head and people piling on top of you, is a completely unnecessary risk to take, when there are so many safer sports.

But no, you continue being dramatic.

FrothyCothy · 07/10/2025 21:35

TheNightingalesStarling · 07/10/2025 20:41

You'll be relieved to know then that Rugby separates into Boys and Girls at U12. Its only at Primary school level it is mixed.

Indeed. It was one of the first sporting bodies to protect single sex sport for women and girls as well. And rugby is one of the most gay-friendly spaces in sport, at least in the women’s section!

DD has played for just over 2 years and we’ve fortunately not seen or experienced a concussion in that time though obviously it’s a known risk. I do on the one hand take OP’s point that all the head injury protections in the world are too late once the concussion has taken place. On the other hand, what DD has got from rugby (and it really is the only sport she has ever shown any interest in) I couldn’t put a price on. I am conscious of the risks and it does make me think twice. However, to counter that, I can see that in training 90% of their time is spent on learning how to do everything safely - tackling, falling, rucking, passing, etc etc. So we have to weigh it all up and do what we think is best.

The comment about cricket made me laugh - DH’s worst concussion came from a cricket ball to the head - and he was wearing a helmet. Shortly followed by another in hockey - while also wearing a helmet 🙄

Obeseandashamed · 07/10/2025 21:20

YABU - slight whiff of a head injury and juniors aren’t allowed to play for a couple of weeks even if they appear fit to play/no actual injury.

Ooogle · 07/10/2025 20:45

JamieCannister · 07/10/2025 17:36

I swear I don't recall what I said and cannot believe I said you were "like a mother of a trans child because my daughter plays rugby on a mixed team with boys."

I can believe I said that boys have a right to sport without girls and I think that anyone encouraging girls to play sports with boys is putting the girls at risk, as well as risking causing harm to the boys in ways other than safety.

Some boys and men are bad people, and you would be crazy to allow your daughter to play with bad boys or men.

Good boys and men will hold back when playing with girls, for obvious reasons. Why do girls have a right to spoil sports for good boys and men?

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She plays u10 with her friends not ‘bad boys or men’

she also doesn’t spoil their sport. She’s taller and faster than most of them for a start!

and you absolutely did say I was like the mother of a trans child

TheNightingalesStarling · 07/10/2025 20:41

You'll be relieved to know then that Rugby separates into Boys and Girls at U12. Its only at Primary school level it is mixed.

bittertwisted · 07/10/2025 20:35

JamieCannister · 07/10/2025 17:36

I swear I don't recall what I said and cannot believe I said you were "like a mother of a trans child because my daughter plays rugby on a mixed team with boys."

I can believe I said that boys have a right to sport without girls and I think that anyone encouraging girls to play sports with boys is putting the girls at risk, as well as risking causing harm to the boys in ways other than safety.

Some boys and men are bad people, and you would be crazy to allow your daughter to play with bad boys or men.

Good boys and men will hold back when playing with girls, for obvious reasons. Why do girls have a right to spoil sports for good boys and men?

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This makes no sense
are good boys allowed to play with these bad boys? Or do you genuinely think boys who want to harm girls deliberately target rugby because girls play?

and what has this got to do with head injuries?

xSideshowAuntSallyXx · 07/10/2025 18:06

JamieCannister · 07/10/2025 17:36

I swear I don't recall what I said and cannot believe I said you were "like a mother of a trans child because my daughter plays rugby on a mixed team with boys."

I can believe I said that boys have a right to sport without girls and I think that anyone encouraging girls to play sports with boys is putting the girls at risk, as well as risking causing harm to the boys in ways other than safety.

Some boys and men are bad people, and you would be crazy to allow your daughter to play with bad boys or men.

Good boys and men will hold back when playing with girls, for obvious reasons. Why do girls have a right to spoil sports for good boys and men?

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Oh don't try and lie your way out of it. You said exactly what she said. Which was absolutely disgraceful.

Original poster

JamieCannister · 07/10/2025 17:39

Anyway, that is all a distraction - the point is that rugby - certainly if played at a high level for a long time, but also if you;re unlucky and are paralized from the neck down - is incredibly risky and can destroy lives.

IMHO it is immoral to promote such a dangerous sport, and kids cannot consent to playing a sport (even at non-contact level) because they might fall in love with it when they are too young to understand that it might end up killing them

OP posts:

PaellaPan · 07/10/2025 17:39

JamieCannister · 07/10/2025 17:36

I swear I don't recall what I said and cannot believe I said you were "like a mother of a trans child because my daughter plays rugby on a mixed team with boys."

I can believe I said that boys have a right to sport without girls and I think that anyone encouraging girls to play sports with boys is putting the girls at risk, as well as risking causing harm to the boys in ways other than safety.

Some boys and men are bad people, and you would be crazy to allow your daughter to play with bad boys or men.

Good boys and men will hold back when playing with girls, for obvious reasons. Why do girls have a right to spoil sports for good boys and men?

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@Ooogle 's recollection is a lot better than yours. What you have written there is absolutely nothing like what you wrote yesterday, which is not much less unreasonable.

Original poster

JamieCannister · 07/10/2025 17:36

Ooogle · 06/10/2025 21:29

You said I was like a mother of a trans child because my daughter plays rugby on a mixed team with boys. You said the boys shouldn’t be forced to play with her. I didn’t report your comment but it was deleted anyway as it was against guidelines. You made a really odd leap equating my little girl playing rugby with her friends to me being a mother of a trans child. It might not have been what you meant but it was how it came across.

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I swear I don't recall what I said and cannot believe I said you were "like a mother of a trans child because my daughter plays rugby on a mixed team with boys."

I can believe I said that boys have a right to sport without girls and I think that anyone encouraging girls to play sports with boys is putting the girls at risk, as well as risking causing harm to the boys in ways other than safety.

Some boys and men are bad people, and you would be crazy to allow your daughter to play with bad boys or men.

Good boys and men will hold back when playing with girls, for obvious reasons. Why do girls have a right to spoil sports for good boys and men?

OP posts:

Pharazon · 07/10/2025 12:04

TheLemonPeach · 07/10/2025 11:47

you need to shut up now

Your post was reported by several posters and deleted for a reason.
Mixing trans issues and rugby is offensive and won't be tolerated on here.

It goes well to show that your entire argument and thread are all nonsense.

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The oddest thing about the comment is that rugby has been one of the sports in the forefront of ensuring that women are not forced to play with men.

TheLemonPeach · 07/10/2025 11:47

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 19:29

I swear to god I did not say that - I would not say that. Are you sure that wasn't someone else deliberately using a very similar user name?!?!?!

I swear swear swear I did not say that.

My issue is with kids playing rugby, because they are too young to consent to the risks. If girls want to get muddy then they are girls who happen to want to get

I don;t even believe trans kids exist... in fact I am not even sure I believe trans adults exist

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you need to shut up now

Your post was reported by several posters and deleted for a reason.
Mixing trans issues and rugby is offensive and won't be tolerated on here.

It goes well to show that your entire argument and thread are all nonsense.

Tigerbalmshark · 06/10/2025 22:30

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 19:29

I swear to god I did not say that - I would not say that. Are you sure that wasn't someone else deliberately using a very similar user name?!?!?!

I swear swear swear I did not say that.

My issue is with kids playing rugby, because they are too young to consent to the risks. If girls want to get muddy then they are girls who happen to want to get

I don;t even believe trans kids exist... in fact I am not even sure I believe trans adults exist

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We all read it. You were deleted for it at 10:56 on page 2. The responses on p2-3 to your deleted comment also make it clear what you said.

Stop trying to pretend “somebody with a similar username must have said it” - it is transparent self-serving shite. We can all see it was you.

Ooogle · 06/10/2025 21:29

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 19:29

I swear to god I did not say that - I would not say that. Are you sure that wasn't someone else deliberately using a very similar user name?!?!?!

I swear swear swear I did not say that.

My issue is with kids playing rugby, because they are too young to consent to the risks. If girls want to get muddy then they are girls who happen to want to get

I don;t even believe trans kids exist... in fact I am not even sure I believe trans adults exist

Show quote history

You said I was like a mother of a trans child because my daughter plays rugby on a mixed team with boys. You said the boys shouldn’t be forced to play with her. I didn’t report your comment but it was deleted anyway as it was against guidelines. You made a really odd leap equating my little girl playing rugby with her friends to me being a mother of a trans child. It might not have been what you meant but it was how it came across.

1dayatatime · 06/10/2025 19:40

Pharazon · 06/10/2025 17:41

Or, no doubt, mountain biking, rock climbing, snowboarding, skiing, motocross, BMX, or anything else remotely fun.

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Cumulatively- snow boarding, rock climbing, motocross, mountain biking and skiing PLUS rugby whilst a lot of fun would significantly increase the risk of your child being injured (as well as costing an absolute fortune!).

Individually of course each of those activities carries a much lower risk. In addition each of activities provides physical benefits to the child.

So it is simply a question of how much risk of physical injury or harm you wish to avoid for your child set against the development harm that you cause your child's development by them not experiencing and dealing with risk.

Original poster

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 19:29

Tigerbalmshark · 06/10/2025 18:49

You told a specific poster that their daughter was probably secretly trans because why else would she enjoy playing rugby. That is why you were deleted.

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I swear to god I did not say that - I would not say that. Are you sure that wasn't someone else deliberately using a very similar user name?!?!?!

I swear swear swear I did not say that.

My issue is with kids playing rugby, because they are too young to consent to the risks. If girls want to get muddy then they are girls who happen to want to get

I don;t even believe trans kids exist... in fact I am not even sure I believe trans adults exist

OP posts:

HairyToity · 06/10/2025 19:13

I've never taken my DC to rugby due to the risks. I don't voice my concerns with real life friends as I suspect they'd think it ridiculous but I believe there are safer sports. Obviously there is risk in everything, but I try to reduce it where possible.

Tigerbalmshark · 06/10/2025 18:49

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 18:34

That is not what I said - I can;t remember what I said but I think it it was making the comaprison that some things kids are too young to consent to - I include tattoos, transitioning and undertaking contact rugby which risks early death due to repeated head injuries.

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You told a specific poster that their daughter was probably secretly trans because why else would she enjoy playing rugby. That is why you were deleted.

Original poster

JamieCannister · 06/10/2025 18:36

TheLemonPeach · 06/10/2025 16:35

I might consider advocating banning them.
😂

You do that, as if it will make any kind of difference to anything.

I am not researching the number of injuries, broken bones and head injuries in playgrounds and playparks for you, you can do it yourself.

Even inflatables have, sadly, records of casualties. So knock yourself out with advocating banning everything you don't agree with.

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I have never heard of anyone dying aged 40 due to repeated head injuries from adventrue playgrounds.

There are massive issues with rugby. It is not difficult.

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