Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed that my mom's husband donated things I would have loved

181 replies

Kate8889 · 06/10/2025 07:26

My mom husband (I was 23 when they met so don't see him as a father figure) recently donated a big box of video games, consoles etc, I saw it in a box in the garage. I have always wanted to have a video game system but have never been able to afford one.

I asked my mom if I could possibly have some of the items and she said no, these were specifically going for donation to be dropped off at a local store.

I asked if I could possibly buy with a discount, also told no, that there are things that remind him of a past relationship and he doesn't want to see them when he visits my house.

OP posts:
DarlingHoldMyHand · 06/10/2025 08:01

tequilam0ckingbird · 06/10/2025 07:54

Yes, but other people have video games consoles in their homes. Does he freak out when he sees those too?

Show quote history

No - those aren't his console.

Original poster
Kate8889 · 06/10/2025 08:01

Untailored · 06/10/2025 07:41

It’s his choice but I think it’s quite mean. Most normal people would give something they were getting rid of to a family member who showed interest. Why wouldn’t you?

Is this a one-off OP or typical of his behaviour to you?

Generally he's been ok since I've moved out

OP posts:
opencecilgee · 06/10/2025 08:00

he sounds quite miserable. A games console would trigger bad memories? He’s obviously had them for years if they’re okd and he’s donating

Starlight7080 · 06/10/2025 08:00

If its from 2013 it will be really out of date . You can get more modern ones at reasonable prices second hand .
It probably doesnt work very well if been in a damp area.
And to be fair I bet it won't sell in a charity shop.
Wouldn't take much to save for a console . Obviously not the most up to date model. But one not over 10 years old.

applespeck · 06/10/2025 07:58

From your update he sounds a deeply unpleasant and quite controlling man. My guess is that he enjoyed saying No to you.

Original poster
Kate8889 · 06/10/2025 07:58

Deadringer · 06/10/2025 07:56

So you moved out of our home because of this arsehole and now he is giving away stuff that you and your could kids could use? I would be raging but I don't suppose there is anything you can do.

I mean it worked well for me, my then boyfriend and I ended up getting married and having our wonderful children. But yes, he made me feel very unwelcome in my own space that I helped pay for.

OP posts:
Deadringer · 06/10/2025 07:56

So you moved out of our home because of this arsehole and now he is giving away stuff that you and your could kids could use? I would be raging but I don't suppose there is anything you can do.

PollyBell · 06/10/2025 07:55

Why cant you accept the word no, they are his things he gets to choose enough has to be enough when someone says no

samplesalequeen · 06/10/2025 07:55

That’s really mean, there are no two ways about it.

imagine a grown man behaving like that.

tequilam0ckingbird · 06/10/2025 07:54

DarlingHoldMyHand · 06/10/2025 07:53

My husband broke up with his ex-girlfriend because he spent too much time on the PlayStation. She then died of natural causes and he really regrets the way their relationship ended. He no longer games. It could be something like that for all we know. Honestly, we don't know and I think people calling him "mean" need to understand there are reasons why someone would want to be rid of this stuff.

Show quote history

Yes, but other people have video games consoles in their homes. Does he freak out when he sees those too?

DarlingHoldMyHand · 06/10/2025 07:53

Untailored · 06/10/2025 07:49

It’s a PlayStation though. Not a framed photograph or an engraved watch. How can emotional trauma be attached to a bloody games console. He just didn’t want the OP to have it, probably simply because she would’ve liked to have it.

Show quote history

My husband broke up with his ex-girlfriend because he spent too much time on the PlayStation. She then died of natural causes and he really regrets the way their relationship ended. He no longer games. It could be something like that for all we know. Honestly, we don't know and I think people calling him "mean" need to understand there are reasons why someone would want to be rid of this stuff.

tequilam0ckingbird · 06/10/2025 07:53

Untailored · 06/10/2025 07:49

It’s a PlayStation though. Not a framed photograph or an engraved watch. How can emotional trauma be attached to a bloody games console. He just didn’t want the OP to have it, probably simply because she would’ve liked to have it.

Show quote history

Exactly this! I don't understand how people can be so attached to generic electrical items that many others will have in their homes.

Reading the OP's other responses it sounds like the step dad is a bit of an arse.

Original poster
Kate8889 · 06/10/2025 07:53

Deadringer · 06/10/2025 07:52

Out of interest, is it your mums house, or his?

My mom's, I helped buy it and she bought me out when I moved. He's really insecure about it.

OP posts:
Deadringer · 06/10/2025 07:52

Out of interest, is it your mums house, or his?

Original poster
Kate8889 · 06/10/2025 07:51

lljkk · 06/10/2025 07:49

Who paid for the PS originally, and how long ago? Did your folks play lots with the PS but then got bored of it? What games did they have?

Why are you blaming your step-dad when your mom said "said no, these were specifically going for donation to be dropped off at a local store."

This PS was purchased by someone before 2013, not sure who, but it was with my mom's husband's things he wanted to get rid of. My mom doesn't play video games. She would have been fine with me having it if not for him saying it must get donated.

OP posts:
Puzzledtoday · 06/10/2025 07:50

Sorry OP but he might be finding your insistence quite annoying. Which is not to say that he can’t be annoying or unreasonable himself.

Original poster
Kate8889 · 06/10/2025 07:50

Puzzledtoday · 06/10/2025 07:48

But if it’s something you really want, it would be worth saving up?

Show quote history

Helping family comes first and I have two children and a grandmother who I try to save up for.

OP posts:
lljkk · 06/10/2025 07:49

Who paid for the PS originally, and how long ago? Did your folks play lots with the PS but then got bored of it? What games did they have?

Why are you blaming your step-dad when your mom said "said no, these were specifically going for donation to be dropped off at a local store."

Untailored · 06/10/2025 07:49

DarlingHoldMyHand · 06/10/2025 07:41

If they only visit you 2-3 times per year, and you can store them away when they visit, then his reasoning is ridiculous and it's clearly because he didn't want you to have them.

There are some items I have had in my life that I just want gone and to never think about again. I wouldn't like them to be at the house of someone I knew being hidden for visits - I have just wanted to get rid of them and never think about them again. Do people commenting not understand this?

It’s a PlayStation though. Not a framed photograph or an engraved watch. How can emotional trauma be attached to a bloody games console. He just didn’t want the OP to have it, probably simply because she would’ve liked to have it.

Owly11 · 06/10/2025 07:49

I think he is being mean but there’s nothing you can do about it.

Deadringer · 06/10/2025 07:48

He can do what he wants with his stuff but he sounds like a right arsehole to me. What normal person gets rid of stuff that they know someone in the family would love but can't afford?

Puzzledtoday · 06/10/2025 07:48

Kate8889 · 06/10/2025 07:46

I have, everything is more expensive than I can justify to myself

Edited
Show quote history

But if it’s something you really want, it would be worth saving up?

Original poster
Kate8889 · 06/10/2025 07:48

DarlingHoldMyHand · 06/10/2025 07:43

As someone who has given away items like this, it wouldn't and I think you are being incredibly selfish.

Show quote history

I can see this side of things

OP posts:
Comedycook · 06/10/2025 07:48

They sound really mean

Original poster
Kate8889 · 06/10/2025 07:46

Puzzledtoday · 06/10/2025 07:46

But it isn’t the same for him because he’d know you have them. Maybe hes just being mean, but it’s quite possible that they have bad associations for him and he wants them away from his current life.
If you want something like that so much, have you tried looking on eBay?

Show quote history

I have, everything is more expensive than I can justify to myself

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread