I have been with my partner for almost 3 years. He has no children and his own place. I have one school age child and my own place. We live around 45 minutes to an hour away from each other.
We don’t obviously live together, but we both would like to at some point in the future and for our relationship to progress to the next level at some point, but there’s one main issue that’s preventing that at the moment.
I live in a small bungalow style house. It is perfect for me and my child. We both have disabilities and health issues and a lot of money has been spent adapting the house to suit our needs. It is close to my child’s school, we have really good neighbours, etc. It is a small bungalow, we don’t have a spare bedroom and all the rooms are next to or opposite each other. It’s not currently possible to move because of finding somewhere suitable for our disabilities and my child finally being settled in a house and struggling with change (autism).
My partner works in a shift pattern role and really, they are all quite disruptive to our home life. Early shifts means that he leaves the house around 4am (hence why I’m awake now!) and because of the lay out of the house, I can hear when he is getting ready which then disturbs me. Late shifts means that he doesn’t get in until nearly 11pm, when I’m normally asleep by then and again, then get disturbed by him coming in. Night shits means he sleeps all day which then prevents me having access to the bedroom when I need it (because of my disability I sometimes need a day or two where I can sleep some of my symptoms off) and again, him getting ready when everyone else is settling down to bed.
In all honesty, I think the only way we could ever progress our relationship and live together would be if he did a normal working hour job role. We are a house that thrives off a routine and his working hours are so disruptive to us, but he doesn’t want to work a “boring desk job” either. We have tried different solutions but none of them have worked in the long term.
Who is right/wrong in this situation and is there another solution?