Partner refusing to pay

I’ve just thought and I hate to say it… do you think he’s doing this to not only force you to divorce him, but to ensure you can’t get any child support from him? I know an arsehole who is openly refusing to get a job until his divorce is finalised for this very reason.

You still need legal advice pronto. Use the law to let him out or break the stalemate.

How is he funding his day to day life? Food? Petrol?
What does he do all day to pass the time?

Make sure that when the proceeds of the sale are divided, his backlog of what he owes you gets deducted from his share.

Lower the asking price for a quick sale. Everything sells at the right price and if you aren't asking the right price you are losing money Every month.

Stop using the word Partner of this man. He is your ex that you haven't been able to move away from yet.

Seems very strange suddenly stopped

hope house sells soon and yes speak to mortgage company and pay interest if cant do full amount and drop price a little if you can

how old is dc and can you afford the childcare tho again if you did get help via uc wage depending they pay 85% of costs up to an amount

She may not know that she could be entities to UC . She may think that as they in the same house it would be a no.

However , op should apply as they have separated and a high chance she will get some top up.
Then she should apply for CMS @Eeeek1

That's good, but maybe get that in writing.

Because he is unemployed he will claim to be primary carer. She could get 50/50 but that maybe something she has to go to court and fight for which will cost her thousands. 50/50 is more common now as generally both parents work, but isn't always guaranteed.

I was thinking along these lines too. He will claim to be the primary carer, you will end up paying cs while he sits on benefit. What is he doing all day?

I think you should get legal advice on getting the money you are paying for hos shqre from the proceeds of the sale?

And I’d bloody add the cost of half of every roll of toilet paper he doesn’t contribute to but uses to wipe his useless arse too

This

also see if he’ll at least sign something to say any of his share of bills and mortgage he doesn’t pay before it sells will come off his share of the house once sold to repay you
don’t need a lawyer for that, just needs to be an IOU and make it sure it says will come out of house if not paid before - keep a spreadsheet running that you update and send to him every single time he doesn’t pay his half of a bill

You can be counted as formally separated even though you live under the same roof. Do that. Move into DD's room if you don't have a spare room. Then claim any benefits that being a single parent may entitled you to and CMS.

Then do what you need to get the house sold.

Leave him. He is talking the fucking piss and you for a mug. Leave him now.

Have you considered Women's Aid? They may have some advice none of us have thought of. Essentially, what your FP (he's not entitled to a "D" 😁) is doing is financial abuse.

I know you have said your partner is depressed, or claims to be, but what reason has he given you for giving up work. It's not something people usually do all of a sudden unless they have been sacked - is that possible?

If he is ill or unemployed, he can claim benefits. He should be doing that, he has to eat.

Good lord what a burden your partner is. Absolute parasite.

Don't forget you can rename yourself on here, and do one of those posts asking what to change to sell our house, and Mumsnet can advise you on staging or quick decor fixes to help you sell.

I would ask the mortgage company if taking the payment holiday will affect your credit rating, if so it might be best to switch to interest only, not sure though one to ask your broker.

So strange he just stopped working, did he resign or just be at home and casually let slip he didn't have a job? It sounds so bizarre.

Hopefully your house sells. Have you found somewhere to go?

@Eeeek1 a big mistake a lot of people make is that if they can’t afford the mortgage payment in full they pay nothing. The debt then goes up very quickly. If you pay what you can each month the debt rises more slowly.

For example if you take the 6 month interest only then payments are £1,500 a month if you then pay nothing in another 6 months you have arrears of £9,000. If you take the 6 months interest only and then pay £750 a month after 6 months the arrears are £4,500 I.e. 3 months vs 6 months. A mortgage provider would rather have some payment each month than nothing.

Keep a good dialog with the mortgage provider so they know the situation regarding your financial position and the house sale.

Good luck with selling the house.

Let me tell you , court will be expensive, lengthy & stressful, seling the house at a reduced price will be cheaper & quicker in the long run. Talking from experience

Wonder why you suggested it then. 😅

The beauty of the written word eh? You've completely got the wrong end of the stick with my reply and filled in gaps that weren't even there. Incorrectly, I may add.

Well boo hoo! Keep going op.

Well I can’t persuade him to get a job either 😂

Well I can’t persuade him to get a job either 😂