Partner refusing to pay

Has he explained why he suddenly stopped taking on work? Whatever his reasoning, he sounds like an arse. Hope the house sells soon 🤞🏻

Are you able to re-jig the house and rent out a room?
Is there anything you can do to make the house more attractive to buyers?

What a bloody nightmare for you.

Is he slobbing around in his jocks when there are viewings, and making a mess with cups on the floor etc. I wouldn't be one bit surprised if he is somewhat sabotaging the sale.

Might be worth under a different name and new thread to put a link to your property under the property section on mn

people will be able to advise how to make property better and if in that area to say If over priced etc

having fresh eyes look at it and saying you need to declutter or tidy up front etc may help you get a sell

Complete breakdowns come “out of nowhere” all the time. The signs can be so subtle family don’t put 2+2 together. The strange behaviour of stopping work is certainly a massive red flag.

completely agree with reverting you’ve said, I think there is a self employed related car crash behind this too.

If your partner is poor with money and has been self-employed up to 8 months ago, I bet your bottom dollar he's in debt. He's stopped working, simply because he thinks if he's not earning, he has no money to pay creditors. You aren't responsible for any debt that is in his name. He probably owes suppliers/clients and possibly HMRC. The issue is you are linked by the mortgage, and if he does owe money, especially to the HMRC, they can put a charge against the house. HMRC don't let go, if he owes them money, they will come at him full pelt. I think you need to seek advice from the CAB. See if they can help you cut costs, and speak to someone regarding the implications to you if creditors put a charge against the house. Make sure you have completely separate bank accounts and there's nothing joint (other than the current mortgage). Are you able to apply for a credit score in his name, to see if there are debts? Your partner isn't going to be honest with you. No one wakes one morning and decides they are no longer going to work, even if their relationship is on the rocks. Signs of MH issues tend to show before a complete breakdown, so I don't believe he's depressed. He's burying his head in the sand.

You may wish to keep it private, but the good folks of mumsnet have been eally helpful to some sellers in the past in helping them to best stage their rightmove advert if you're okay with sharing it. Sometimes we're just blind to our own home and don't realise the ad doesn't mention the parking or school catchments, or the photos aren't taken in good light or show bad angles/clutter etc

Not read all replies so may have been mentioned, but with my mortgage company (HSBC, so just a standard bank) I can change my term any time, even though it’s a 5 year fixed rate and not a tracker. So if I suddenly can’t afford repayments I could add another 15 years to my term and reduce my monthly payments massively. Could you ask your bank about that?

Good point. IIRC as part of conveyancing there’s a document which all resident non owning adults have to sign to say they agree to vacate on completion. Since DP is a named owner and has agreed to the sale l don’t think he could legally refuse after completion as the property is no longer his. If he were to refuse to move he would have to do it before exchange or it could get very expensive. If l were OP l’d be checking with the conveyancing solicitor to see if there are any safeguards given the situation.

You think he would just respond to being told to “man up” and that after 8 months she wouldn’t have already tried that? 😂 In what world are problems this serious solved this easily?

If you think that he will obstruct the sale @Eeeek1 , I would make him believe that you will be living in the next house together until the sale is safely completed. That may mean needing an airbnb or travelodge for a couple of weeks due to 'delays' in completion of the house you are purchasing.

1. Tell him to "Man up" and get a job. One that supports his DC, like a real man would do. (Most men dislike their masculinity being questioned).
2. Tell him that if you run out of funds to pay your share of the mortgage then the lender will start repossession and neither of you will keep the house. His credit rating will be tanked as well as yours.

What do you mean that he doesn’t believe you will separate? Surely you already have?

I know you need to live in the same house as him until it sells, but you’ve ended the relationship, yes? And sleeping in your kid’s room/the living room?

If you haven’t then you’re nuts. End it. Reduce the price to get the house sold or use one of those “buy any house” companies and just get out. You’ll lose money but you cannot afford to live there and you need to get away from him and start a new life. Just get it sold and start over.

Will he allow the sale when it actually comes to it?

Put DH on the sofa and rent out two spare rooms to two female international students or international professionals.

Take legal advice @Eeeek1

It is jot applicable in all situations and vastly depends on the mortgage firm and terms, but...when my exh stopped paying the mortgage I had already had a letter from his solicitor to say that I was not responsible for the house eor anything financially linked to it (was still on mortgage even though separated for 2 years as he refused to sell) Khalifa removed all trace of defaults from my name and were amazing at removing me from the calculations etc for remortgage and the debt refinancing.

If the mortgage in tenants in common (I think) then they should be able to assign more help.

If you can't afford a solicitor speak to CAB as some of their teams have excellent knowledge

What is his rationale for not working and contributing @Eeeek1 ? Is he under some illusion about you needing to 'pay him back' for something?

I really hope that you are not covering for him in front of family and friends. This needs some daylight on it ASAP.

Do you think? I think it would be better for OP to accept she can’t understand or change his behaviour and focus on looking after herself and her child and getting out.

who cares what he’s doing for fun? If he’s out on the horses and strippers she still can’t make him pay the bills.

What is his reasoning? Is he receiving benefits? What is he doing for fun/with his mates? Has he received an inheritance? What is your income?

Feels like a lot of information gaps here to truly govern proper advice

OP another thought- get a spreadsheet and put some numbers against this. What will the mortgage go up to in 6 months and what is that worth as a discount now?

as another poster said I’d be surprised if 6 months of backdated capital will cost much. Say it’s under £10k- that’s not much of a reduction to sales price (relative to price of course) if you think this will move the dial, make a plan to slash the price again 3 months into the 6 months interest only.

put decision points throughout if the sale hasn’t happened- when does it get critical, when does it get unaffordable. It will help you feel more in control.

I understand this, I do. In an ideal world, she should pay mortgage, the house would sell, he would move out etc-but the house could stay on the market for a long time, whilst the OP already cannot afford repayments on her own; the partner may be deliberately obstructive to selling or moving out etc

He might be able to claim Universal Credit during the first year of self employment. It's called a start up period. Tell P to make enquires.

This advice isn't to encourage his behaviour, it's to try to stop you and you DC losing your home and your credit rating being trashed. He is watching his (and more importantly your lives) burn. He isn't going to start bringing in an income that's clear, but UC might buy you enough time to get on top of the bills then leave his sorry arse.

I'm so sorry you are going through this OP. What he has wilfully done to your lives is despicable. I couldn't get past this ❤

Do you have something in place for if he refuses to move out when the house sells?

She wants to buy another house straight after which is absolutely the best thing for her and her child so tanking credit rating needs to be avoided

She can’t kick him out of a house he owns half of.

people might not like it but there is no rule that in a jointly owned property the owners have to pay the mortgage 50:50. What’s happening to the OP is the risk of a joint mortgage. She won’t get her any excess of her half back unless he agrees to it. Again, a waste of legal fees

Why hasnt he accepted you have spilt up? It doesnt help your still calling him your partner.