The figures for child homicide in the UK are given upthread. For him to be removed from the home there would have to be much more evidence that he posed a risk to the child than an expression of a thought at a time of high stress. He’s not threatening the child's life, he’s venting from frustration and exhaustion, not rage.
The OP hasn’t been back for two days now and likely won’t be. Once again MN has successfully chased an OP from their own thread by picking up on a detail and running with it to the exclusion of all else. In this case, despite posting for advice on holding her marriage together in circumstances that would quickly bring many people to their knees, the majority of the discussion has been around the perceived threat her DH poses to their DD, and she’s been advised variously that he’s a monster, has mental health problems, will eventually hurt his DD or worse and that she should LTB.
Speaking from professional experience, some of the ‘advice’ posters are giving OP is very far from that which she would receive if she sought help from the various support agencies. They have vast experience of the stresses and strains these circumstances can bring about and in the absence of any other risk factors, the expression of this thought in itself would not be enough to remove him from the home. The assessment of risk is factual and objective, not the emotionally charged nonsense happening here. The focus would be on providing support to keep the family together, which in most cases is by far the best option for all concerned.
Unfortunately resources are thin on the ground and patchy by area so accessing the right support is difficult, time consuming and exhausting. Families are left at breaking point for long periods. Over the years l’ve seen parents left trying to cope with fully grown adult children who are violent and abusive, because their behaviour is too challenging for most placement options. I’ve dealt with parents who have been repeatedly assaulted and have had to resort to putting locks on internal doors so that they can effectively barricade themselves in to keep safe while their child has a violent meltdown and wrecks the home. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.
Some relationships don’t survive these circumstances and the reality is that when they don’t, one parent is left trying to cope and still unable to access appropriate support unless they have private resources.
l have the strong impression that many posters here have no experience of these hugely challenging circumstances, because the ones who do, are those trying to give practical advice among the shouts of ‘monster’ and ‘make him leave’. And more recent posters are wading in with a new round of criticism and outrage without bothering to even scroll back a few pages and read the explanations some of us with professional experience have tried to provide.
I’m bowing out of the thread now. l think it’s incredibly sad that OP has been forced to abandon what could have been supportive and valuable input, instead of which, it’s become just another useless pile on. OP if you’re still here reading l would contact your GP to see what help is realistically available to you in your area as a matter of urgency. I also found the National Autistic Society helpful for local support, resources - link to their website is below. I would also think about self referring to social services and asking for support. It sounds very much as though you’ve reached crisis point and l do hope you manage to hold your family together.
https://www.autism.org.uk/