Niece sold family property

I think it would have been nice for her to let you know she planned to sell, in the event that you wanted to buy it. Ultimately, it was hers to sell, but she could have given you a heads-up.

Poor woman.

She lost her grandparents and mother within 3 years and then had her "aunt" on the phone banging on about property and tearing her a new one for selling HER OWN flat that was full of bad memories.

Thank goodness she has her father.

EDIT - you should change your thread title as it is wrong - "Niece sold her own property" is accurate

It was her right to sell but she could have told you. I imagine as a 21 year old who lost their mum, she was not really thinking about that though.

You have the holiday home and savings. Now you are annoyed you didn’t get the London flat. Bloody hell!

I don’t think an expectation of first refusal in completely unreasonable - I’m hoping to be offered similar if my db decides to sell a property that he inherited that I have a huge sentimental attachment for.

But realistically, it opens up the seller to a world of trouble. what if you can’t quite stretch to market value? What if you need more time to get the money together? What if more than one relative is interested? If someone was contemplating this, would you not advise them to just go ahead and list the property and avoid all that potential?

It’s hard to adapt to changes of ownership, when you have a sentimental connection. My gps house was left to my uncle (largely because he failed to launch, and my gm wanted him provided for). When he died he left it to my db, not to my dm or to me because he wanted it to stay in the family name. Neither myself nor my dm ever used our married names but the sexism prevails because it is his right. And I find myself with complex feelings about my sil’s ownership of, and plans for, a house that as a child I felt I belonged in. The logical part of me knows IABveryU but my inner child is still sad.

You need to let this go op, and apologise. And then grieve a little. But don’t let bricks and mortar break relationships.

You can be livid all you want it doesn’t change anything. OP has no ownership or say regarding the property and as she said she’s no longer close or in touch with niece so she needs to move on with her life.

Of course it was a way to make money, she wants to move back to her birth country so decides to sell the house she legally and rightfully owns, colour me shocked.

I put YABU, as asset was in her name, however I do see your perspective, and why it would be so hurtful. Sorry she didn't let you know.

YABU

Did you ever tell her you would like to buy the property if she wanted to sell?

Your post sort of glosses over things that point to deep hurt and disconnect in the family - your niece not wanting a relationship and you not even knowing what country she was living in or that the flat had already been sold don't suggest that she felt much love for and from the family. And that's unlikely to change (at least towards you) after the first time you bothered to reach out in however long was to emotionally browbeat her for selling her own inheritance from her suddenly-deceased mum.

Would you have had such an "emotional connection" to the property if it had been a one bed flat in Crawley? Or is the central London location playing a part in this?

Surely when it was listed for sale you couldve bought it if you wanted it to stay in the family. Unless you can't afford it, in which case her offering it to you would have been irrelevant.

There is so much that can go wrong with even a simple sale. Would you really want the added complication of a difficult family relationship?

Congratulations, you are now the 'strange aunt who called her niece to hound her about selling her own property.'

Calling her up about it was an impulsive, short-sighted and naive move on your part. Irrespective of whether she told you before selling it or not, what she does with her property is her business and not yours or your cousins. She had absolutely no reason to 'keep you informed' - the only reason you would've liked to have been informed is so that you could've at least tried to convince her to keep it. This is why she did not tell you because keeping was not an option for her.

You need a reality check into respecting boundaries, OP. I'd advise calling your niece to apologise.

You're being so unreasonable

15 years ago the flat could have been sold to fund your parents' care

You haven't even lived close for 2 years and weren't close enough to niece to even know she'd LEFT THE COUNTRY!

Apologise. Now.

Ahaha, just admit that you’re pissed your inheritance hasn’t appreciated as much as your sisters.

It’s her property. She didn’t need to consult you. She probably foresaw the bollocks that would follow.

Look op, it’s understandable that you’re upset that this property is no longer in your family. But that’s the limit - your niece has lost her mum when she is a very young adult and the flat reminded her of it. I think you should absolutely not have said anything remotely judgemental or harsh to your niece. It was her property. I doubt she’ll bother with you again.

I can understand why you are upset. Of course it was hers to sell … you have already acknowledged that but it would have been nice if she had let you know.

Based on your saying that you don't dispute her legal right to have done what she's done, you're not being unreasonable in thinking that she might have had the kindness to offer the family first refusal. But her associations with the property were different from yours and she wanted to get shot of it and she wanted the money.

Realistically, would you have been able to offer her full market value even if she had?

Estates and inheritances are full of thorns. When you're faced with one you can't change it really is best just to let it go.

If you really want to buy the flat you could contact the current owners and see if they will sell. However, as it has now passed out of your family, and you don't live in London, you may feel that your memories are more important than the actual property. It was your niece's to sell and held unhappy memories for her.

I can understand why you are so upset. A property that gave you happy connection to generations of your family who have passed away. Niece has sold it because of the painful memories for her, not considering the meaning it had for you. Can understand why she didn’t want to keep it but such a shame she didn’t stop to consider you might want to buy it.

She is still quite young and grieving, but I wonder if she will ever regret it. Sorry you have lost the chance to maintain connection with a family home.

It' was her flat and unless you're sitting on bucket loads of money how were you going to buy it?

I think you made a mistake in your post title. It's "Niece sold her property".

I read the entire OP and think she is ridiculously entitled. Also- on her own admission (when people are usually trying to present themselves in the best possible light) she says she was 'harsh' with her bereaved niece.

The OP has reacted incredibly badly about something that was literally none of her business.

The OP needs to apologise big time I think. But I expect that was the nail in the coffin and her niece will have washed her hands of her 'family'.

I also read the entire OP, and still don’t think the niece did anything wrong selling her own property. I certainly wouldn’t want to
sell to a family member, hardly likely to do anything to improve already strained relations

So you got the holday home, some savings and you thought you should have first dibs at the house too.

It was a bit rubbish of your parents to not make sure that both you and your sister had an inheritance of equal value. If nothing was written in the will about keeping the flat 'in the family' then there was always the likelihood/risk this would happen sooner or later. I can see why you'd feel sad that it's the end of a chapter in your life, but I don't think you should be angry at your niece.