Niece sold family property

Because it's OP's family home. You don't have to see someone regularly to respect them.

So sad lost her mum and you did this. I feel so sorry for her tbh and hope she is happy where she is at now.

You may have ‘liked knowing it was in the family’ but your niece owned it and decided to sell it because it had painful memories of her mothers death. She had no obligation to check with you during what sounds like a terribly difficult time for her.

So why should the niece give a crap about what the OP thinks of her decision to sell up?

Well I hope in the fullness of time your niece reconnects with you and it all gets a bit easier for your relationship

Because it was the niece who ended up owning it? If they had been closer then it's likely the niece would've understood OP's emotions.

Though in saying that, she may still have decided to get rid of it ASAP without waiting around for OP to sell the holiday home due to her own emotions about the place.

I don't see how it matters though. OP's relationship is with her parents and the previous generation and the house, not with her niece specifically.

Lovely update OP. I think your reaction was very human and understandable. I think its also pretty hurtful that your niece does not seem to want you in her life anymore. That's hard especially as she is the connection to your sister. I also get why this grief might be why niece has pulled away too. We all process differently.

I didn't say she should. I said its a shame she didn't. When my grandfather's house went up for sale I considered buying it, but I only had the opportunity to make that choice because I knew it was on the market.

Thing is, it's not that practical to just leave properties sat empty for years because they could get damp issues, musty, mouldy. If a problem arises with leaking or burst pipes etc, nobody knows until suddenly the neighbours are suffering the consequences. It needed somebody living in it. It probably bumps up the neighbours heating bill if there's a cold, empty flat next door / above / below. Also if squatters ever sussed out there was an empty flat and broke in, you have hell of a job getting them out.

But why wouldn't she? It's money for her future! She's not going to leave it sat empty if her intention is to live elsewhere.

Your niece,probably didn’t want a battle with you. Given you feel short changed by the inheritance you received she may have thought you’d want the property at a knock down price,and it sounds a bit like it. Even if you didn’t would you have been able to raise the money in a couple of months?

She could have mentioned to the family she was selling it.

Good point.

YABU - her property to do with it as she wishes. I can understand why you feel disappointed though OP and I would’ve felt the same. Very difficult for everyone involved.

I think YABU about your reaction. However I think this could have been avoided if you’d said to her at the time that if she ever wanted to sell could she ask you first. I know when my GP died we were all given something worth a little bit of money and very old, when my DF gave it to us he said it is up to us if we sell it but could we offer it to him first as he would like to keep them together if possible.

You really should have raised your objections when you found out your sister was to inherit the property- once it has been inherited twice since you lived in it it really isn't anything to do with you. You were not close to your niece, and did not keep up contact (even if you wanted to keep contact) so it is unreasonable to expect she would tell you that she was selling it.

She sounds like a young woman who been through a lot of only early 20s and lost her grandparents and mother. Were you regularly visiting your sister there whilst she lived in the flat? Not sure of exactly why your relationship with your sisters only child broke down but she prob suffered too much heartbreak and just wanted/needed the money. Don’t make her feel guilty.

Could you have realistically afforded to pay for a central London flat you dont even live in?

I think its understandable niece wouldn't assume to ask you to buy it. And its a bit crass saying to family im selling this you can have it for £X knowing its a huge amount. Also youve not visited in a long time. I can totally see why it wouldn't occur to her

Exactly this. A friend of mine was once in a not too dissimilar situation when she inherited her parent's house. Several other family members said they would buy it, at the market rate, and it would be easy because they knew the provenance of the house already. Cue two years of her being royally pissed about. Turns out that when push came to shove the family members did want a chunky discount after all, and even then the money was always just around the corner, never actually in hand, and eventually the expected my friend to effectively take an IOU for roughly half the purchase price, which she should have been fine with 'because family'. A complete waste of time - she ended up just selling it on the open market and that's exactly what I'd do.

I don't really think you have a leg to stand on...

I can understand your disappointment, but unfortunately your involvement with the property ended some time ago. And even if she had notified you, could you have rustled up the money to buy it at pretty short notice?
And honestly-honestly, did you REALLY want it?? I wouldn't want my parents house. I have a house. A rambling 5-bed in very rural Shropshire is of zero use to me.

And remember, you had your inheritance, and presumably you do as you like with it. How would you feel if she started dictating to you what to do with the holiday home?

Not to mention, this is a 21yo girl who lost her mum very suddenly. The onus was on you to keep in touch and maintain lines of communication. The fact that you didn't even know she'd been out of the country for probably at least 3-4 months speaks quite a lot about the relationship. And you only reaching out to tell her off certainly won't have helped.

Remember the happy times with your parents and sister, and try and move on. I always like to think that a happy family home carries something of that love and warmth in its walls. Try and think of it as happily bringing that love and warmth to another deserving family. It's time for someone else to have the happiness there that you were lucky enough to have.

I really hope you are able to build a better relationship with your niece in the future, OP. You can't have too much family.

Maybe DN did not even realise there was any family history around her flat.
She had a somewhat turbulent upbringing, and so when it came to making a fresh start the chances are she never gave a second thought to who owned the flat before her mother. She may have been oblivious to the fact her DM even inherited it originally

I’d probably be very upset too, but the reality is as soon as your DPs left the flat to your DSis then the writing was on the wall. It’s a shame you didn’t know so couldn’t have tried to get the money together, but don’t let this eat away at you or destroy your remaining relationship with your niece. It isn’t worth it and you’d be better grieving and then letting it go.

That is a really nice update @Sodi you are not in control of the response but you definitely put out the olive branch with that. I hope she gets in touch again because it will be good for her to have some contact with you going forward.