Niece sold family property

She didn’t sell ‘the family estate’, she sold a flat she was legally left.

If you ever planned on selling the house you inherited, would you consult with your niece?

I was ready to YABU but the fact is you don’t mind her selling it - you’d have just like to have been told. For that YANBU and I’m surprised so many disagree.

I think it's shitty of her to not mention it since it's been in the family and there's sentiment there, but ultimately it is hers to sell

It’s none of your business what she chose to do with her own property. I don’t really understand why you would think she should offer it around family first - it may not of occurred to her you would have wanted to buy it considering you don’t live anywhere near or presumably need a flat.

Honestly this is a total nonsense. Did you think it was going to stay in the family for ever and ever. You clearly aren't close to your niece , I'm sure she never got one instance considered 'telling' you she was selling it. You had your inheritance .

You and your sister inherited from your parents

Your niece inherited from your late sister

Your niece did what she was entitled to do

It wasn't 'family property' it was her late mother's property and she clearly needed the money rather than the flat

Any inequity between you and your sister should have been sorted out at the time you both inherited

You can't complain now

Your response acts like the OP did the niece a huge favour? She helped organise her sister's funeral which is quite normal and helped the niece sort some insurance something many people of the nieces age need support with.

The niece then moved back less than a year later into he flat and yet it seems at that point she was indeed ignored by her aunt and maternal family, less than one year after her mother died her aunt wasn't in touch with her?

Why would the niece then ask family who weren't in contact with her about the property, it was clear they weren't interested in her if they all stopped making the effort so soon after her mother death.

It's no wonder the poor women sold it quickly and left all the sadness behind.

I think it was extremely insensitive of her to sell a property that had been in the family for so long without checking in with me

This just strikes me as so entitled. How many other family members should she have checked with, going back how many generations? Realistically, selling between family is rarely in the sellers favour, and this is the nieces inheritance. It was not "family" property, it was your nieces and before that, her mother's.

I think you need to apologise here OP, and consider that despite your emotional connection to the property your niece has done the most sensible thing here in selling for whatever maximum value she got and moving to be closer to her presumably remaining parent.

Get in touch with her and apologise for your behaviour and insensitivity.
She sold her property, there's absolutely nothing wrong with doing this.

Sorry you are upset OP, but it isn't a family property so much as a property that has been important to several generations of your family and still means a lot to you. Perhaps you could make a montage of photos to remind you, with photos of the people who lived there and visited.

I understand you have lost your sister, but I cant imagine being awful to a 24 year old who lost her mum about this. Why would you assume she would have kept it, when it was hers to do as she wished? If you were that bothered, you'd have tried to find out what her intentions were, and how she felt, rather than just assume. Im sorry for your loss, and I understand that this is probably all tied up in your sisters passing. Give yourself some time to cool down. But I think you owe her an apology.

I think people here are being harsh. Yes, it was the niece's to sell but as long as OP was willing to pay market value, of course it would have been nice to try to keep it in the family considering the several generations who had lived there. The niece didn't ever have to visit if it was too emotionally charged. At the same time, I don't think her niece did anything wrong either. It is sad for both of them to have lost parents/siblings in relatively short order.

Memories are not stored in bricks and mortar, they are stored in your brain. I can absolutely understand your attachment to this property and a heads up would have been nice, but she hasn't deprived you of your memories, they are your real treasure trove.

I agree. OP's title makes it sound as though there have been some shady financial shenanigans when in reality, it's just her niece selling a property that she owned and had every right to sell.

Fair enough, given she’s the owner of it.

She told me she didn’t want to keep it as it reminded her too much of her mums death, which is fair enough. However I think it was extremely insensitive of her to sell a property that had been in the family for so long without checking in with me

It is always a wrench to lose what has been a home but really you have over reacted.

She is a young person, her experience is that it was where she and her Mum lived.

It must have been incredibly upsetting to lose her Mum so suddenly and when she was so young. Of course you would help her navigate the aftermath of the loss of her Mum, your sister, did you mean it to sound as if it was a big favour?

Anyway, as for bring ‘insensitive’ she told you it was just too painful for her to be there. And in the face of her sensitivity of losing her Mum you were harsh.

I know you too have lost your sister, and the flat was linked to that. But it may be best to make your peace with the loss of the flat (do you still have the holiday home? How many properties? You don’t live in London so what would you have done with it?) and try not to dwell on the sentimentality.

The flat did its job, it was there for you , for your sister and your niece when needed.. let it go. The future relationship with your niece is more important.

Yes I do.

Very hard to lose your mum, but very odd not to notify the rest of the family that you were selling their parents’ flat, particularly given OP had herself lived in it.

Perhaps you didn’t read the OP properly - DN wasn’t “ignored” by the OP. She was at uni abroad, and the OP helped with funeral planning, organised insurance for the property and checked it regularly while she was away at uni.

When a family member of DH's died the executors realised pretty sharpish that it would be a fucking nightmare with the family. So they put everything up for sale- including furniture and said 'if you want it that badly, bid for it'.

A single person out of the 9 bid for things. When it came to parting with hard cold cash, turned out people did not want things that badly.

I understand that the OP would have liked the chance to buy the property. But she did not keep up with the niece enough to even know the palce was up for sale, and it belonged first of all to the niece's mother. So distant enough in time that the niece probably never thought to inform distant family members.

And I ask again- does the OP consider her holiday home hers... and would she go ahead and sell it without reference to fairly distant extended family.

Your poor niece. She lost her mum at a young age and then your relationship with her broke down. No wonder she went to stay with her father.

but the first time you have contact with her, you were ‘probably’ a bit harsh??? Of course YABU. You know you are. Your husband is telling you that YABU.

It is not the family property. It was your nieces property, to do with as she wished.

Hopefully, you will see that you owe your niece an apology and start to repair your relationship with her.

It wasn’t the ops parents flat anymore. It was the nieces parents. And the op hasn’t even been in it for god knows how many years. I think the niece was right not to tell them going by this ridiculous reaction to a house being sold that has not had anything to do with the op for multiple years and owners. No doubt the op was after a cheap property at ‘family rates’, and would have mentioned at one point how much more money the niece would have got than her, guilting her into a bigger reduction

I agree with this. You should be ashamed of yourself, OP.
This young woman has lost her mother, doesn't want reminding of the difficult memories and you've chastised her for the way she's dealt with her grief. Absolutely shameful.

It was her property. Her inheritance. Her business.

Why would she check with you? You clearly weren't in touch or visiting if you didn't know the property was for sale or that your niece had moved countries.

This. Your parents left the flat to your sister and it then became your niece's property. I never understand these divisive wills, why not just leave everything equally split then let the recipients either sell or buy one another out?

Gently, yabu to expect her to have checked with anyone before selling her flat. If that is how you felt, you should have said something to her years ago.

I understand though there are emotions at play for you due to it being where you grew up, the memories. It also in a way was probably how you dealt with the loss of your sister.

Unfortunately you took out your emotions on your niece. You know you were being harsh to her, please apologise and put more effort into a relationship with her. You are her auntie and all she has left for an older female relative.

She was 21 when her mum died and then you fell out of touch with her ?
That's all really sad. It was her house to sell

You think all those saying it's totally fine for the niece to sell a property she owns are doing so because we are all thinking of the pound signs?

I'm pretty sure most of us are actually considering how hard it probably was for the young women to lose her mum, sell the home and move countries whilst seemingly ignored by her aunt and the rest of her mother's family.

If anything it seems to be the OP who is only seeing the pound signs otherwise she wouldn't have mentioned the disparity between the inheritance.