AIBU to not give my DC extra money

Just saw you pay their rent and bills, so £400 pm is just for food, transport and fun? That's bonkers. My parents didn't give me anything but kindly did pay my rent. Everything else came out of my student loan - I got the minimum amount!

£400 a month with travel covered gives them the same money as an English student living off the minimum maintenance loan outside London. Which is the money that a lot of students have. I'd question why they want more - are they mixing with particularly "rich" crowds?

To those saying "get a job" - it's often not that easy to get a term time job as a uni students as so many people are chasing them. But they could and should have worked over the summer.

They have more disposable income than I have as an adult with a full time job. They can jog on, tell them they can work for extras.

Pub jobs/supermarkets jobs are great for students. They offer flexible shifts and hours and they can use their holidays to take time off to come back home or some places will agree to unpaid leave for students to do that.

It just sounds like they want an excuse not to and the easy option of the bank of mum and dad.

Why would they have to come home to work? Most universities are in areas where there is work available for students.

They need to get jobs to boost their not inconsiderable income. Bank of mum and dad is closed.

I read many years ago that students that have part time jobs are a fair bit slower to blow money on alcohol, than those living off the bank of mum and dad.
It has certainly been the case in this house.
Nothing like working a minimum wage job to focus them on their studies, the future, and the value of money.
Mine work 10-15 hours, no more.

rent and travel home covered - I think £400 per month is fine.

What are they spending on and what would they spend extra on?

I do not understand why they cannot work. Ds had a job at home in the holidays and a job at uni term time. Most students I know do. We did not give ds as much as you are but enough for food and he worked for the extras. He had to.

You don’t say where they are living but DD is in a cheap ish Northern city. Her rent is paid for out of her loan, I pay for her phone sim, and I don’t give her anything like that much. She pays for her food out of that (tho she does share with her friend), any going out, and her travel home. I got her a shop to start her off and a small shop when she went back for a week in August, but she had plenty in. She has near to zero travel costs. She knows she can ask for more if she needs it and I do check she’s not struggling.

Not really teaching them about the real world though is it?

They get enough. If you want to pamper them then go ahead. They're your offspring.

Are they able to work due to their course? How much contact time does it have?

I wouldn’t expect my kids to live on £400 a month, but that’s because I can afford them not to need to scrimp and save. However, I would expect them to be working to make the additional money themselves - unless they were doing a medical degree or similar where they really couldn’t afford to. Then I would definitely top them up myself.

Work ethic is what they need more than they need money. If they have the work ethic but their course doesn’t allow the scope for paid work (rare but possible), then that’s ok in my view. If they don’t have it, they need to get it and I’d probably give them less until they did. It’s a tricky balance to find.

We will be paying for DS’s accommodation next year and he will have his maintenance loan which will work out at c. £100 per week. That is plenty as far as I’m concerned. If he wants more he will need to earn it.

Still £400 is reasonable if your covering everything else. Maybe knock back on the nights out and they wont struggle as bad.

Do they do courses that make jobs impossible ? Eg healthcare

Did they work over the summer? Have they lined up some work for Christmas? Lots of places starting to hire Christmas temps

You said no and that’s enough. They’ll have to think this one through for themselves.

Id tell them both to get jobs. Your not funding their go on the piss funds.

How much student loan do they get?

some degrees in especially vocational ones like nursing do not allow for enough time to get a job as they have to do placements.

what degree are they doing?

They are absolutely right, there is a CoL crisis, you’re actually glad they raised the issue because it’s given you an opening to inform them that you will be reducing their allowance to £300 a month.

Agree they need jobs. £100 a week seems ok to me - £50 on food and £50 on fun stuff is pretty good going.

Tell them that yes, there is a CoL crisis. Get out and get a job!

They already get more from their parents than the majority of students do. They’re ungrateful.

Tell them to get a job like most other students.

Tell them to get off their entitled little backsides and get jobs like thousands of other students do. There's plenty of partime work in hospitality all year round.