Would you pick up a child that wasn’t yours?

You absolutely would . . .

This. But can you blame anyone. People get offended if you look in their direction so you always have to tread carefully

Obviously I would still intervene if the child was in danger, but the question was about helping a kid into a swing.

I would've helped. My DS fell in the park a few days ago, I had 1 baby in the swing and another in the pram. I was trying to quickly get one back in the pram and another parent in the park picked him up and offered him reassurances. DS was fine and off playing before I even got to him - in certain circumstances I think it's ok. Takes a village and all that. Although I am a bit concerned a young school age child had a baby with her with no parents present. My eldest is 6, middle 17 months. I couldn't imagine my eldest caring for either of my babies on his own in a public park.

Many years ago we were on holiday and a boy no older than 3 came running past us. His parents weren't that close to us and he was feeling closer and closer to the road. I turned around and dad very nonchalantly said "he'll stop" and carried on talking to the rest of the group.

Anyway, the boy isn't stopping and I ended up legging it after him having seen an incoming car. I managed to grab him and the car swerved around us both. Dad came over and snatched him away and acted like I was in the wrong.

He's have been hit, he was too small to be seen. I'm sure the car only swerved because saw me.

I know I did the right thing given the danger but I doubt I'd help out under any other circumstances now.

Ideally I wouldn't want to be responsible for lifting the toddler in, because if they then tried to climb out and fell, I'd be responsible. I think if it was a lone toddler I wouldn't and hope they got board of trying and went to play on something else (usaly playgrounds are designed so if they're big enough to get onto it, they're big enough to use it safely). However, I also wouldn't be comfortable leaving the 6yo to lift them in, for fear they would drop them.

On balance I probably would lift them in, but then feel I needed to loiter close by to help again when they look like they wanted to get out. Which I'd do, but be fuming at whatever adult was meant to be looking after them.

If a kid wants help getting down or looks likely to fall, I'd help without a second thought.

I do at various playgroups if they have a tumble but I usually know their mums and them.

I've done it once in public where I didn't know the child- about 2 and came bombing down a hill on a scooter with no parent in sight. He fell at a pothole and was crying and I picked him up from the edge of the road for safety. His mum appeared quite quickly and said he'd got away from her but she wasn't annoyed.

I guess it would be different if I was a bloke, awful to say.

I wouldn’t help into a swing, only because I’d then feel responsible for making sure they’re ok. But I’d help if they had trouble getting off a piece of equipment etc.

If a father was at the park with his children I wouldn’t give it a second thought if he lifted a child into a swing.

I would have done it without question.

My DH is always very hesitant about helping other people's children though, understandably.

A stranger once helped my friend's toddler down from a seesaw and she grilled her afterwards about exactly where the man touched her and if he said anything afterwards. Her reaction was absolutely bonkers, so I completely understand why some people are reluctant to help.

Yes would do and have done

I have twins - when they were younger a park visit probably didn’t go by without someone helping one of them by picking them up etc and I never minded. Happened last week too a lady helped one who’d got stuck on the climbing frame as she saw I was clearly in the middle of sorting a drama out with the other one. The world has gone a bit mad if people are really concerned about this

Of I would have helped

I would've years ago but not now. I'd obviously still help in an emergency. I've read too many posts on MN about boundaries and other people's kids.

It’s ridiculous you would rather not be shouted at by a parent than stop a child being hurt.

Yes, this is what matters. I’m not going to take a small child’s word that the smaller child is safe on the swings with her. If the smaller child falls off the swing, I’m the one who put them there. I wouldn’t expect the parents to be happy about that. I’m not sure I’d let them out of the swing either, for all I know the parent has said to the small child “you push your brother on the swings, I’ll be back in a minute, don’t take him out”

But to answer the question that’s being asked, of if I saw a child hurt or in danger and they needed picked up, of course I would do it.

Once upon a time I wouldn't have thought twice about it, but a few years ago I got absolutely yelled at by a mum for grabbing her kid's coat to stop him running into a busy city centre street (he was about a foot away from the kerb, and she was on her phone too far away to have any hope of catching him). So I'm rather reluctant to help other people's children now !

I'll bet if it was a man helping your child into the swing you'd all have a different opinion . . . .

You apologized for catching a small child who was falling?
Your post is one of the saddest I've read in this many a day.

I understand the hesitation but I'd have helped and if parent had a problem with it I'd have told them if they didn't like it they should look after their own toddler instead of putting the burden on a young child and that they was quite lucky I was a decent person who looked out for their children/not someone who would harm them.

Of course I'd help.

I’d have told her if she couldn’t lift the child into the swing she’s too little to play with the child on the swings and to go and get her mum.

No, that's the parent's job (or other carer who must have been there looking after them). Annoys me when a parent takes their kids to the park then sits on the bench for a gossip or are absorbed in their phone and leaves young kkids to their own devices, expecting random parents to take on a parent role.

I have a rule where I would help a child to get off equipment but not to get on as in the case of the latter I would be responsible for their safety.

No I would not step in to help. People are obviously protective and sometimes over-protective of their kids, so I would never interfere. If you don't touch another person's child you can't be accused of anything, if you do pick the child up you probably won't be accused of anything but you could be. That's my reasoning.