Would you pick up a child that wasn’t yours?

Yes I’d have helped without overanalysing the what ifs.
But that’s how I tend to live my life.

I really hate the fact that a small number of people who do awful things have meant that everyone else second guesses themselves instead of just being able to help in what should be a totally uncontroversial way. On top of the effects of the abuse it's damaging to society to make us less likely to help each other.

I'd be trying to locate the parents really because if she's struggling to lift the little one into the swing, how's she going to lift them out again safely? Seems a bit risky.

@TheFiveLakes

Just wanted to say that your sons sound like very nice, responsible boys. :)

I've only done it when there was a risk of injury or something. I scooped a toddler that had run away from her dad, down the slope I was sitting on straight at a pond. But otherwise I wouldnt

That is can agree with! Thanks for clarifying.

The point I was trying to make (apparently unsuccessfully, judging by the replies I'm getting) was that if I get abuse hurled at me for grabbing a child to potentially save their life / prevent serious injury, I'm sure as heck not going to touch anyone's kid for something as unnecessary as helping them into a swing.

I understand...

We'll done on saving the kid from potential injury...

But its unrelated isn't it? ... Daft parents #1 - ungrateful, me in similar situation ?

I was hugely relieved when a 50 something bloke grabbed my small nephew who broke away from my hand and turned into Usain bolt close to a major road and I couldn't reach him in time!

I would put up with being shouted st rather than watch a child be hit by a car.

Why? That would be plain stupidity.

Sadly there will be people who will claim you are interfering with their child. DH once saw a child crying and couldn't get down, I was dealing with our own children. He came over and told me rather than intervening. I ended up asking the kid if he was OK and getting him to point out his parent. His mum was so far away with her back to him on her phone that she would never have heard him. I ended up getting her attention and the look of disgust that I'd interrupted her call, poor kid.

Somewhat different situation but I had two boys last week about a quarter of s mile from my house and one of their bikes was broken. I tried to fix it on the street but couldn't and they were maybe 2 or 3 Miles from home so I offered to mend it at my house. I was very careful to make sure that I said they and the bikes should stay on the street and that I would get my stuff to fix it and come into the front garden and sort it out there. I offered that they could ring their mum if they wanted. Anyway it was all gone, I mended the bike, they zoomed off and no one turned up on my doorstep to shout at me.

I had really mixed feelings, because I absolutely felt that the right thing to do was mend the bike, but I also felt like asking small kids (I don't think they can have been older than 10, I'd have guessed 9) back to your house sounds super dodgy.

We had a similar situation once, my Dad was with us in quite a busy park, we were altogether with my two daughters and a very little toddler came hurtling down a slide that was too big for her, and my dad caught her, she would definitely had a nasty landing on the concrete etc
The mother went absolutely nuts, don't you touch my f-ing child, it was awful. My dad was mortified, he literally caught her and stood her up, out of genuine concern. I felt so bad for him but that mum was in a big group (and they were drinking, so maybe that something to do with it) and so we just left the park, but it was so unpleasant. It's just instinct though isn't it? I would have done the same?! I often wonder if I should have stuck up for him but she was quite intimidating.
So now I would hesitate to help a child tbh, I probably would have said sorry but you need to find your mum/dad and have them help you

Why would you have a problem touching a child?

I might have hesitated if I thought that what the sibling was asking me to do was not safe for the child, but I would have had no problem touching them.

I have picked a lost toddler up and looked for parents/ a member of staff before.

I wouldn’t help purely because I’d have been worried the toddler might get hurt when they come to get out the swing. I’d have encouraged them to get a parent.

This is unfortunately true - I've noticed that since my boys became too old to want to play in the playground themselves they've instinctively understood this and will usually alert someone else to a child needing help, where when they were under about 12 they'd have set a toddler back on his or her feet or lifted them down from a tree/ climbing frame if asked. A few months ago my 14 year old ran towards the sound of a child wailing right on the edge of a lake we live near and then stepped back and shouted to me to come and pick the child up, having seen he wasn't in imminent danger (in fact the child's mother arrived on a bicycle with baby on a child seat a second later and I ended up holding the bicycle instead).

Men as a sex class are a risk to children. It's prudent for a man to be cautious interacting with an unknown child in public even if he could easily explain it away.

Well the last time I picked up someone else’s child the Mother looked at me like I was about to throw him into a lion’s den. What had actually happened was he’d been knocked flat by the zip line he’d just toddled into the path of while she was god knows where, and I grabbed him out of the way before he got whacked again as it rebounded back from the end. A minute or two later she turned up.

That said, I’d probably still have helped, but asked where Mum/Dad/Whoever was with them was.

In your situation, a mother with a child, no problem - lift the kid as asked, pick up a fallen child, ask a crying one if they are ok.

If you were male then my answer would be different.

I'd ask the child whether they would like help/ permission to help usually, but I don't live in the UK and (especially in the non urban area I live in) this is normal here. We actually live opposite a small village playground and children occasionally ask for help when I just go put to the bin or something!

Exactly what I was thinking too - don't ignore them and then whine about it!!

As someone whose husband took our children to the park every weekend I can categorically say that if a father was at the park with his children and he picked up a toddler to put them in a swing I would not have any problem. What is he doing that would concern me?

I’d have been cautious. Like others have said - if I popped a little one in I’d feel like I’d need to keep an eye in case the older one ran off, someone was hurt, or she couldn’t get out!!

for emergencies I’d help and have done. I’ve blocked a child getting hit by a swing before and guided a boy down from a climbing frame.

it's scary how some parents behave in parks. What if someone took the little one whilst big on ran to get mum? What is there was one of those horrible dogs or the little girl had a seizure. I know I’m being a bit dramatic - but bad stuff does happen. She may even try to climb out and fall.

Difficult. I'd be very wary of picking up a random child.