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Original poster

Etiquette for birthday drinks

53 replies

Hiyahello111 · 05/10/2025 08:40

Hi
I wonder if I could have some advice.
Soon I'm celebrating a big birthday. Ive got a space in a pub and about 25 friends coming to have drinks.
I was happy for it to just be super casual, with people buying their own drinks and food from the bar. Then I attended my friends party last week and all food and drink way laid on (all night!)
I wasn't expecting that at all, but then it made me wonder (and panic) about my drinks...are people expecting that? Am I the one who had it wrong?
Thanks for any help you can give!

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 05/10/2025 08:49

If you have said “come to my party” I would expect food (and possibly a drink)

If you have said “do you want to meet for a drink” I would expect neither

Teacaketravesty · 05/10/2025 08:47

Do what you can afford. I usually do drinks at home but I’m planning similar to yours for my next one, a ‘big’ one, and will put money behind the bar for each friend’s first drink & they can buy their own after that, and I’ll get bowls of chips and other sharing/snacky food and people can order more substantially if they want to. It’s lovely when someone hosts very generously and pays everything but it isn’t something most of my circle ever do because we’re not that flush. We’re still allowed to celebrate our birthdays!

2dogsandabudgie · 05/10/2025 08:45

It depends on what you told friends when inviting them. Did you make it clear that it was buying own drinks and food? I have been to both types of celebrations, one where food and drinks were laid on and the other where everyone bought their own at the bar. Both were great evenings.