Etiquette for birthday drinks

I think that sounds perfect and what most people would expect.

That’s sounds perfect.

I've been to two big birthday celebrations recently, they were both in pubs.

Both had a bar to buy your own drinks. First one had laid on pizza, loads of it. Unfortunately, I was with a friend who is lactose and gluten intolerant and there was no other food.

The second one had nibbles and told everyone before hand that the bar sold food.

No one at either party expected food or drinks to be provided

I can’t believe someone turned up with no money or cards. That’s outrageous.

I know! She was a new person in the group, so I could only assume her previous friends did things differently.

TBF, I grew up abroad and weddings there provide all food and drinks. My first UK wedding, they provided only 1 drink so we had to return to our hotel room to get cards. We were staying onsite anyways, but it was just something I'd never come across before.

If you pitched it as a party I might expect there to be some food but I would anticipate buying my own drinks.

If you just said you were going out for drinks then I’d expect to buy my own food and drinks.

That's cheap of the friend who didn't bring any money!

I recently attended a 60th at a pub. They'd reserved a large section at the back. 1st drink was paid for then they provided a buffet.

Whatever you do, make it clear on the invites! We went to a friends 'party' a few years ago. It was only on arrival that we found out that nothing at all was provided. 1 friend hadn't bought any money or cards.

"Hi - come to my party to celebrate" - probably expect food

"Hi, it's my birthday on the 6th, fancy meeting at the pub for a few drinks?" - not expecting food

I never expect the birthday girl/boy to provide my drinks though!

And I also don't judge "worthiness" of a gift based on what they've provided. That's very transactional

I would expect food and drinks to be laid on if I were invited to a party.
I’m Irish though and we do things a bit differently when it comes to hospitality - certainly with regard to weddings and funerals etc

It would depend what you said in the invite? I would assume if going to a pub for a party I’d buy my own drinks, if it’s a hired out private space then I’d think there would probably be a buffet for everyone provided by the host

I think this really depends on your circle of friends and your age as well.

I would ask one of your close friends who you can trust to be honest

I think offering nothing at all is a bit cheap after the age of 40 - but it does depend a bit on how you phrased the invitation

I would expect buffet food but not drinks.

I did fizz on arrival (few glasses each) and then (lots of) pizzas/chips and music

I would expect there to be wine and beers at first, and food to come out later on. Then people buy their own rounds after a few welcome drinks.

Yeah I guess I'd expect some kind of 'offer' from the host, as i would probably bring s present and assume it was a party if I'd been invited to.someone's birthday. Otherwise the host has gone to no effort - meet at a pub is nothing really. I think some money behind the bar for first drink and a few bowls of crisps would do tho.

I would initially assume it was a buy your own drinks event, however having been to a recent big birthday party where they paid for a drink on arrival and then food appeared I took would now also wonder if that's what people would expect. Although I also got invited to a meal for someone's big birthday where that was more obvious it would be buy your own food.

How did you word it? Is there a group chat where you can perhaps send a bit of a 'reminder' and then set the expectations. With such a large group did the venue not want pre orders for food anyway?
When I went for a recent meal with 20+ the venue wanted us to order in advance because it was such a large group.

I’d expect some buffet food and drink on arrival but not necessarily all night.

Maybe you could get the pub to lay out some food? And a bottle or two of something fizzy? I would never expect all drinks to be paid for but I might wonder if you were going to feed us!

I would put something on if I was inviting people to celebrate a big birthday with me. Nibbles, a welcome drink, anything really.

Are you having a cake? I'm going to a similar sounding birthday party soon and I don't mind buying my own drinks but I was wondering if there would be cake. But the usual birthday parties I attend are for 7 year olds so maybe that's influencing my expectations!

I would never expect drinks to be laid on - always buy our own at the bar. Food - maybe would expect a buffet

If you’ve invited them to your birthday party in a private area of a pub then you need to provide the drinks and food. If you invited them more casually, as in you’re going to the pub on this date, you’re welcome to join, then it’s fine to assume they’ll buy their own drinks and food.

I think it depends on the formality of the invites, are you expecting gifts, did you say in lieu of gifts please buy your own food and drinks etc?