To ask for £20 a week?

I’m a social worker so used to this kind of thing. The main thing I’d say is don’t sell yourself short. If they needed to place the child in care they’d be paying a lot, and while you won’t get the same fostering allowance, I think £20 is a pitiful amount. Have a look at the local authority the child lives in (if different from your own), they should publish the amounts they pay foster carers and should also publish kinship care payments. What they pay you should sit somewhere in between those amounts. Remember it’s not just feeding the child, there will be toiletries, possibly clothes to buy, utilities, birthdays and outings that all add up. You’ll also need to facilitate family time with the child’s family.

Explore the terms of the private fostering arrangements eg what can you make decisions about (hair cuts, doctors appointments, sleep overs etc) and what needs parental consent. Given there’s a child in need plan (Section 17) you need to know what the plan is in the short to medium term, because there will be parts that involve the child. What support can you expect as a foster carers, there’s usually a dedicated team and you might be able to access some training or peer support. I hope the meeting goes well.

If there is a SW involved then they should be setting a reasonable amount with the mother to pay for expenses at the very least - or the LA should be making a contribution. You should not be left to bear this cost yourself as a single mother.

Well that's good.

I know at my school we would try hard to help you!

£20 a week is nowhere near enough.

The school aren’t the people to deal with this, you need to speak directly to social work. Don’t wait for them to come to you, you don’t know what the child’s parents have told them about care arrangements for their child and may think everything is fine. How did you end up caring for the child, what agreements are in place with the child’s parents, and what is the long term plan? You need to be quite proactive here, not just because of funding but an insecure living arrangement isn’t in the best interest of the child, and it is insecure at the moment because there is no framework around it. You’ve been very kind, and being there for the child will be life changing for them, but it needs a more formal setting if it’s going to continue.

I think the relevant questions here are:

1. What age is the child?
2. Who made/is making the decision for them to spend 4-5 nights a week with you?
3. What do you want to happen next? I.e. do you just want some money while the child is with you or do you want to formalise the arrangement.

Please contact the safeguarding lead at the child's school first thing tomorrow morning (their email should be on the school website) and tell them you are involved in a private fostering arrangement and would welcome their advice.

£100 seems more like it

Contact social services. Explain the situation. Offer to foster and ask the process behind this.

Worth bearing in mind OP that some social workers will keep very quiet about your entitlements as a carer for this child because the alternative (a local authority supported foster placement) is more expensive and more time consuming. They should be upfront about the situation but sadly it’s not uncommon for social care to allow situations to continue for years without intervening to ensure everyone is getting the support (financial, practical and emotional) that they are obliged to provide under the law.

How old is the child? Children generally can’t put themselves into foster care - that’s subject to social work assessment of need. An informal or private fostering arrangement is slightly different but there should still be some form of assessment of you as a carer which would include financial support - child benefit should be transferred to you if you’re effectively the primary carer.

I think you need to speak to the child’s social worker first of all to get a sense of what they’re thinking. There are a number of different approaches to care for children who can’t live at home, they all come with different rights and responsibilities, and different entitlements to support for the child involved. I’d seek to formalise the arrangements you have if you’re happy to continue, and certainly request an allowance for caring for the child. If the child was in formal foster care you’d be entitled to financial support and, depending on where you are in the uk, you’d also be entitled as an informal/kinship carer.

If the child is staying overnight it is a private fostering arrangement and you have an obligation to present yourself to your local authority. Just for oversight, but they can also support in approaching the parent/s about covering costs and might give you access to other services as pp have mentioned.

Go down the offical foster care route, you are basically fostering them anyway. Speak to social services on Monday.

If it’s an alternative to the child going into care then you need to speak to the social worker about being properly assessed and receiving the appropriate allowances from the council for caring for this child.

A true private fostering arrangement must include clarity about financial support for the child and private foster carer from the birth parents or someone with PR.

You, and the child, are very vulnerable here OP. If the child should by all rights be considered looked after then there are duties owed to them now and potentially in the future - the informal arrangement risks doing them a disservice.

So does the SW even know about your arrangement?? This sounds mad Op. you shouldn’t be having another child overnight every day without having the correct procedures in place. The mum is being cheeky letting you do it for nothing!!

It’s fine to ask op.
You sound incredibly kind 💛

You've mentioned that the child suggested the signing themselves into care - so the child must be over 16, right? If so, private fostering isn't happening.

I think somebody should certainly be contributing financially to this child staying with you. If the family cannot, the LA might. But if they had no part to play in the child leaving home or staying with you and they deem the child safe and able to return home then they won't.

Though if the SW has suggested the child signing themselves into care, you could propose that you become this child's registered foster carer and go through that assessment. You would be provided with payment but being a foster carer is hard work and can be very very intrusive.

20 a week for multiple children is very low. I think you should calculate how much you get paid as per normal childminder rate * a discount if you like. I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all!

To keep worrying about being grabby and greedy is absolute madness and such a strange thing to say that it makes me think you are quite vulnerable here and being taken advantage of. Who thinks £20 is too much to ask for having a child most of the week? There’s so much shit going on across the country I doubt that explaining the situation would be outing. Otherwise no advice will be very relevant.

Do you have a provable “parental” relationship to the child (eg you’re an ex step parent)? If so, that might help you to claim the child benefits?

That is worrying for a different reason!

Are you able to get their name and number (from DC if a teen, from school if younger) and contact them to introduce yourself and explain the relationship with the child?

I suspect that will lead on to questions about affordability and longer term intentions (or possibly not if they haven’t even spoken to you!?!).

I think as there is already a SW involved and who you are in contact with I would be seeking advice from them.