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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have ended it over this?

113 replies

Ubspp · 04/10/2025 21:23

I probably am being dramatic.

DP of three years has always said he didn’t use Facebook or Instagram. Tonight I brought dinner in and saw him on it. I said oh are you back on social media then. At this point I didn’t think much of it and he started talking about reading the local area update on it. I do the same thing so that was that.

Around half an hour later I just said we should connect on Facebook and Instagram as it feels a bit strange not to. He then went into detail about how he doesn’t use it, why would I want to do that and he’s a private person etc. He basically refused to connect with me. This then made me feel confused and upset (I realise that sounds like I’m a 13 year old!). But something in me just switched and I asked him to leave. He said he didn’t want to but eventually did.

I haven’t heard from him since. Thoughts?

OP posts:

JLou08 · 04/10/2025 22:08

He is clearly hiding something. I can't think of any other reason for him to conceal social media from his partner of 3 years. People may decide not to add work colleagues if they are private people but you don't do that to a long term partner.
You've not been dramatic or immature. I think you've handled it really well actually.

FuzzyWolf · 04/10/2025 21:56

If you search for him on Facebook does he come up?

ArtichokesBloom · 04/10/2025 21:52

Very odd behaviour. He is either hiding you from people or hiding people from you.

GivingUpFinally · 04/10/2025 21:50

Tbh I'd feel the same way. I have Facebook and no other social media platforms as such. I haven't logged into Facebook in over 5 years but if my partner specifically asked to connect on it, I would because I don't have anything to hide.

He was physically on it, I don't see why he didn't just say add me....

I'm sure he will breeze over with some lame excuse or another. Or cleanse it and then offer to add you.

Goldfoxwife · 04/10/2025 21:37

Clearly hiding something then it's strange and I wouldn't accept it

Beanie567 · 04/10/2025 21:36

He doesn’t want to be linked to you in public. So yes, pretty upsetting. Why isn’t he proud of your relationship?

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 04/10/2025 21:36

Well he has something to hide doesn't he?

startingagain17 · 04/10/2025 21:35

I would think he’s hiding something xx

BlueberryLatte · 04/10/2025 21:34

It's really weird of him to refuse to connect with you. It does seem as if he's hiding something. It could be something quite innocent or it could be that he's married or in a relationship

Yanbu I think. I'd also find this suspicious

WallLight · 04/10/2025 21:34

You ended an otherwise happy three year relationship because he wouldn’t let you see his Instagram?

whataweekImhaving · 04/10/2025 21:31

Do you think he’s hiding something?

Or is he just somebody who likes to make a stand about things for the sake of it?

Becuase if he really does just use it for local updates, there is really no harm in you being connected and it’s strange for him to make such a stand about it.

Original poster

Ubspp · 04/10/2025 21:29

@whataweekImhaving i feel really degraded. I don’t k ie why I us bothered me so much but it really has

OP posts:

whataweekImhaving · 04/10/2025 21:25

It’s easy to say you’re being “childish” because it’s Facebook / instagram…..but it is strange to refuse to connect and I would feel similarly to you.

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