To have ended it over this?

Did you notice the dates he last posted on it? That would be your answer, surely.

Are you worried he’s hiding a wife and DCs?
Otherwise he may be keeping SM use light. Why do you need to follow each other if you see each other every day anyway?
Life before SM

I'm not sure why you would end a relationship over someone not wanting to connect on SM?

Either there's a backstory or you are massively insecure.

Multiple posters have explained why it might matter. Algorithm showing you to other people, any connection on social media sucks you into more connections, many people are consciously trying to minimise the time and thought they give to social media. Those are the reasons I wouldn't accept someone new.

So why does being connected on social media matter so much to you? That's the more important question.

So why is that a problem for you? Why do you need to connect to someone you share a bed with in SM? I honestly don't get it

What ages are you? Does he have an ex he’s trying to hide you from? Seems a bit bizarre and childish on both sides.

I use Facebook instagram and tick tok for killing time and random scrolling
don’t connect or friend anyone (new ) and no interest in seeing what random shit other people have liked or been tagged in

ideally I’d clean out friends list but as this post proves people are complete knobs with SM and if you de friend someone it’s a drama

you’ve seen his profile had a scroll through found absolutely zero to be bothered about

if he did want to cover his tracks he could accept you on SM and restrict your profile so you would be none the wiser with tags and like

So what’s your reason for not believing him?

Is it more that you want to be able to show people on your SM that you have a partner with a name?

That sounds like me and FB except the year was probably 2017 or 2018.

I haven't deleted my account because it's sometimes useful for following certain artists, booking restaurants (especially abroad) and every so often an event invite - plus there are FB pages I need to be able to look at for work. But I don't post, I don't read my friends' posts, I don't spend any time on it beyond getting in to do the logistical thing I need to then getting out, and there isn't a chance I'd be adding anyone new on it.

In 2025 I want to spend as little time and thought as I can on social media, and to have as little connected to my personal life as possible on it (obviously for everything pre-2018 that ship has sailed). This isn't an unusual approach any more.

Is he super private? My partner only uses X and we don’t follow each other on there even though we’re both active users. I also know he doesn’t like being plastered all over my Instagram and FB so I keep photos minimum. But he also worships me so I know it’s not a me thing. Maybe he just doesn’t want his ‘business’ online at all. I know it’s a strange concept in our times but a lot of men don’t like it.

Agree with this. I dated a man who asked to find t on Instagram and j told him I don’t use it which is true.
He then found an account I set up in 2016 when my DS was 11 to follow him because he asked me to and accused me of lying about having an account. I had 3 posts on there from nearly a decade ago and forgot it even existed!

It makes sense to him (and he). I’ve never followed anyone I’m in a relationship with on SM - it’s pointless imo.

I’ve never understood why people want to be fb friends with their partners tbh. Surely you just speak to them? Why do you need to follow each other in SM?

In this case however it’s the lying that’s the issue and that would bother me

What reason did he give?

So it is clear that he is not hiding anything, he just doesn’t want to connect with people on his sm.

Why is it so important to you that he does? He can’t hide you from other people he’s not connected to. If he was active on SM I’d see your point, but he’s not. This is just about you want to control how he is Ines something that is nothing to do with you. His choices about SM are not a reflection of how he feels about you. I don’t understand why you would make it all about you when being inactive on social media but still using it to be nosey is a complete non event.

You want him do something completely meaningless that he doesn’t want to and as he won’t do it you end your entire relationship. That sounds like hes had a lucky escape from being controlled and manipulated because you are refusing to listen to his explanation.

YANBU for ending a relationship with someone who is clearly gaslighting you.

But you asked him that, presumably — what did he say?

He did have an account then.

But you’ve been together for three years — presumably you know his family and friends! From whom would he be hiding you?

It’s an odd thing for your DP to take a stand on. I don’t blame you for feeling rejected OP.