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AIBU?

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Original poster

Being called darling/aw bless by nursing staff

508 replies

KatyKopykat · 04/10/2025 20:36

I do a cleaning job once a week for a neighbour who's been in hospital, she's coming up 67. She's been telling me that the nurses and hospitality staff all call patients darling incessantly. They all do it and she thought it's part of their training. I'd hope not! Another thing they keep saying is bless/aw bless.

AIBU to say this is not professional? I'm not in my sixties but I'd stop it immediately if anyone said it to me.

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 04/10/2025 20:46

What would she prefer? If she’s expecting manically busy staff to remember or have to look up individual names each time then that’s unreasonable. It’s better to say something warm and generic than get it wrong or mis-pronounce.

I say this as someone who hates being called love, or darling, or sweetheart by randoms but I can absolutely understand why they do. I think the lack of empathy around the challenges of working with the general public in hospitals is the worse of two evils tbh.

Pifflepafflewifflewaffle · 04/10/2025 20:45

Just spent some time with an elderly friend in a&e and was horrified by how patronising some of the staff were to an incredibly intelligent older person, it’s like they assume you lose your brain as you age.

67 isn’t even old, plenty of working 67 year olds, I’d be irritated by it too.

Westfacing · 04/10/2025 20:44

I’m 71 and a recently retired nurse.

Darling is a genuine term of endearment.

PractisingMyTelekenipsis · 04/10/2025 20:43

It's always been made incredibly clear when I've done any training for a carer role that we do NOT call anyone dear/ love/darling/my lovely.

Now when i got to know my long term residents, sometimes it did happen. But I knew they were OK with it.

Original poster
KatyKopykat · 04/10/2025 20:43

Newusername3kidss · 04/10/2025 20:40

I assume the “darling” is because they might not remember all the patients’ names. This wouldn’t bother me at all but I’m from a northern town where we call everyone “love”

Yes so are we. I asked her this and she said they said "Hello Pam darling" so they do know their name.

OP posts:
Dearg · 04/10/2025 20:41

Could not get worked up about this. Are the nurses taking care of your friend? Treating her with respect and mindful of her dignity?

It may be hard for them. Some patients want to be called Katy, others ‘ Ms KopyKat’. ‘Darling’ avoids that specific issue.

Newusername3kidss · 04/10/2025 20:40

I assume the “darling” is because they might not remember all the patients’ names. This wouldn’t bother me at all but I’m from a northern town where we call everyone “love”

NoSoupForU · 04/10/2025 20:38

Professional? I think its better to be treated with kindness when you're unwell and/or vulnerable in hospital than to be treated cordially.