Being called darling/aw bless by nursing staff

Hospital staff just can't win can they ?
I think it's lovely and wouldn't mind it at all.
Please worry about things that really matters.

I’m on chemo, in and out of hospital. If I got worked up, each time a HCP called me “ darling/ love/ sugar” I’d be raging 24/7! I live in the NE, originally from the SE.

It's a term of affection, how could anyone hate that?

No it’s definitely not part of the training 😂. My ex manager used to get absolutely irate if she overheard a staff member calling a patient darling/sweetheart/angel or any other similar name. I think some people either use it because they can’t remember their name or they think it sounds caring, but IMO it sounds a bit patronising/infantilising.

It’s exhausting isn’t it

When I worked on the wards I had quite a few patients calling me "love" or "darling" 😄 I loved it! Those people saying it's not professional and they wouldn't do it in a work meeting etc...nursing is different, being a caring profession with a lot of frightened and vulnerable patients. It depends on the patient, the skill is sussing who would welcome a softer approach and who definitely wouldn't!

I don’t mind being caked mum when I take dd to hospital. I am her mum 🤷🏻‍♀️ why would I expect them to learn my name, I just want them to look after dd.

So true imagine working as a nurse , bring busy, exhausted, trying to remember lots of different medications and people's needs and 'how are you darling?' slips out because you're in care mode and the person is furious and complains ☹️

Honestly the things people get hung up on never ceases to amaze me. In a long term casting situation I’d expect the staff to learn what I like, on a hospital ward I’m just another patient so kindness is welcome. Pretty sure no nurse goes to work thinking they want to be patronising. People need to stop looking for things to be offended by. The world is so full of hate sometimes we just need to take language as it’s intended.

I work with a lady who says “hi babe” to me. I’m a senior member of staff and am really not someone you’d call babe or hun etc, but that’s her upbringing and meant as a term of endearment so I’ll take it as intended, smile and say “hello Amie”.

I agree. It’s like when old people are referred to as “young man” or “young lady”, which really is patronising. Or saying that someone is “x years’ young”.

Absolutely and ‘are you mum / dad?’ No I’m the cats mother 🙄

How are we supposed to know?

Probably depends more on the area and what the individual nurses use as part of their everyday vocabulary rather than the patients age.
It's not part of mine to use any endearing terms so I wouldn't be able to switch to using it for the elderly.
Around here is it more likely to be called love or lovely. I get that all the time from all sorts of professionals, dr, nurses, vet, dentist are the ones that spring to mind where I had noticed this. I am in my late 30s so certainly not due to age. Don't get offended as they are using it to try and be nice.
The aw bless you thing. Most recently I had it when I called an out of hours vet in a panic for advise. And I can vividly remember it said at a hospital visit when I was 19 for something particularly traumatising. The nurse could see the pain, both physically and emotionally, I was in said aw bless you, in a way to emphasise and express her concerns that I was going through that. As I began to cry out in pain again, she actually had a tear and apologised saying she had a daughter the same age and I reminded me of her and felt upset by witnessing it. Some could argue that was unprofessional, but it made me feel cared about and that I had someone there who genuinely felt compassion. As opposed to the arsehole horrible nurse the day before who told me to stop crying and calm down immediately after being given the awful news. I know which nurse I would prefer

You can talk to someone without knowing their name though. Adding a generic term of endearment adds nothing.

I don't mind love, darling etc but if anyone ever says "bless you" to me I might have to discharge myself! It's so patronising.

Well sorry the World didn't ask you exactly what terms you condone.

That pp meant they are only trying to be nice.

To be honest, I think you'd have to have extremely fragile self-esteem to get that wound up by a term of endearment.

surekynyou realise that it’s easy to be nice without using terms like ‘darling’ and ‘sweetheart’.

I really couldn't care less. They are being kind, which surely is desirable.

Honestly, people who get wound up about such things must lead very stressful lives 🙄

How does calling someone darling extrapolate to being caring?

If they're taking good care of me I couldn't give a shit. I call people darling and sweetheart, where I'm from you're considered rude if you don't call people that!

So we’re not allowed to call people darling or love for fear of offence. But we apparently Have to call men women and She. Right got it.

It’s all bullshit. Let’s have less policing of language. Life would be more pleasant.

I am happy with it. Rather that than a cold and clinical approach. It is possible to be both professional and warm.

I so totally agree with this.

Everybody takes umbrage at a look, gores NC with anyone who dares have an opinion, then they wonder why the world is full of isolated individuals with MH issues and no support systems.

I genuinely think people think its a sign of being somehow enlightened to get pissed off and spiky.

YADNBU, it is condescending and it's recommended in health and social care that people are asked how they wish to be addressed and that this is documented in their care record

www.theguardian.com/social-care-network/2015/sep/16/care-home-residents-darling-love-cqc

I really dislike it too. It’s not sweet or friendly if it’s being done to people who dislike it. Aawww Bless is particularly naff. You can easily show warmth, compassion and friendliness without using patronizing terms.

She’s quite lucky to ind caring nurses, there are many who are not