Being called darling/aw bless by nursing staff

I'm a doctor - work in a hospice. I've been called darling / sweetheart/ dear by a fair few patients and colleagues alike and have done the same back a few times. It's a common friendly term round here. Doesn't necessarily mean the same in every place / environment.

I think if you feel patronised or belittled by someone calling you 'Darling' or 'Sweetheart' then you must be pretty insecure.

I don't mind being called 'darling' or 'love' or 'sweetheart' etc, but I draw the line at 'awww bless,' and I have only had people say this since I hit mid my 50s. It's nearly always people a generation or more younger than me too. See also; 'awww you're so cute.'

There should be a mandatory 2 year prison sentence for anyone who says 'awww bless' and a 1 year one for 'aww aren't you cute?' if the recipient of the comment is over 50 and the person saying it is younger!!!

And don't even get me started on 'Barbara is 83 years YOUNG!' And someone calling someone a generation or two older than them 'young lady,' or 'young man.' Just stop. Please, I beg you, just STOP! It's so patronising!

I may be a bit over dramatic with the idea of the prison sentence, but seriously?! Grrrr.

Meanwhile.... In 'proper problems ' land....

(You've got way too much time on your hands )

My dentist (who is male and young enough to be my son) calls me "lovely", it is a Welsh thing.

I have absolutely no idea?

I don't mind the 'darling' so much, might have been guilty of saying the same in the past but I can't stand ' Aw, bless' Most people haven't a clue what a blessing is

I’m not a nurse so no I don’t. Also as a patient I’ve never been asked what I want to be called… who has time for that?

I'm in my thirties and have had some scary hospital / clinic visits in the last couple of years. Someone calling me sweetheart or darling has been a huge reassurance and comfort through that. I'd never see it as patronising. If you dislike being called that, surely it's easy enough to say "sorry, i can't stand being called x - could you call me y instead?".

The two loveliest department leads I've ever worked for, in two very professional roles, called me "bach" - it means little in Welsh, and would be used to say "little one" as a Welsh form of darling or sweetheart. It made them warm and approachable and I loved working for them.

Gosh, of all the things to get worked up about in the world this is so incredibly far down my list.

Oh FGS I call everyone darling or my lover or my beauty, mainly because I meet lots of people and can't remember everybody's name. Why tf are folk professionally offended at everything all the time, life's too short to be offended at a sparrows fart.anyway

Don’t you say ‘hi, my name is Carol. What would you like me to call you?’

That’s why they have a little board next to you with all that information on

Obviously not intelligent enough to realise they mean no harm, and are just trying to be caring in what can be a stressful environment. Sometimes they get this wrong.

No one is more or less deserving of being called "love" or "darling" because they are "very intelligent" ffs

I actually find it really endearing when (mostly older) people at work refer to me as darling or sweetheart. It gives me the warm and fuzzies.

I think it says a lot about you as a person if you automatically assume that everybody who refers to you like this is trying to patronise or infantilize you. There's a notable difference between being patronising and showing genuine affection. 99% of people doing this will have good intentions.

Similarly, calling any Black woman who one has categorised as a target for depersonalisation " Aunty" by other Black people gets short shrift from me.
I'm not your aunt, I don't want to eggs up with you and if asking a woman over the age of thirty her name is beyond you, shut yuh morning!

They’re just trying to be friendly, kind and approachable and show sympathy.

It’s difficult - some patients will be insulted being called by their first name, but call someone Mrs X when they’re a Miss or Ms or vice versa and that’s offensive too. Some hate Madam and they’re not Ma’am (nurses aren’t bowing and scraping servants).

So Darling it is.

Isn’t this just a regional thing? I’m from the NE and say darling often to all sorts of people. It’s just the way we talk, never realised anyone would be offended.

They are just trying to be caring and kind. It's essentially just a verbal tick

And as someone who's frequently been the on call doctor, they absolutely do do it to the on call doctors, including the men. It's often just that persons personality. I don't agree its a loss of dignity to be called darling by someone who's caring for you, and some of the best nurses/HCAs I've worked with will say this sort of thing.

When I worked as a carer you sort of learn what to use. One guy thought it was hilarious if I said a particular name to him and we had an in joke (mr eggy as he loved my scrambled eggs) but you ask what people want and then use that

some is regional - my grandad calls everyone cock/cocker. He could meet the king and would still be “alreet cocker?”
I know if someone rings me at work and says duck, they’re likely from our derby branch

Yes, I’ve seen it on 24 hours in A&E and it was only a fleeting glimpse of the show.
You want the patient to sit up, slide their glasses sternly down the end of their noise and say something like, “Excuse me.”
My very intelligent and together father in law in his mid-seventies has been patronised like this and he hates it.

After reading the comments of so many self righteous whingers Im so glad I didn’t follow other members of my family into the caring professions. Get over yourselves people.

Agree!!!!

I don't mind "darling" or "love", but I really hate "bless" and "aw bless". If that is used with an elderly person, it really comes over as if you are treating them like children.

It really is. And somehow depressing.